The building is on fire, but I must keep playing Nintendo!

[mills]

When I play video games, I become so immersed that I am completely unaware of my surroundings, but one time while playing NES at kindergarten, it could have meant my demise!

The kindergarten I attended was called "Kiddie Haven." What a haven indeed! For it had a giant activity room filled with toys, blocks, games, and even an NES!

One day I was in the activity room playing Ikari Warriors, I had been focused on that TV screen for well over an hour so I decided to hit pause and take a break for a minute. Well I had been SO focused on that game that I failed to notice that the entire school was evacuated! As i put the controller down and got up, I saw that the red and white fire alarm lights were flashing. As I headed for the exit, several fire fighters in full fire-fighting gear rushed past me. I open the door, step outside, I see the entire school Lined up 100 feet away in classic fire-drill fashion. Except this time it was for real.

I guess they didn't want to disturb my game of Ikari Warriors!

[OldSchoolGamer]

Well you lived to tell the tale, a true hardcore gamer!

[rbudrick]

Dude...no fire alarm? No teacher yelling "Everybody out?"

So, did you pause the NES, or turn it off?! :D

Fill this story out with some details! It's short and sweet, but could be a little longer and a bit sweeter.

-Rob

Edit: Oh cool, more details added.

[mills]

there was no audible alarm, no teachers or fire fighters called my name or tapped my shoulder. I did see flashing lights though. I paused the game and came back to finish later. I suck at writing!

[dylan0228]

Amazing, back then they allowed video games in school! Now they blame video games for all the violence!

[mills]

with some advice I edited the story a little bit, let me know what you all think.

[boatofcar]

What kind of Kindergarten did you go to where you could play NES?

[exit]

What kind of kindergarten leaves children in a burning building, that's one hell of a lawsuit there. And no fire alarm? How did that place manage to not get shut down.

[RJ]

Please explain to everyone how you got to play NES in kindergarten.

[mills]

This kindergarten was very cool. We got to choose our own snacks to eat. There was an activity room with a TV, an NES, and another computer/game system that I don't remember what it was. But I do remember playing congo bongo on it. I played it using a keyboard to set the game up and a joystick for game play.

This place was a kindergarten/day care kind of thing, meaning some kids came there after school to be baby sat by the staff until mom picked them up from work.

I was a hyperactive ADHDDDDDDD child and video games were the only thing to get me to sit down/shut up.

Should I include this in the story?

[Ed Oscuro]

best story ever!

Funky thread number too.

[mills]

best story ever!

Funky thread number too.

hahaha your right.

Thanks for the support, I'd appreciate it if you would vote also :)

[rbudrick]

Wait a minute....you were on the last level of Ikari Warriors?

It takes about 3 hours to get there. What kind of Kindergarten was this?! LOL

And I know you didn't use the stage select because it took me 3 years to actually pull that code off...most difficult cheat to perform ever...tougher than the Golgo 13 stage select, even).

-Rob

[RJ]

Well...I didnt see where mills said he was on the last level...

& he said it was "part daycare", so I guess he COULDVE been there a few hrs.

[mills]

Yes I was there for playing for quite a long time

[mills]

perhaps if the title is less believable I should change it. I dont want my story to seem fabricated.

[RJ]

Well, the title isn't unbelievable per se, as that's what you WERE doing...just that the story was lacking at first.

Not that we don't believe you, but you'd left out some key elements that'd explain/answer some questions.

[mills]

Actually after I had initially written the story I thought I was done. But I had received a few encouraging messages via PM basically saying that the story was great but it's missing certain elements and details. So slowly but surely I am editing the story to be a more enjoyable read altogether and to provide more detail while keeping the reader interested throughout.

That's what the edit button is for!

[rbudrick]

So you weren't on the last level?

:( Baby Jesus now cries. That means there is no such awesome kindergarten.

-Rob

[mills]

I had been playing for at least an hour I remember. I took that part out of the story because when I originally put it in, nobody believed it :( sorry.

what do you think I should do then?

[rbudrick]

Well, truthfulness is best. Just say you were an hour into it, hence why you were so enthralled in it.

-Rob

[mills]

Another lame story I remembered.

We were playing track and field, it was the first time and last time I ever used the running pad. Well while running I slipped and fell backwards and hit my left ass cheek bone on the solid wooden corner frame of my friends water bed on the way down. It hurt so god damn bad that it was painful to sit for about 2 months.

[Flack]

Mills, you have the core of a very good story here. I am commenting on a few stories today that I think have potential, but need some writing help. As I stated in another comment earlier, when writing such a short story you need to make sure every single sentence is directing your reader to "the punchline". For example, it is unimportant that the computer used to play Congo Bongo. Also, I think what level you were on doesn't matter at all to the story. The core of the story is that you were playing NES one time and were so involved in the game that you didn't notice the building was on fire. Every part of the story needs to be building to that point. Here's how I would rewrite this:

---

Whenever I play videogames, I focus so hard that I completely block out everything going on around me out. One time, it almost cost me my life!

The kindergarden I attended doubled as an afterschool daycare. Along with a giant playroom filled with toys and blocks, the school also had both a Nintendo and a computer that we were allowed to play games on. My favorite activity was sitting on the big couch in front of the Nintendo and playing games all afternoon long.

On one particular afternoon I had been playing Ikari Warriors for over an hour. I was really focused on the game and had mentally blocked out everything else going on around me. In fact, I was so focused that I failed to notice everyone else evacuating the building! During a break between levels, I looked up and noticed that there was no one else in the building with me. That's when I noticed the fire alarm lights, flashing red and white. As I put down my controller and began walking toward the exit, I was passed by several firefighters running past me. When I got to the exit I saw all the teachers and students lined up 100 feet away from the school.

I guess no one wanted to disturb my game of Ikari Warriors!

---

I would work on a better delivery for the final paragraph.

[mills]

I'll try my best to edit it using your suggestions, as you can see I'm not a great writer. Thanks for your input.

[ZeetherKID77]

Now a question...Did the NES survive?

[hbkprm]

good story man

[Nesboy43]

That must be an awesome tale to tell, "I have a NES prototype", "I have over 300 games". "Ohh yeah, I kept playing NES while the entire building was burning down!"
.........Silence