Have You Ever Stopped To Think About The Actions/Behavior of Game Characters? [Archive]

RegSNES

06-19-2007, 06:37 PM

For instance...

Mario: In Super Mario Bros. he would stomp on Goomba's, Koopa Troopa's, and nearly get his butt screwed up by Lakitu and his Spikies God only knows how many times all to hear "Thank you Mario, but our princess is in another castle" seven times. Seven. Freaking. Times. Now you think after hearing that line three times, Mario would stop and ask, "Whoa, hold up, stupid Toad guard. Why is that you guys are always getting caught and instead of the princess I find you freaks?" Joe Shmoe probably would have tolerated that crap 3 times before saying "Eff this, I'm out."

Sonic Blast Man: Here we have a super hero from another planet (betcha didn't see that coming) with extraordinary powers. In the game's intro, he hears a woman's cries for help. The woman is tied to some train tracks, and wouldn't you know, there's a train coming! Sonic Blast Man takes off to rescue the damsel. He makes it in time to save her. All he has to do is pick her up off the tracks, no problem. But that's not good enough for our hero. No, he lands on the tracks, winds up a punch and shouts "TAKE THAT!" smashing the train into a million pieces, causing tons in property damage and killing everyone that was on board the train. I'm not super hero expert but I'm pretty sure that's not how you're supposed to rescue someone. And the guy is a hero after the fact! The woman he rescued is all "Thank you, Sonic Blast Man." Sonic Blast Man has this big grin on his face while holding the woman in his arms that just screams "Oh yes, I'm gonna get me some!"

Snapple

06-19-2007, 06:46 PM

If Mario didn't want to hear about the Princess seven times, he should've taken the warp pipe.

S-Wind

06-19-2007, 09:39 PM

Nirvana

06-19-2007, 10:47 PM

"I guess its ok to walk into random houses around town"

Graham Mitchell

06-19-2007, 11:04 PM

"I guess its ok to walk into random houses around town"

...steal their money and beat up their chicken.

Judging by the subject line of the thread, I thought this was gonna be a discussion of morality in the behavior of VG characters. Glad it's not.

DefaultGen

06-19-2007, 11:09 PM

.....

Push Upstairs

06-19-2007, 11:34 PM

I always wondered WTF made Jill think that a blue tube top, a black leather mini-skirt and a white sweater wrapped around her waist made for a good getup for escaping a zombie infested city. :?

I guess one can make the same criticism for virtually every female character in every videogame.

I've always wondered what why Blaze from the SOR series felt that red short tight skirts, tops, and boots was an ensemble fit for beating the shit out of endless punks.

"I'm going to bring that scumbag Mr. X down...time to get out the red boots!"

Also, why would you let the future or your civilization/the earth/your people rest upon the skills of a lone pilot and *ONE* spaceship? I can't possibly see the Allies beating the entire Nazi Military with a lone airplane and one crack pilot.

Gentlegamer

06-19-2007, 11:45 PM

"I'm feeling weak . . . I'll just bash this garbage can and eat the ham that falls out on the ground to refresh myself."

PSXferrari

06-20-2007, 12:00 AM

I've always wondered why defenders even bother to chase Bo Jackson while he's zigzagging down the field on Tecmo Super Bowl.

RegSNES

06-20-2007, 12:19 AM

Don't forget Arthur from the Ghosts & Goblins games. In one game I think you had to play the game TWICE to rescue his girl. That means he literally had to go to hell & back and then back AGAIN just to rescue that chick. Is any woman really worth all that trouble?

And what about Frogger? What kinda freaking frog can't even swim?!

Characters that don't grab onto ledges when they are about to miss a jump. Haven't X and Rayman taught us anything?!

Metal Man is super weak against his own weapon in Mega Man 2. What was Wily thinking?

Icarus Moonsight

06-20-2007, 02:05 AM

Haoie

06-20-2007, 02:09 AM

I've always wondered how the world functions in a platform game.

Just a X and Y axis, it's pretty, weird, to 3D people like me.

PSXferrari

06-20-2007, 02:14 AM

RPG's are serial offenders here. The "Fetch my slippers" events/quests are amoung the most retarded.

"Heroes! You must take this stubby candle to the cave in the north and give it to Grumpus the Dwarf. The broken bridge will be mended ONLY when this task is completed."

