Crappiest game that you own?

[WelcomeToTheNextLevel]

By "crappiest" I mean a game that's just low quality. Something that is critically panned, turds that are fodder for AVGN reviews.

I have my fair share of shit in my collection. Some of these games I got BECAUSE they are such epic turds.

Some of my smelliest games in no particular order:

Friday the 13th (NES)
Plumbers Don't Wear Ties (3DO) 75 bucks in 2011, but I went into this KNOWING it was donkey shit, and got it to collect.
Shaq Fu (Genesis)
Spawn the Eternal (PS1)
Powerpuff Girls: Chemical X-Traction (N64)
Sonic the Hedgehog 2006 (Xbox 360)... this one was 60 bucks new... OUCH!
Tomcat Alley (Sega CD)
Pac-Man (Atari 2600)
Super Pitfall (NES)
Bill and Ted's Excellent Video Game Adventure (NES)
...and many more. And yes, I do have ET for Atari 2600, but it misses the "shit" category. It falls in the "mediocre" category.

I'd say my biggest turd is Plumbers Don't Wear Ties. It's the only game I have that's on the highest level of AVGN's "Shit Scale", a 6-level scale that AVGN introduced in his Darkwing Duck (TG16) episode. (For the record, I don't have Darkwing Duck for TG-16). In a nutshell, the "Shit Scale" goes like this, and remember that this is AVGN's descriptions:

Level 1: "Debateably bad. Somewhat good games, with serious flaws." Simon's Quest (NES) was in this level.
Level 2: "High level of shit. Possible to play, but no one in their right mind would." He put Dick Tracy, Super Pitfall, and Top Gun (all NES) on this level. These games are pretty bad.
Level 3: "Very high category." He put most LJN games on this level, as well as the CD-i Zelda games.
Level 4: "The severe zone." He put Action 52, Dark Castle (Genesis/CD-i) and the Tiger handheld games here.
Level 5 was just for Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, and AVGN fervently hates this one, as he references it in many episodes.
Level 6: "MAJOR CODE RED." This is the level that Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing was on. Plumbers Don't Wear Ties was on this level with it.

[JSoup]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3G2rTbTleo

[retroguy]

Celebrity Deathmatch for the PS1, Ghostbusters for the NES and Pac Man for the Atari 2600 are probably the worst ones I have. I have Bugs Bunny's Birthday Blowout and Crazy Castle, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Dick Tracy and Who Framed Roger Rabbit, but I don't think they're bad games at all. Misunderstood? Yes. Unfairly excoriated by people who've probably only seen stuff on youtube and never actually played them? Definitely. But bad? Nah.

[Tanooki]

I've fairly well culled the turds from my shelves through all the selling off of things. I have some people illogically pick on because they don't know better like Silent Service on NES, Ultraman on SNES, Bionic Commando Elite Forces on GBC, and Sim City 2000 on GBA. In each case someone I've seen snark on them before, but at worst they're more or less just misunderstood or just mediocre.

Silent Service I've seen called out the most, but most don't realize the depth of the game and that it needs 2 controllers or you can't play it right and it has issues on one pad alone. Ultraman was just a mediocre fighter, but if you're into the rubber monster Japanese thing it's actually pretty decent albeit short. Bionic Commando that one is like the old game, but has some odd sequences with sniping and stuff and has a very nasty difficulty level in part with it saving your lives. Sim City 2000 on GBA is good, it's just slow, and lacks the underground garbage of the PC version which to me makes it better as it's like an isometric original Sim City. None of them have actual damning bad design decisions, control problems, or lame bugs.

[Graham Mitchell]

I love shitty games. The more broken the better. Here's some of mine:

Ikki for the famicom

Salamander for MSX

Super pitfall nes

Cruis'n usa for n64 (promised so much and delivered garbage)

Fighting Masters, Genesis

Bokosuka Wars, famicom (this ones the winner, by a long shot)

Lose Runner: the lost caverns for pc-engine

Sidearms for tg-16 (1 player only and it's boring as hell. )

RaiDen for the jaguar

Slaughter Sport on Genesis (known as Mondus Fight Palace on other platforms)

1942 for NES (graphics issues aside, it's boring as hell).

