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View Full Version : [The Onion] Liberty City Police Face Allegations Of Incompetence, Brutality



Sniderman
06-06-2008, 11:13 AM
Liberty City Police Face Allegations Of Incompetence, Brutality (http://www.theonion.com/content/news/liberty_city_police_face)

An excerpt:

Nonetheless, residents say that their confidence in the Liberty City police force—low in the best of times—has eroded almost completely.

"I was buying a hot dog from a street vendor in Hove Beach yesterday when I saw someone run a red light, barrel down the sidewalk, careen into a garbage truck, exit his vehicle, steal a nearby convertible, and drive away," one Broker resident reported. "A nearby police car didn't even react. But when the car behind him nicked his fender, the officer shot the driver through the windshield and walked away."

"That is not the kind of law enforcement we want for our community," he added.

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"It's almost as if the cops in this town are as much an adversarial faction as the criminals," said public defender Kiki Jenkins, who is rumored to be instrumental in recent incidents of police being inexplicably pulled from chases and criminal pursuit. "Sure, we have excellent radio stations and an incredible range of things to see and do here. But if I were younger, I'd move to Mario World in a second."


Heh-heh. I love The Onion...

miaandjohnrule
06-06-2008, 11:21 AM
Classic onion. Those guys are always good for a few laughs.

Phosphor Dot Fossils
06-06-2008, 11:21 AM
This sort of crap never happened in SimCity, but then again I bet the taxes are lower in Liberty City. And Godzilla and tornadoes never happen there. To say nothing of the apocalyptic earthquakes that happen when the mayor stands in the middle of town and yells FUNDS! over and over again. Greedy bastard.

TheDomesticInstitution
06-06-2008, 05:43 PM
This sort of crap never happened in SimCity, but then again I bet the taxes are lower in Liberty City. And Godzilla and tornadoes never happen there. To say nothing of the apocalyptic earthquakes that happen when the mayor stands in the middle of town and yells FUNDS! over and over again. Greedy bastard.



It's hard to please anyone in that fucking town. Bring in the jobs and build an industrial park and next thing you know every asshole is complaining about pollution.

Anyone else complains and I'm gonna bulldoze the fucking stadium, so help me God.

The Onion is awesome.

mnbren05
06-06-2008, 06:53 PM
Haha good article.

DigitalSpace
06-06-2008, 11:52 PM
http://www.digitpress.com/forum/images/smilies/1103_rofl.gif

Emuaust
06-07-2008, 03:41 AM
slightky offtopic but it reminded me http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/comic.php?d=20080512

jcalder8
06-07-2008, 10:22 AM
I loved the article.