I think that the characters would say: "My Lord, the world is faced with a crisis. Should the chosen heroes really be bothered with such duties a lesser servant could attend to?" But, no. Their just fine with it. :hmm:

I think to myself: Seems that I can't go on to more important matters until this trivial task is done. WTF?!?! No wonder the kingdom is in peril... the King is a dumbass. @_@

The thing I've never understood with RPGs is how can the characters be so comfortable just striking up random two line conversations with everyone in town?More importantly, why do the townspeople engage in the conversation rather than being completely creeped out by some random group of weird looking people trying to talk to them?

Of course, you can't say much for the townspeople either. They spend their entire day either standing in one spot forever, or pacing back and forth in the same general area. No wonder they're so willing to talk to someone.

James8BitStar

06-20-2007, 02:24 AM

I don't tend to really think about it... I mean they're games.

However, I have found Console RPG worlds a bit of a wonder sometimes. How can two towns maintain an open trade route when to get from one to the other, you need to traverse a monster-infested cave? And why do these worlds have no more than ten towns?

Was playing Lufia II recently... very first thing you're hit with: People can't go to the next town cuz the cave to it has been blocked off and monsters stole the key. And yet, every shop in the game sells Warp Stones which allow you to teleport to any town which you've already been to...

PSXferrari

06-20-2007, 02:31 AM

Was playing Lufia II recently... very first thing you're hit with: People can't go to the next town cuz the cave to it has been blocked off and monsters stole the key. And yet, every shop in the game sells Warp Stones which allow you to teleport to any town which you've already been to...

Good point. Reminds me of the Grand Theft Auto series. When you first start out, all the exits to other areas are blocked off for various reasons (i.e. the bridge is have repairs done and is currently shut down). So who do any of the civilians get in and out of the city? Basically it's like they're stuck in a little prison. Imagine if that happened in real life-- a lot of people would be losing their jobs for deciding to do simultaneous construction on every exit from the city. I think this alone explains why the people in GTA games are so violent.

Tron 2.0

06-20-2007, 05:53 AM

Metal Man is super weak against his own weapon in Mega Man 2. What was Wily thinking?
Should be what, MegaMan thinks every time Dr.Willy pulls the sorry act.

Then he pulls the same stunt again on trying to rule the world... even though he's been beaten so many times.

You think by now,MegaMan would be piss off and let some body else be the hero.

Jorpho

06-20-2007, 09:26 AM

Don't forget Arthur from the Ghosts & Goblins games. In one game I think you had to play the game TWICE to rescue his girl. That means he literally had to go to hell & back and then back AGAIN just to rescue that chick. Is any woman really worth all that trouble?

Well, it never occurs to him to wear more than underwear under his armour either.

See also http://project-apollo.net/text/rpg.html .

exit

06-20-2007, 02:04 PM

It's odd how every legendary hero can't swim, they just die instantly when they touch the water. Oddly enough, there are swimming levels in Mario, but yet he can't swim outside those levels.

James8BitStar

06-20-2007, 03:35 PM

You think by now,MegaMan would be piss off and let some body else be the hero.

In the arcade games and Rockman & Forte, that's actually an option.

Though then again, I'm sure when Mega Man DOES get pissed off:

A) He thinks, "If I don't fight, who is gonna be around to save Protoman when he invariably blows himself up?"
B) Or, "If I don't fight, then I get Roll's cleaning duties."
C) Or, the Shapings of the Protoculture manipulate his feelings so he winds up wanting to.
D) Or, he realizes that, deep down inside, he's really a destructive little robot and he enjoys blowing things up.

XYXZYZ

06-20-2007, 04:11 PM

I hate it when stupid things block your path.

Link can run all over the world without getting tired, fight thousands of monsters, lift things, charge into things, and severely wounding him doesn't slow him down at all. But if a statue, or even a simple rock is blocking his path, why can't he CLIMB THE FUCK OVER IT?!

Or you can't access an area because there's a row of trees in front of it. I don't know how many times I've been upset that you have to get to this one location, but can't because the heroes don't know how to step up onto a rock.

But what really kills me are those platform games where the enemies are shorter than the hight of your standing, or even crouching shot (Myu in Zelda II) and you have to go out of your way to find some weapon or attack position to kill the thing, because the hero can't just aim his shot a little lower.

