Ten Atari 2600 Games Worse Than E.T.

[digitalpress]

I know I have a face made for audio only, but there's a point I've been trying to make for awhile now and it simply required video evidence. Special thanks to Frankie ("Says_Relax") for recording and supplying some insight as we literally "winged it" one morning in the store.

Part I
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzdqaJIeE0Q

Part II
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PR50m78IIJs

Part III
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwoUt-AGW3c

Two things post-production that I noticed that I probably would have changed or elaborated on. Games by Apollo, while "arriving late on the scene" were actually one of the first third-party companies to design games for the 2600. The words didn't really come out right there. Also, there will be much debate forever regarding the dumping of E.T. cartridges in New Mexico. My stance is the same as Howard Scott Warshaw, who in a discussion he led at my store last summer shared his viewpoint - which makes perfect sense.

The total running time is about 18 minutes.

[megasdkirby]

Some of those games don't look so bad...

[Hitman Tyler]

Some of those games don't look so bad...

agreed. :) Then again I never played any of them...

[megasdkirby]

I've played a few of them. They aren't the greatest, but surely aren't the worst.

Where is Firefly, for instance?

[Hitman Tyler]

I've played a few of them. They aren't the greatest, but surely aren't the worst.

Where is Firefly, for instance?

well everyone has their own a option. That's what makes our country different, due to everyone has a different point of view.

[megasdkirby]

well everyone has their own a option. That's what makes our country different, due to everyone has a different point of view.

Agreed. I for one think certain popular games are horrible...yet if I mention the names I will be hunted down for heresy. :p

[scooterb23]

I've played a few of them. They aren't the greatest, but surely aren't the worst.

Where is Firefly, for instance?

This was just 10 games worse than E.T. Not all the games worse than E.T. We would have been here all day if he'd have done that. Nice work Joe, can't really disagree with you on any of these.

And I sorta like Firefly

[Kid Ice]

Agreed on most. Star Fox is probably the worst game I ever played. Football is actually pretty good w/ 2 players. I don't think I ever played that soccer game....you can't even pass?

That said...ET was a massive disappointment. I don't think anyone had very high expectations for 3rd party titles made by any company other than Activision, Parker Bros, and Imagic.

[tom]

I like X-Man, managing all three mazes gives me some kind of....accomplishment.
And Stellar Track is Star Fleet I (Apple ][, A8, C64), excellent strategy game.

[megasdkirby]

This was just 10 games worse than E.T. Not all the games worse than E.T. We would have been here all day if he'd have done that. Nice work Joe, can't really disagree with you on any of these.

And I sorta like Firefly

It wasn't a bad game, but it was lacking in so many areas. It's fun for a short time, but to play it constantly...at least I don't think I can. Also, if memory serves me right, it's virtually a copy of another Mythicon game, with different graphics.

Regarding some of the games, Swordquest would have been great if it wasn't for the fact that I have NO IDEA what to do. Even with help, there was little I could accomplish. If it wasn't so obscure, it would have been fun.

The Atari Football game (first one) isn't that bad, but it's very lacking. I rather play the Mattel version. Also, Real Sports Soccer isn't bad either, when the person knows what to do. But it is unfair how the computer can cheat at times...I mean, when you have the ball the computer can run at two/three times your speed to catch up to you?

Racketball isn't that bad if you really concentrate on the ball, otherwise I can loose sight of it easily.

I am with Tom on this one...I liked Xman...

[guitargary75]

I agree, no way it' the worst game of all time. There are plenty of games ahead of it.

[Frankie_Says_Relax]

Also keep in mind this IS NOT a TOP 10 list.

There's no ranking or order (though SSSNAKE does seem to potentially be the top contender for the "all time worst" slot in the Digital Press universe) ... and I would imagine that given the time Joe could come up with plenty more titles for 2600 that are technically "worse" than E.T.

[Xtincthed]

fun and interesting video :) even for non-atari collectors, just video-game enthousiasts ;)

[cyberfluxor]

Good job on the message. I'm not a big fan of the E.T. game, but have always been well aware of far worst titles across the VCS library and other systems. Keeping it real in good taste, congrats!

[c0ldb33r]

What was the scene too hot for youtube? ;)

[Zap!]

Awesome work as usual, Joe. While ET may not be good, I never thought it was terrible. It gets a bad rap.

[Vectorman0]

What was the scene too hot for youtube? ;)

Kind of not safe for work...

http://images.uncyc.org/pt/b/b2/Xman_atari.jpg

[tom]

The Swordquest series, what were they thinking?

[Zap!]

The Swordquest series, what were they thinking?

I think I am the only one in the world who liked those games. I absolutely loved the comic.

[Mianrtcv]

Kind of not safe for work...

http://images.uncyc.org/pt/b/b2/Xman_atari.jpg

Wait. I thought the person in front was sick and the second person was pushing them home. :P

[tcv]

Wait. I thought the person in front was sick and the second person was pushing them home. :P

Well, I don't know about you, but I found the image highly erotic. Man, I am going to upload that to Megarotic tonight!

[Haoie]

Beat Em and Eat Em, isn't that on the Wiki article for worst games ever?

And of course, the always classic Custer's Revenge.

[digitalpress]

Some of those games don't look so bad...

I had hoped to flush out a few of the people who call E.T. the worst of all time. So tell me... which of the games in these videos "don't look so bad"? I'd love to elaborate on my initial commentary.


Beat Em and Eat Em, isn't that on the Wiki article for worst games ever?

And of course, the always classic Custer's Revenge.