I could go on and on. I seek these out. They crack me up. It shocks me that some of these Games ever got greenlighted.

[SilverWolf9000]

Sonic the Hedgehog... and not the good one either.

I remember being so excited when I was younger because I was like "Oh my God! THREE hedgehogs?! AGHHH!" (I was a special kid...)

I got it at K-Mart for around $20. Such a waste...

I probably have more but I cannot remember any more off the top of my head.

[Aussie2B]

I've never really understood the mentality of buying games because they're infamously bad. Seems like a waste of money to me, plus you're setting yourself for disliking the game because you're expecting it to be bad. Don't get me wrong, I've bought tons of games that don't have good reputations, but that's because I want to genuinely give them a shot. I don't care how widely lambasted a game is, there's still a chance that I may like it (just as I might dislike a game that's extremely popular). Anyway, my most hated game in my collection is probably Bubsy 3D. I'm sure I own others that are even more broken on a basic, technical level, but I'd still rather play those and laugh at how pathetic they are than subject myself to Bubsy 3D.

[Graham Mitchell]

I've never really understood the mentality of buying games because they're infamously bad. Seems like a waste of money to me, plus you're setting yourself for disliking the game because you're expecting it to be bad. Don't get me wrong, I've bought tons of games that don't have good reputations, but that's because I want to genuinely give them a shot. I don't care how widely lambasted a game is, there's still a chance that I may like it (just as I might dislike a game that's extremely popular). Anyway, my most hated game in my collection is probably Bubsy 3D. I'm sure I own others that are even more broken on a basic, technical level, but I'd still rather play those and laugh at how pathetic they are than subject myself to Bubsy 3D.

When you get a group of sarcastic people together you can have a pretty good time ripping the game to shreds. Alcohol helps. Also, if it has gratuitous nudity (ie-the yakyuken special) it's an extra plus.

Haven't you ever watched a total piece of shit movie and found it entertaining to watch the train wreck?

Eh, to each his own.

[goldenband]

Some of the games mentioned are actually very good games (Friday the 13th for NES), while others are widely misunderstood (Bokosuka Wars, which is perfectly decent for what it is & when it was released).

Pac-Man is a bad port but a perfectly playable game, and Tomcat Alley is one of the better FMV games on Sega CD -- you should try Supreme Warrior or Slam City if you want to see how low the FMV library could sink.

I also like Plumbers Don't Wear Ties, inasmuch as it's funny as hell. :D It may be a bad "game" -- really, more of a visual novel -- but I got more entertainment out of it than plenty of "good" games.

Anyway, what's the worst game I own? Probably some PlayStation shovelware I haven't even tried yet, or one of the RCA Studio II games my wife inherited from her dad (no console). But as for games I've actually played, I'd nominate:

Hockey/Soccer (Odyssey^2) < though I sold it; truly terrible game though
Andre Agassi Tennis (Genesis)
Onslaught (Genesis)
Fist of the North Star (Game Boy)
Race Drivin' (SNES)
Shadow: War of Succession (3DO)

I'm sure there are others worth nominating, but these stand out. Shadow: War of Succession is especially horrendous -- it's a would-be Mortal Kombat clone that looks, sounds, and plays like a damaged Flash game ca. 1999. As for Onslaught, it's barely even a game.

[Aussie2B]

When you get a group of sarcastic people together you can have a pretty good time ripping the game to shreds. Alcohol helps. Also, if it has gratuitous nudity (ie-the yakyuken special) it's an extra plus.

Haven't you ever watched a total piece of shit movie and found it entertaining to watch the train wreck?

Eh, to each his own.

Oh, I definitely have fun laughing at bad games with friends, and MST3K is great too. I just don't decide that a game is bad before I've even bought/played it. Like some of the games mentioned in the topic thus far I think are actually fun, and I think it would be sad had I bought them already convinced they were going to be awful and then my view of them would be a self-fulfilling prophecy of course. So I try to go into every game with an open mind and hope that it'll be something I'll enjoy, but if not, then hopefully it'll at least be good comedy fodder.