DefaultGen

06-20-2007, 04:19 PM

.....

kirin jensen

06-20-2007, 05:25 PM

Super Mario Brothers 3: Why the fuck do they keep letting the king play with his damn magic wand? And is there some sort of masturbation subtext going on here or is it just me?

Also, why would you let the future or your civilization/the earth/your people rest upon the skills of a lone pilot and *ONE* spaceship? I can't possibly see the Allies beating the entire Nazi Military with a lone airplane and one crack pilot.

Depends on how much crack that pilot is on.

Jorpho

06-20-2007, 09:12 PM

Super Mario Brothers 3: Why the fuck do they keep letting the king play with his damn magic wand? And is there some sort of masturbation subtext going on here or is it just me?

O_O Um, what?

The Kings have magic wands. The Koopa Kids steal the wands, transform the kings, and leave. Is there some other interpretation of the story I am not aware of?

Push Upstairs

06-20-2007, 11:22 PM

Depends on how much crack that pilot is on.

You mean that would depend on how much crack *EVERYONE ELSE* is on.

CreamSoda

06-20-2007, 11:32 PM

This topic makes me think of Ryo Hazuki in the Shenmue series...

Talk about dedication, this guy is so focused on revenge, that he doesn't even have time to go to the bathroom! XD

RegSNES

06-20-2007, 11:33 PM

It's odd how every legendary hero can't swim, they just die instantly when they touch the water. Oddly enough, there are swimming levels in Mario, but yet he can't swim outside those levels.

See?! I'm not the only one who is troubled by this! GTAIII man and Tommy from Vice City are supposed to be the baddest of the badest mofos. Offing gang members, blowing up cars, capin' cops, yet they easily get peaced out by some H2O? Lame.

And why did Bowser always keep an axe at the end of his bridges on Super Mario Bros.? The second Mario passes him up, he's screwed.

Why does Peach continue to get captured? 20 years later and this woman can't go anywhere without beind abducted. One day Mario's gonna be at at his pad, sitting in his underwear getting ready to watch a game when he gets news that Peach has been caught for the 199788728723 time. Mario's gonna be like "AGAIN?! @#%!"

Blitzwing256

06-20-2007, 11:37 PM

See?! I'm not the only one who is troubled by this! GTAIII man and Tommy from Vice City are supposed to be the baddest of the badest mofos. Offing gang members, blowing up cars, capin' cops, yet they easily get peaced out by some H2O? Lame.

And why did Bowser always keep an axe at the end of his bridges on Super Mario Bros.? The second Mario passes him up, he's screwed.

Why does Peach continue to get captured? 20 years later and this woman can't go anywhere without beind abducted. One day Mario's gonna be at at his pad, sitting in his underwear getting ready to watch a game when he gets news that Peach has been caught for the 199788728723 time. Mario's gonna be like "AGAIN?! @#%!"

Its called being an attention whore, women like to do that to get attention ;-)

smork

06-21-2007, 12:06 AM

All these treasure boxes just laying around in RPGs. Gold laying all over the place in almost any game. Man, these people better take care of their shit -- they deserve to get it stolen! If I had an ATK+50 broadsword in my possesion, I sure wouldn't leave it in a terra cotta jug at the entrance to my tent.

exit

06-21-2007, 12:20 AM

All these treasure boxes just laying around in RPGs. Gold laying all over the place in almost any game.

How about various monsters and demons having gold? Also, why do some of them try to steal my monies? It's not like they're going to go shopping at a local town, since they never seem to stop destroying them.

ProgrammingAce

06-21-2007, 12:41 AM

Am i the only person who noticed there's no door on the inside of a toad house in SMB3?

Or of course my favorite explanation for the super mushrooms, they're baby toad-people. I mean, come on... you're in the "mushroom kingdom", all of the inhabitants are mushroom people, yet you eat little mushrooms that are trying to run away as a power up? Don't get me started on the moldy 1up mushroom...

James8BitStar

06-21-2007, 04:29 AM

How about various monsters and demons having gold? Also, why do some of them try to steal my monies? It's not like they're going to go shopping at a local town, since they never seem to stop destroying them.

Actually, that sort of makes sense. Smaug in The Hobbit had the dwarves' treasure, and never spent a penny of it--he just liked having it for the sake of having it. A lot of greedy things are like that, they just want more and more for the sake of having more.

(Merril from Louie the Rune Soldier is also in this camp).

