Originally Posted by
Ultima Collection (PC)
Here is a blast from the past…..and I do mean BLAST!!!
It has been reordered for your reading pleasure.
Enjoy.
rhea..
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From: Salter, Anthony
To: ML PRODUCT SUPPORT
Subject: SPAM: Good joke.
There was once a butcher who had a little shop. One day, just as he was about to close, a little old lady came in. "Well," thought the butcher, "I'll just go ahead and take care of her before I close. How long could she take?"
The little old lady was there for over an hour, trying to decide what she wanted. The beef was too white, the ham too pink, the pork chops too fat, and the veal was...veal. The butcher was just getting madder and madder, first because she was keeping him open, and second because she was insulting his beautiful handiwork!
Finally, the little old lady asked, "Do you have any chickens?"
"Yes," the butcher replied, "I do." He pulled out his last chicken and weighed it for her. It weighed three pounds.
"Don't you have anything bigger?" asked the little old lady.
Which was the final straw. "Yes, I do, but it's in the back." said the butcher.
The butcher went into the back, pulled out a meat mallet, and began to beat the chicken, venting all of his terrible frustration on it. Again and again he cursed and pounded until he was exhausted. Then he brought the chicken back out. It now weighed five and a half pounds.
"Fine," said the little old lady, "I'll take both."
Badman.
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From: Shelley, Rhea
To: Salter, Anthony
Subject: FW: SPAM: Good joke.
I've been thinking about this all day........i don't get it?
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From: Salter, Anthony
To: Shelley, Rhea
Subject: RE: SPAM: Good joke.
She wants the chicken that weighs three pounds AND the chicken that weighs five and a half pounds! But THERE IS ONLY ONE CHICKEN!
I have visions of myself in a soft white room, my arms confined, chanting "only one chicken" over and over again.
Well, I've been cured of ever posting jokes again.
Badman
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From: Shelley, Rhea
To: Salter, Anthony
Subject: RE: SPAM: Good joke.
ok.....i understand that she thinks that there are 2 two chickens, even though there is really one (although i don't understand how beating the hell out of a 3 pound chicken will make it weigh 2 pounds more).....but why is that funny? It's an honest mistake. She asked for a bigger chicken, he said there were more in the back. To her, he went in the back and got a 5 pound chicken. So she naturally said, "I'll take both.", not thinking that he would be back there breaking the laws of physics. I don't see the problem. I probably would have said the same thing. Is there something i'm missing?
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From: Salter, Anthony
To: Shelley, Rhea
Subject: RE: SPAM: Good joke.
'kay, I don't mean to sound facetious here, but have you ever worked fast food or food service and dealt with a customer like this? This poor butcher has waited on the woman for an hour after closing, nothing is good enough for her, he breaks the laws of physics to give her a bigger chicken, and she wants both of them. What is he going to do? How can he tell her that there is only one chicken? She won't believe him.
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From: Shelley, Rhea
To: Salter, Anthony
Subject: RE: SPAM: Good joke.
Why doesn't he just go into the back again and beat the hell out of the 5 pound chicken until it's 8 pounds and then cut off a 3 pound hunk and sell 'em as 2 chickens?
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From: Salter, Anthony
To: Shelley, Rhea
Subject: RE: SPAM: Good joke.
OKAY, OKAY! Maybe it wasn't such a good joke! I surrender to your onslaught of physical laws and staid common sense!
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From: Shelley, Rhea
To: Salter, Anthony
Subject: RE: SPAM: Good joke.
OKOK....forget physical laws..........wouldn't she be as upset about her bruised chicken as she was about "The beef was too white, the ham too pink, the pork chops too fat, and the veal was...veal?" I mean....come on?
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From: Salter, Anthony
To: Shelley, Rhea
Subject: RE: SPAM: Good joke.
No, she doesn't give a damn about chicken.
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From: Shelley, Rhea
To: Salter, Anthony
Subject: RE: SPAM: Good joke.
Then why the hell does she need 2?
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From: Salter, Anthony
To: Shelley, Rhea
Subject: RE: SPAM: Good joke.
I'M COMING TO KILL YOU, RHEA, I SWEAR TO GOD!
Well, maybe not kill you, but certainly hurt you.
Well, maybe not hurt you, but definately to give you a good tongue-lashing.
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From: Shelley, Rhea
To: Salter, Anthony
Subject: RE: SPAM: Good joke.
Well maybe if you hit me hard enough i'll gain 2 pounds.
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