[Emperor Megas]

I'm really not sure, honestly, but I'm fairly positive whatever it is it's something for the 3DO or Jaguar.

[goldenband]

I'm really not sure, honestly, but I'm fairly positive whatever it is it's something for the 3DO or Jaguar.

The Philips CD-i, RCA Studio II, and Game.com would like to have a word...

[Graham Mitchell]

Oh, I definitely have fun laughing at bad games with friends, and MST3K is great too. I just don't decide that a game is bad before I've even bought/played it. Like some of the games mentioned in the topic thus far I think are actually fun, and I think it would be sad had I bought them already convinced they were going to be awful and then my view of them would be a self-fulfilling prophecy of course. So I try to go into every game with an open mind and hope that it'll be something I'll enjoy, but if not, then hopefully it'll at least be good comedy fodder.

Right! And I think a lot of universally panned games (star voyager, cybernoid, deadly towers) are quite good if played properly.

Oh, and the game that gets the most play if anything in my house is the yakyuken special. Something about strip Rock Paper Scissors against 90s Japanese girls is a crowd pleaser. They all look so uncomfortable, like they have to do it to pay off their fathers gambling debt to prevent him from losing a finger.

[AdamAnt316]

Probably Bible Adventures for the NES. Pretty much the only game I've bought specifically because of hearing how cheesy it was. Bought it from a local collector fairly cheap, and had it signed by the AVGN at the screening he held for the trailer for his movie. :D

[Graham Mitchell]

Some of the games mentioned are actually very good games (Friday the 13th for NES), while others are widely misunderstood (Bokosuka Wars, which is perfectly decent for what it is & when it was released).

Pac-Man is a bad port but a perfectly playable game, and Tomcat Alley is one of the better FMV games on Sega CD -- you should try Supreme Warrior or Slam City if you want to see how low the FMV library could sink.

I also like Plumbers Don't Wear Ties, inasmuch as it's funny as hell. :D It may be a bad "game" -- really, more of a visual novel -- but I got more entertainment out of it than plenty of "good" games.

.

To me, The mark of a good game is how well it ages. If you can pick it up 10 years later and find it enjoyable and aesthetically pleasing, it's a winner. But stuff like Bokosuka wars or 1942 for the nes do not remain fun once the novelty wears off, and the technology is so thoroughly eclipsed by newer games that it seems pointless to play those games.

For what it's worth, super pitfall actually holds up.

[goldenband]

But stuff like Bokosuka wars or 1942 for the nes do not remain fun once the novelty wears off, and the technology is so thoroughly eclipsed by newer games that it seems pointless to play those games.

There are definitely genres where I buy that argument, like early flight simulators and military copter games, many of which are now pretty hard to swallow. But I don't think the last 20 years or so of tech have too much impact on what Bokosuka Wars or 1942 were trying to do, since there are other strategy games and shmups from the era that still hold up wonderfully today.

(I also find myself repulsed by a lot of the aesthetic changes that've happened since 1995 and, especially, since 2005, so I often actively prefer older platforms and technology. Same thing with movies and music, FWIW.)

For me, the main test of a good game is simply whether I enjoy & look forward to playing it. No matter how good the graphics may be, or how loudly reviewers insist that it's the greatest thing ever, a game I don't enjoy isn't a good game -- and a game with horrible graphics and play control that I do enjoy is a good game.

[Flojomojo]

Cruis'n usa for n64 (promised so much and delivered garbage)

I paid full price for that at launch, which I think was $69.99 in 1996 bucks ($106.08 today) and while it was stupidly spend, I enjoyed the game for what it was.

We didn't have nearly as much to choose from in those days, and new games always cost more than forty bucks. Technical competence wasn't always a given, and with the state of game reviews in those days, it's only fair that most stores had reasonable return policies for garbage games. I wonder what the minimum age is for someone remembering buying something based on box art?

When people complain about trashy mobile games, I want to shake them and tell them about Hover Strike on the Jaguar. When people complain that said mobile games are "too expensive" at $4, I want to tell them about Kasumi Ninja at $70 in 1996 bucks (still $106.08 today).

