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View Full Version : My Review of Fisher Price - Firehouse Rescue for NES


Bluteg
10-11-2007, 01:33 AM
The members of gamercootie.com are starting to review shitty old games. Here is my contribution: http://www.gamecootie.com/entry/index.php?topic=165.0

JJNova has another good one up.

Thanks again DigitalSpace for the editing.
Bluteg
10-11-2007, 01:41 AM
Can someone move this to Classic Gaming, please!
Blitzwing256
10-11-2007, 08:25 PM
wow, awesome! we need more reviews like this, although I think you should have said fuck a few more times and added a few more internet in-jokes.
walrusmonger
10-11-2007, 08:31 PM
poor review of a shitty game that didn't need to be reviewed.
Barbarianoutkast85
10-11-2007, 09:12 PM
As a writer by profession for a large regional newspaper I'd like to give you a few pointers and tips. First doing use the word "fuck", writers are supose to be diplomatic with word usage. Nevermind, the review is pointless, and the game is horrible and didnt need reviewed in the first place.
Sothy
10-12-2007, 12:10 AM
As a writer by profession for a large regional newspaper I'd like to give you a few pointers and tips. First doing use the word "fuck", writers are supose to be diplomatic with word usage. Nevermind, the review is pointless, and the game is horrible and didnt need reviewed in the first place.

Was your response like a very subtle form of irony for comedic effect or was it unintentional and that much more amusing. Either way... fuck.
walrusmonger
10-12-2007, 01:02 AM
As a writer by profession for a large regional newspaper I'd like to give you a few pointers and tips. First doing use the word "fuck", writers are supose to be diplomatic with word usage. Nevermind, the review is pointless, and the game is horrible and didnt need reviewed in the first place.

As a poster on these forums that has read some of the stuff you have written, I have to say that you should be the last one giving out grammatical or content advice. Not to be a douche or anything, but I've been wanting to point this out for some time, and your nasty post was just the thing I needed.

A quote from your dumpster diving story.

"The red ZX2 weaved in and out of traffic, between big-rigs gracefully, ever so often losing traction and the ass-end would almost gracefully slide sideways with the roar of the engine..."

How on earth did you get a job writing for a newspaper when you over poeticize your writing and reuse the same descriptive words multiple times so close together? I guess you could use the excuse that this is a forum and you don't really care about what you write here. Then I thought, if that was the case, why would you bring up that newspaper crap to rub it in the other guy's face?

I mean, his review sucked. It was a piece of shit, plain and simple. But I'd rather read 100 pages of crap like that than 100 pages of stuff written by someone who tries too hard.

That's it, I have no idea why I ripped on you so badly, it's nothing personal.
InsaneDavid
10-12-2007, 01:35 AM
As a poster on these forums that has read some of the stuff you have written, I have to say that you should be the last one giving out grammatical or content advice. Not to be a douche or anything, but I've been wanting to point this out for some time, and your nasty post was just the thing I needed.

I never say this but... QFT.
ryborg
10-12-2007, 01:46 AM
I never say this but... QFT.

I am going to QFT this QFT because BO85 was a complete dick to InsaneDavid in that Cool Spot contest thread a few days ago.

Seriously, what the hell is this: "First doing use the word "fuck", writers are supose to be diplomatic with word usage."

"doing"? "supose"? Just a little bit of the pot calling the kettle black here. I have a degree in journalism and I've never met a writer on any level who can't spell and use basic words.

Regardless, I have a new sig.
Bluteg
10-12-2007, 02:04 AM
poor review of a shitty game that didn't need to be reviewed.

walrusmonger added to 'can suck a horse's cock list'

OK Thanks.

It was comedy and tell me my mock review was worse than Angry Video Game Nerd's shitty reviews. I fucking say fuck a lot but I don't say "diarrhea sluts" over and over. Lick my left nut douche bag!

Edit: Your not on the list thanks for supporting me against assholes. For fucks sake people its comedy, I guess no one buys the HBO or Showtime package.
Ed Oscuro
10-12-2007, 02:11 AM
why are you not being diplomatic, blute

edit for justice: that Fisher Price Firehouse Rescue game reminds me of an arcade game I once played, at least the top down level with GAS and HOUSE(s) does. That game had you in a tank, though...
Bluteg
10-12-2007, 02:21 AM
Play the fucking game if you can. It's like 30 minutes long, and it was a joke review. Up tight assholes pull the NES controller out of your ass.

Not aimed at you Ed, your cool in my book.

HUR, Cheetamen 2 is this best game ever because I got it sealed, mint, SUPAR R@RE and it can be traded to the US Federal Reserve for 50 gold bars.
boatofcar
10-12-2007, 02:25 AM
Play the fucking game if you can. It's like 30 minutes long, and it was a joke review. Up tight assholes pull the NES controller out of your ass.

Not aimed at you Ed, your cool in my book.

So you wrote a review and didn't expect it to get any negative criticism?

And yeah, the AVGN is much, much funnier than you are. Sorry.
Sosage
10-12-2007, 02:54 AM
A mentor of mine once gave me a piece of advice:

"If you're looking for rainbows up the ass for something you worked on, go home and show your mother."

In other words, don't tape your work up on the wall unless you have thick skin.
GarrettCRW
10-12-2007, 03:10 AM
Bluteg, sorry about derailing the thread, but I have to ask:

What's the obsession with, as you put it, "sucking cock"?

That is all.
boatofcar
10-12-2007, 03:13 AM
Not just cock. Horse cock.
GarrettCRW
10-12-2007, 03:16 AM
Not just cock. Horse cock.

And dino cock.

And dirtymustardcock.
Bluteg
10-12-2007, 03:53 AM
It's Chuck's favorite since I get banned for #Vbender comments but he does not! Thanks a million GAC!!!

Go ahead ban someone that supported this before it was created...certain mods... I remember Mike Etler THE GUIDE!

BTW Joe has done a great job!
Kid Ice
10-12-2007, 04:07 AM
It's Chuck's favorite since I get banned for #Vbender comments but he does not! Thanks a million GAC!!!

Go ahead ban someone that supported this before it was created...certain mods... I remember Mike Etler THE GUIDE!

BTW Joe has done a great job!

Whatever.

Your "funny" review is not funny.
Bluteg
10-12-2007, 04:12 AM
Whatever.

Your "funny" review is not funny.

Well that took effort, play the fucking game.

Look at the surroundings and at least try to fucking understand my rating and end quota rating.
Vectorman0
10-12-2007, 04:24 AM
This would just get worse, so I'm locking it now.