You Know You're Playing a Videogame When...

[Nz17]

...you die every few minutes.
...everything in your world is realistically-sized except the power-ups.
...there are actually power-ups in your world.

[Johnny_Rock]

... you keep running into invisible walls.
... the entire world speaks your native language fluently.

[Edmond Dantes]

...you're holding a controller.
...All the women are extremely young, good-looking and wear sexy outfits, even in cold environments where they should be dying of frostbite.

[treismac]

... you receive points rather than incarceration for killing people.
... being surrounded by zombies isn't that big of a deal.
... wrecking you car doesn't necessitate calling your insurance agent.
... your girlfriend has been kidnapped by a gang that you have to fight in order to get her back.
... you can hold your breath for ten minutes.

[SpaceHarrier]

... you carry an inventory of items eclipsing that of some warehouses even though you have no pockets

[Baloo]

Everything you say is just "....."

Your motley crew of a few friends manage to save the world and defeat large well-trained armies without fail.

[RP2A03]

... you eat a roasted turkey leg you find randomly lying on the ground and not only live to tell about it, but you also gain a nice health boost.

[Baloo]

... you eat a roasted turkey leg you find randomly lying on the ground and not only live to tell about it, but you also gain a nice health boost.

In the wall of an abandoned haunted castle nonetheless!

[Gameguy]

...all your base belongs to someone else.
...the president thanks you for saving him from ninjas.
...princesses actually talk to you.
...you can jump higher than your height.

[NYLatenite]

When trying to save the world, you still find the time to stop at an amusement park.

[QuickSciFi]

...when currency is found all over the floor...
...and in garbage cans...
...and in the air...
...and in the trees...
...and under rocks...
...and behind walls...
...and in chandeliers...
...and in the form of chests dropped by people, and animals, you kill...

[Kitsune Sniper]

... people don't complain when you go through their chests, drawers, closets or vases.

[Sabz5150]

... Earth, after several hundred years, has produced exactly ONE space fighter craft and it is deemed viable to pit it against an empire that has been building ships and weapons since about the time we discovered that "fire" thing.

[Icarus Moonsight]

...being set on fire or savagely assaulted by weapons is survivable while...
...touching water = instant death.

[Nz17]

...you never age.
...you never age except when aging is convenient for the plot.

[shinobimusashi]

...The Detroit Lions win the Super Bowl...

[ccovell]

...you come to life not in the real world, but in a training room, wherein your friends and family members insist on teaching you how to jump, walk, and speak before letting you out.

[Flack]

... you aren't afraid of fighting anyone.
... you get stronger (not weaker) from eating food that appears from trash cans.
... physically doubling your size by eating a mushroom doesn't freak you out.
... you don't get tired of walking/running.
... you randomly risk your life to complete quests given to you by strangers.
... you can save/restore.
... your first response when walking up to a stranger is to punch/kick/shoot them.
... you are the only person in the world chosen to do something.

When driving ...

... you floor it. All the time. Everywhere.
... taking a wide turn ends up in a fireball explosion.
... you whip the wheel around every corner.
... you drive with a joystick.
... you use the handbrake more than the real brakes.
... you don't care where the brakes are. You don't use 'em.
... your car magically gets fixed by magic. For free.
... your car doesn't get damaged when "rubbing paint".
... cars you hit don't spin wildly out of control.
... you can get away from cops.
... you drive an exotic sports car. Recklessly.
... your car has two speeds, "Low" and "High".
... you can repair your car by driving over a wrench.

[treismac]

... you find yourself running strictly on the X axis.
... there is quantifiable evidence that you are making progress in life.
... instead of losing teeth, you lose hit points when you lose a fight.

[The 1 2 P]

...the president thanks you for saving him from ninjas.

And offers you a hamburger afterwards.

....having relationships with multiple women/men/aliens is encouraged and rewarded
....you get to wear cool ass costumes on the 364 days of the year that aren't Halloween
....you get to complete the genocide of entire races without so much as a citation or verbal warning

[Sunnyvale]

... When a machine gun burst to the chest heals up after a few deep breaths
... When the damage done by the evil mushroom heals from a dip in the lake
... When your teammates don't shoot back when you're killing them
... When mid-air collusions result in a little smoke
... When you're humanity's last hope


... When your girlfriend is rolling her eyes:roll:

[Emperor Megas]

... people require you to PURCHASE from them the weapons you need to save their lives/world.

[Baloo]

When the shop owner in every single town is the same person!

[kupomogli]

... when just touching an enemy hurts you, sometimes even instant death.
... when drinking a SOFT potion restores you from a stone state, plus the fact that you can actually drink something while you're stone.

[Icarus Moonsight]

Chest-high walls, chest-high walls everywhere!

[NesGamer22m]

.... when you walk you make video game sound effects in your head to every step
... when you see someone they start throwing hammers at you

[123►Genei-Jin]

... you can choose your sex.
... you can save the world by wining a martial arts tournament.
... you can trow fireballs.

[The 1 2 P]

... you can choose your sex.

Thats no longer mutually exclusive to video games. It happens quite a lot in the world today, especially with dudes deciding they want to be chics.