Wiki... what a joke. That's the site that won't even recognize Digital Press as a historical resource OR gaming community. Beat 'Em is actually a very GOOD game. Paddles, plays like Kaboom! and it's fairly challenging. Custer's Revenge sucks but it wins points for being outrageous and also somewhat challenging... quite UNLIKE X-Man, where there is absolutely no challenge (in two tries that morning, I was able to beat all three mazes. There is only one enemy and he ALWAYS turns right. The stupidest kid in the world could beat the game in 10 minutes. If you like this game you're that kid who uses cheat codes for games that are already easy to beat and none of my commentaries apply to you). I would be happy to list more reasons why E.T. is better than X-Man. Trust me - the video is meant to be brief but if you're missing any particular point...

Let's debate!

[rbudrick]

I thought ET was a pretty good game. Besides the play control of getting out of the pits, I don't see really anything wrong with it. Hell, it's one of the few that has a real ending!

-Rob

[megasdkirby]

I think I am the only one in the world who liked those games. I absolutely loved the comic.

Comic was good.

Game was terrible, only because of it's obscurity. How the hell would one know what to do in certain screens without help? Otherwise, it would have been great.

Swordquest Earthworld, for instance, is one of those games I really want to like, and thus continue playing. But then I get really mad at it because of how it was programmed.


I had hoped to flush out a few of the people who call E.T. the worst of all time. So tell me... which of the games in these videos "don't look so bad"? I'd love to elaborate on my initial commentary.


Before I can elaborate, I need to emphasize the difference between "looking" good and actually "being" good. Some games listed look good graphically, but play terribly. The opposite is also true: some games look terrible but are great in gameplay.

Let me begin with X-Man. Yes, the game is not that good, and the controls are sluggish, sometimes unresponsive, and the darn scissors sometimes cheat to "get" to you. However, it's not a terrible game per se, just lacking. And the in game sequences (*ahem*) depict what it is mean to depict: two characters having sex, though really rough looking.

Glacial Patrol is next. The most annoying thing for me is the fact that you have to push DOWN to jump? Why not press UP on the joystick/pad? I really like how you can control your jump midair, which helps avoid that damn ball thing that comes out. Also, it's sometimes unfair when the ship is tossing the "bricks" (or whatever they are) and it's so fast that you can't react in time. But otherwise, for me, in terms of gameplay and graphics, it's decent at best. Sound on the other hand, is quite terrible and does get on my nerves.

Just as you mentioned in the review, Racketball's main problem is what I call the "reflection balls". Take those away, and the game becomes playable. My guess was that Apollo wanted to make the game "realistic" (no idea HOW) or more difficult, so they added the reflections as a special effect. Unfortunately it killed what could have been a great game. So yes, this is definitely WORSE than ET, but only because of the issue mentioned above.

Sssnake is....errr....no comment. Yeah, I have one comment: WHY IN THE HELL CANT I MOVE ANYWHERE EXCEPT THE DAMN SIDES!?! WHAT WHERE THEY DRINKING WHEN THEY CAME UP WITH THIS PUTRID TRASH?!?

[Jumpman Jr.]

Pretty funny, Joe. Watched the first one earlier today. I'll watch the other two when I have a free couple of minutes.

I say make more movies along this style.

[vintagegamecrazy]

Joe I really liked that, I don't love ET but don't hate it either. I enjoyed it as a kid though, I also like how you kept the video clean and professional without profanity and the X Man images, it was a high quality and professional video.

[slapdash]

All that matters is that Joe included Sea Hunt (AKA Scuba Diver AKA Skin Diver). That is THE worst game in my opinion. Football? Quaint, and what they could do at the time. Sssnake? Well, yeah, not great, but acceptable for having some novelty to it. Sea Hunt? An abomination. It is only years of experience that keep me from swearing when I say just "an abomination" instead of "a f..."; well, you get the point. I'd rather play Star Fox (or Fire Fly, or Sorceror) than Sea Hunt, and that's saying a lot.

[digitalpress]

Joe I really liked that, I don't love ET but don't hate it either. I enjoyed it as a kid though, I also like how you kept the video clean and professional without profanity and the X Man images, it was a high quality and professional video.

Thanks, brother. I had no intention to go "Angry Video Game Nerd" on this, I just wanted to make a simple point. Now I have something to show people when they say (and this happens A LOT) that E.T. is "the worst game ever made".

The YouTube version cleans up the X-Man footage but there is a more "adult" version on megavideo.com. Frankie posted a link to that in the October NAVA thread in the Events forum if you care to see it.

[Chainclaw]

Great list, great idea. Being born in '84, I wasn't around for when these games first came out, but I was playing Atari games as a kid into the early '90s, and even then it was obvious that E.T. wasn't the worst.

I think E.T. is pretty crappy, but there are so many games worse than that, it must have been hard narrowing it down to just 10.

My personal favorite 2600 game to hate on is Squeeze Box.

[Tupin]

Pretty good list. Squeeze Box is pretty bad, but I just don't like Skeet Shoot. It's WAY worse than ET.

[digitalpress]

My personal favorite 2600 game to hate on is Squeeze Box.

Oooh. really?

I enjoy Squeeze Box! There's really nothing wrong with the game in my opinion. Graphics and sound are on par. Gameplay is challenging, without glitches, and fair. Plus, you gotta love the little devil that pops up when you lose. You just gotta.

[BydoEmpire]

I enjoyed the videos, but I honestly liked the Swordquest games. Never came close to finishing any of them, but I still thought they were pretty fun (and looked good as well).

My "worst game" pick would have to be Airlock. Now there's a game with no redeeming qualities.