There has been and always will be garbage in every medium, but I think the crap filters have gotten a lot better with digital distribution, competitive pricing, and information everywhere.

[Emperor Megas]

The Philips CD-i, RCA Studio II, and Game.com would like to have a word...I don't own any of those systems, fortunately.

[Gentlegamer]

Silent Debuggers, TG-16

[bb_hood]

Crappiest game that I own... hmm thats a tough question considering I dont own any Sega Master System games.
Ill have to get back to you.

[celerystalker]

If I'm not being unnecessarily mean and picking on learning games... probably Bomb Squad for Intellivision, Alien Invaders for Emerson Arcadia 2001, or Zombie Dinos from Planet Zeltoid for CD-i.

[A.C. Sativa]

Does PDWT even count as a video game? There's no video outside of the intro and no real game either, it's more like one of those choose your adventure books on a disc.

Anyway, I don't bother buying crappy games for the older systems I own, and if I end up buying a shitty game for my 360 or Wii (Other M, I'm looking at you here) I return it. I don't buy games just for the sake of collecting them, I buy them to play them.

[Atarileaf]

I don't own any crappy games, at least they aren't crappy to me. Since I only kept games I enjoy playing all the games in my collection are fun to me. I know many will dump on 2600 pacman and donkey kong but I enjoy both games for what they are.

[goldenband]

Does PDWT even count as a video game? There's no video outside of the intro and no real game either, it's more like one of those choose your adventure books on a disc.

Yep, like I said above, PDWT is basically a visual novel in softcore slideshow format. It's a very common genre in Japan, and the format wouldn't be unfamiliar at all to many gamers...but obviously the content is a different story!

Still, it made me laugh, so it'll never get hate in my book. "You pea-brained preppy, you vain, Volvo-driving vulva..."

[Nathan Dunsmore]

Nickelodeon Party Blast - Gamecube
Carmageddon 64 - N64
Iron and Blood - PS1

[Steve W]

Everybody who bring up Pac-Man on the Atari 2600 apparently don't know there's far worse games for the system. Any games by Mythicon (Firefly, Starfox, Sorcerer) are several notches below Pac-Man. Racquetball and Skeet Shoot were stinkers too. Got 'em all.

[Tanooki]

I understand that complaint. Sure it was ugly, and I think it didn't follow the logic even close, not that the NES one was a charmer either, but it didn't suck. Maybe for Pac-Man purists of the arcade it does, but it's the 2600 of all things, can't be too picky. :) E.T. gets ragged on a lot, never played it, but I do see some people stand up for it.

[Zing]

I don't own crappy games, but the worst I do have is Looney Tunes Racing for the PSone. Low framerate and janky gameplay makes it a low quality racing game.

[Tanooki]

I got my copy of Street Fighter II for GB in the mail today, that one gets villified by the SF2 pro-snobs because it doesn't shape up. It's actually pretty good despite not having Vega, Dhalsim and E Honda included. Sure it's not some 60fps highly animated masterpiece, but it plays well enough once you adapt to the 2 buttons and the format.

[TheBenenator]

Crappiest ones I own and have played: Pacman and E.T. for the 2600, both of which I'd agree on being only mediocre....though E.T. is at the bottom of that part of the scale. :rolleyes: Wouldn't have bought them myself, but I kinda inherited them. I've also got Martian Gothic for the PS1 and some other budget games for that system, but I haven't played them yet.

I don't have the money to be intentionally buying bad games unless they're REALLY cheap. :| I might make an exception for The Fifth Element on PS1, though -- I liked the cheesiness in the movie well enough, and the gameplay felt only mediocre to me, as far as I played it.

[Dormond]

Probably Jaws or Ninja Turtles on the NES.

[Steven]

I haven't played my whole collection yet, but so far I have Ultraman on the SNES ranked lowest (I gave it a 3.0 out of 10) followed by Home Improvement (3.5/10)

I hated Battle Blaze, CapAm and the Avengers and Dracula (all SNES), and traded those off years ago. They're probably in that 2.0-2.5 territory. I don't mind keeping bad games especially if there's some nostalgia value, but terrible games I cannot stand having in my library.