[kupomogli]

... when you shoot someone in the head 20 times and they still don't die.
... when you can do the moonwalk up a flight of stairs.
... when a lot of great, good, decent, or even crappy music happens to constantly play wherever you go.
... when you get into a fight and different music starts playing.
... when giant birds or other animals replace vehicles and horses as transportation.

[Nz17]

...your partner dies, he steals your life, and then returns to life fit as a fiddle in the same area as you.
...ye cannot get ye flask no matter what you try.
...weapons and ammunition are abundant everywhere.
...weapons and ammunition are more abundant than toilet paper.
...a bathroom in a home is a rarity.
...you discard a weapon when its ammo is depleted. (Applies to movies too.)
...you have limitless gun fire regardless of the weapon.
...you can only have one gun but it is highly upgradable even beyond recognition.
...reloading is not needed, you just fire all your ammo until you run out.
...you must reload, and reloading requires a clip, but while you have unlimited clips, you have limited ammo. (Valve FPS's)
...all the spare bullets in your clips magically end up together in the finally clips instead of countless individual ones.
...you do not move like a human, but like a jumping tank.
...you can stay alive without breathing for as long as you like regardless of the environment.
...as a commander, you can knowingly send unacceptable scores of men to their death and yet not be court martialed nor dishonorably discharged, and men keep happily joining your unit in droves.
...you can do anything that requires you to have a gun in your hands but only those things.
...most of life's problems are solved by shooting.
...guns don't have kickback.
...exhaustion from exercise does not exist.
...there is an epidemic of kidnappings by leaders of villainous armies.
...said leaders only kidnap one person each.
...an enemy leader only sends his best fighters against you at regularly intervals and only one at a time instead of sending all of them against you immediately.
...the villain is always just one step ahead.
...a lethargic fat man can run faster than a super-sonic hero who spends all his time running when it is needed for the sake of a convenient escape.
...you hold your arms straight ahead of you with weapon drawn at all times.
...individual heroes are supreme in their area but when brought together in one place to compete or fight with one another they are somehow all balanced against everyone else with nobody having a particular advantage even in their specialty skill.

[Haoie]

Stuff becomes more enjoyable. Seriously.

[Queen Of The Felines]

...you automatically know how to use any weapon, including artillery.
...you also automatically know how drive/fly/sail any vehicle including jet planes and military helicopters.
...common transportation is via mine carts.
...there are crates in every goddamn room.
...if you run out of cash just repeatedly leave the room and come back in.
...you heal faster than Wolverine.
...you can repeatedly spend $10,000 or more without worrying about your bank account.
...smashing your head or fists against hard objects doesn't shatter your bones.
...the bad guys are all robots because hurting humans is wrong.
...you can defy physics by changing your direction while in midair.

[Zama]

...you get buried under tons of tons of melted steel and walk away with a simple headache :)

[SpaceHarrier]

...your official cause of death is "ran out of time"

[Baloo]

Whenever you get hurt, no matter how bad, all you do is flinch.

[Frankie_Says_Relax]

Everyone in the audience at sporting events looks completely identical (except for hair and shirt colors).

Having sex with prostitutes IMPROVES your health.

[Gameguy]

...school aged children are more capable of saving the world than adults.

[Smashed Brother]

...a winner is you!
...you can juggle opponents your size or larger in the air for half an hour
...spanking women over your knee launches them 20 feet into the nearest wall
...the world draws itself in-front of you whenever you turn

[Icarus Moonsight]

...health care is commodity-based exchange and cost is negligibly low to affordable.
...you can buy medicine that heals and revives instantly, that anyone can use on anyone else with the same effects regardless of circumstance or if administered by a medic class or the axe toting barbarian who's chest size in inches dramatically dwarfs their IQ.
...resurrections for sale, in every town, 1000GP.
...death is a forced finality, only if it's required by the plot.
...monarchs, theocrats and politicians are limited to either near perfect benign dictators or directly murderous, openly corrupt and overtly evil. Nothing in between exists.

[aryoshi]

...you jump onto bugs like Mario does Goombas to squish them.
...you collect bottlecaps.

[Robocop2]

...Any time you're getting frisky a series of button commands pop up around you
...if you're in a conversation with someone a list of preset responses comes up in front of you while they patiently wait for you to select one.
...every barrel that you see could potentially explode if you punch it

[Frankie_Says_Relax]

... bullets travel slow enough for you to duck, dodge or jump over.

[thom_m]

...simply moving around requires you to jump A LOT. Jumping is vital to your existence.
...there's PIZZAAAA POWEEER!!
...animals colors are weird. Blue hedgehogs, pink equidnas...
...floating yellow boxes with question marks are your primary way of acquiring stuff.

[AceAerosmith]

....when you can jump off a cliff, land safely on the ledge below, and go into a cave to find more lives.
....when you can smash a zombie in the head with a sledgehammer that eventually wears out.
....when you can speak clear, fluent English even though your mouth only moves one way and the lips form no shape.
....when you can randomly stop a car in a shitty neighborhood, pull the driver out, take their car and all they do is a little complaining.

[Smashed Brother]

....you know your opponent is near defeat because he/she starts flashing