As for monsters having money, one possible explanation that has been offered (and I think was accepted as the main explanation in the original D&D rulebooks) was that the monsters stole the money and treasure from travelling merchants, or towns they raided. Some monsters like the basilisk just like things that glitter so they're likely to collect sparklies and keep them in their lair.

Course, D&D usually had it so that animals and insects didn't carry any money (so you wouldn't fight a group of flies and get 100 GP--that wouldn't make sense). I think with like snakes and rhinos and things, the unspoken implication in console RPGs is that the heroes sell their hides for the cash.

bangtango

06-21-2007, 02:08 PM

I have three things I have often thought about.

1. Seeing that we already knew how big Jaws was from watching the movie, how come LJN didn't bother to supply the gamer with "a bigger boat" for the NES version?

2. How come Robert T.S. went into battle, during Ninja Gaiden 2, with evil demons bent on ruling the world with nothing more than a puny little handgun? The man should have been packing some higher-powered ammo.

3. How come Link never laid the lips on Saria or Malon in Ocarina of Time because they both had the hots for him? Chances are, he could have had them both and neither of them would have been the wiser.

Push Upstairs

06-21-2007, 11:50 PM

I'm sure you could find out the answer to #3 if you look for certain websites.

And what type of weapon do you use to fend off a demon? Uzi? Shotgun? Stealth Bomber? Flashlight?

James8BitStar

06-22-2007, 02:35 AM

And what type of weapon do you use to fend off a demon? Uzi? Shotgun? Stealth Bomber? Flashlight?

Traditional Ninja weaponry seems to work pretty well.

And when that fails you can always depend on the disembodied head of a samurai who attacks by puking on everything.

exit

06-22-2007, 04:11 AM

I was playing Tomb Raider Anniversary today and a thought occurred to me, how did Lara Croft not catch pneumonia? She wore a tank top and short shorts in the middle of Antarctic weather, but she seemed perfectly warm. Yet she can't hold her breath for longer than 10 seconds.

Frica89

06-22-2007, 03:35 PM

Peach must give some pretty good head.

Frica89

06-22-2007, 03:43 PM

Should be what, MegaMan thinks every time Dr.Willy pulls the sorry act.

Then he pulls the same stunt again on trying to rule the world... even though he's been beaten so many times.

You think by now,MegaMan would be piss off and let some body else be the hero.

I heard that Mega man lacks free will, which would explain this. He is just a machine designed to kick ass.

Protoman, on the other hand, DOES have free will, which is why he's all over place, switching sides and acting mysterious.

bangtango

06-22-2007, 07:24 PM

I'm sure you could find out the answer to #3 if you look for certain websites.

And what type of weapon do you use to fend off a demon? Uzi? Shotgun? Stealth Bomber? Flashlight?

Sure, I've read a little but I don't hang around many Zelda web sites. From what I've read, the fanboys write that since Saria is a forest sage she couldn't ever be with Link. As for Malon, Link doesn't really "love" Malon and supposedly this is hashed out in some story (either official or it might be unofficial) that happens outside of the game.

A shotgun seems to work ok in the Contra games and the later Resident Evil games which have bosses who look like they were created with a photoshop program. So even though they are different universes, if a shotgun can stop aliens and genetic mutations, the idea it might stop a few generic demons that regenerate if you move back 5 feet isn't a huge stretch :)

Push Upstairs

06-22-2007, 11:43 PM

She wore a tank top and short shorts in the middle of Antarctic weather, but she seemed perfectly warm.

Maybe it was an excuse so they could render her...um..."cold"?

bangtango

06-23-2007, 08:20 AM

I heard that Mega man lacks free will, which would explain this. He is just a machine designed to kick ass.

He is not a machine anymore! According to F.X. Nine's revision of the Mega Man II story, he became human after Dr. Wily stuffed him in that machine and Mega Man actually had "feelings" while he was fighting these robots :wink 2:

Graham Mitchell

06-23-2007, 03:05 PM

He is not a machine anymore! According to F.X. Nine's revision of the Mega Man II story, he became human after Dr. Wily stuffed him in that machine and Mega Man actually had "feelings" while he was fighting these robots :wink 2:

Is that why he wanders around the countryside during the ending with pensive music playing? It kind of reminds me of that montage in Ghost in the Shell where the Major wanders around town as if she's questioning her own mortality/humanism.