[Tanooki]

Perhaps it's my enjoyment of terrible rubber monster movies, or because I loved the translated show that game was based on that ran late Saturday mornings in 1991-93ish time period but I really dug Ultraman. The controls worked, the monsters were varied just enough, and it was SF2-lite on control but it's no masterpiece but I think a 6.5-7 would be fair given the year it came out and what it was up against. Super Godzilla and the NES games were disappointments to me because of those crappy Conflict game type grids and weirdness, it just wasn't a good flow like Godzilla on the SuperCDs for the Duo/PCE system as that thing was awesome.

[Bloodreign]

Hydlide on the NES, a game a friend gave me, along with a copy of Ghosts N Goblins when my copy of Super C I loaned him, got stolen along with other games he had. He left his backpack outside on his bike like a goof (long time ago, so I got over it and eventually got another copy of Super C), then breaks the news to me at school the next day. He brought those other 2 games to me, GnG I liked, Hydlide after I fired it up the first time, I abhorred it and cursed it's name. I found out later it was an older game than it's NES release, it should have just never been released on the NES period.

Funny story, he's the one high school buddy I still hang with today, trying to talk him out of some import PS1 Capcom and SNK fighters he has and never plays anymore. He won't budge.

[FieryReign]

Tak the Great Juju Challenge. Found this shit in my closet recently. Not sure how it got there since I haven't had a ps2 in ages. Came across some other random junk like Final Fantasy 5 for ps1 and Grandia but it's missing the 1st disc. Also a Riven instruction manual. Weird.

[Tanooki]

Hydlide on the NES, a game a friend gave me, along with a copy of Ghosts N Goblins when my copy of Super C I loaned him, got stolen along with other games he had. He left his backpack outside on his bike like a goof (long time ago, so I got over it and eventually got another copy of Super C), then breaks the news to me at school the next day. He brought those other 2 games to me, GnG I liked, Hydlide after I fired it up the first time, I abhorred it and cursed it's name. I found out later it was an older game than it's NES release, it should have just never been released on the NES period.

Funny story, he's the one high school buddy I still hang with today, trying to talk him out of some import PS1 Capcom and SNK fighters he has and never plays anymore. He won't budge.

Remind him he lost your game and compensated you with Hydlide, that should be reason enough to owe you a big favor. :D

[stealthrush]

Iridium Runners for PS2

[Nebagram]

Like probably everyone on this forum, I've got a copy of Pac-Man for the 2600, but I also own a game which I have a special hatred for, which is Star Wars: Masters of Teras Kasi. Basically 'Star Wars attempts a one-on-one fighter' that is more painful than watching the entire prequel trilogy and eliminating everything except the Jar-Jar and Jake Lloyd scenes.

[Guntz]

So, is it commonly accepted that Star Wars: Masters of Teras Kasi is the worst LucasArts game ever?

[Tanooki]

Now that one I've heard before. I've also seen the GBC version of Yoda Stories thrown around a lot too, but I don't think they made that one like they did on PC (where it and an Indiana Jones version called Desktop Adventures) is actually pretty decent for a point and click mouse game from the pre-win95 era.

[Leo_A]

Pac-Man and E.T. for the 2600 isn't even in contention. Like had been said, they can actually be enjoyed and the VCS has far worse choices that those.

My personal selection would probably Anubis II for the Wii.

[Gentlegamer]

Pac-Man and E.T. for the 2600 isn't even in contention. Like had been said, they can actually be enjoyed and the VCS has far worse choices that those.

Yeah, but those two certainly could be the worst games a person owns.

[bb_hood]

I never understand why so many people defend E.T..
Sure its a 'playable' game and there might be worse games on the 2600, but in my opinion E.T. is really bad.
E.T. is just super boring.

[Gamevet]

I never understand why so many people defend E.T..
Sure its a 'playable' game and there might be worse games on the 2600, but in my opinion E.T. is really bad.
E.T. is just super boring.

You should try Video Chess on the VCS. The computer can take several minutes just to make a move.

[RP2A03]

You should try Video Chess on the VCS. The computer can take several minutes just to make a move.

That's not bad, that's realism!

[goldenband]

Several minutes? On the hardest difficulty setting, try up to 20+ hours!

Given what meager hardware resource it had to work with, though, it plays a surprisingly respectable game. Nothing amazing, and the Intellivision game USCF Chess is considerably more polished, but Atari Video Chess never cheated or crashed on me (unlike USCF Chess, which has a reproducible bug where it simply refuses to move).

[Gentlegamer]

My father was into VCS Chess.

I preferred playing Tank Pong.

[Leo_A]

Yeah, but those two certainly could be the worst games a person owns.

They don't have much of a VCS collection if they are. I'd much rather play these than quite a few other games.

[BetaWolf]

I think Aero-Guage for N64 is the worst I own. I don't particularly dislike it, though.

[Gamevet]

Several minutes? On the hardest difficulty setting, try up to 20+ hours!

Given what meager hardware resource it had to work with, though, it plays a surprisingly respectable game. Nothing amazing, and the Intellivision game USCF Chess is considerably more polished, but Atari Video Chess never cheated or crashed on me (unlike USCF Chess, which has a reproducible bug where it simply refuses to move).

I haven't played it too much. I just remember having to leave the room for a considerable amount of time, when the computer seemed to have froze up in deep thought; It may very well have been over 20 minutes. It was way too long of a wait for me to get any enjoyment out of it.

[Az]

Crappiest game that I own... hmm thats a tough question considering I dont own any Sega Master System games.

But I was an SMS kid... *snif*

[M.Buster2184]

The first game that comes to mind is Pac-Land for the TurboGrafx-16. What were they thinking when they made this. The controls were not good. I remember playing with a friend and being stuck trying to jump over a pool forever it feels. Though time stands still when you play this game so it's hard to say. I'm fairly certain Pac-Land stole a bit of my soul that day.

[celerystalker]

The first game that comes to mind is Pac-Land for the TurboGrafx-16. What were they thinking when they made this. The controls were not good. I remember playing with a friend and being stuck trying to jump over a pool forever it feels. Though time stands still when you play this game so it's hard to say. I'm fairly certain Pac-Land stole a bit of my soul that day.

You can change the controls to a traditional scheme in the options and it becomes downright playable. Maybe even kinda fun.

[bb_hood]

But I was an SMS kid... *snif*

Sorry, I couldnt help myself.

[Niku-Sama]

was pacland the isometric one where you couldn't see much of the maze and you could jump over the ghosts?
I remember there being a lot of legos in it too.

that could be a hallucination because it was a game that was usually rented for me when I was sick.
man I still remember the hallucinations when I was sick while I was a kid oh 20+ years ago and it really freaking me out, some of it just makes me have the feels about who knows what, they still baffle me

[Tron 2.0]

was pacland the isometric one where you couldn't see much of the maze and you could jump over the ghosts?
I remember there being a lot of legos in it too.

that could be a hallucination because it was a game that was usually rented for me when I was sick.
man I still remember the hallucinations when I was sick while I was a kid oh 20+ years ago and it really freaking me out, some of it just makes me have the feels about who knows what, they still baffle me
You're thinking of pac-mania that had a isometric view.Pac-Land was a 2D platformer which was originally a arcade game,ported to the TG16.

[M.Buster2184]

You can change the controls to a traditional scheme in the options and it becomes downright playable. Maybe even kinda fun.

Maybe I'll have to give it another try. I vividly remember not enjoying it.

[evildead2099]

I own a bad port of a pretty decent game (Revolution X, ported from the Arcade to the PC), but the worst original game that I've owned is one of the first games I ever got: Mickey Mousecapade for the NES. Not a horrible game, but it definitely has serious flaws.

I also own Duke Nukem Forever for the PC. Again, not a bad game, but it is disappointing. It could have been so much better if it didn't aspire to be a COD clone (Linear level design, regenerating health, etc.).

[FieryReign]

Not even sure if it's crappy but it's a weird one. Farming Simulator 14 for 3ds somehow made it into my archives. Never bothered to give it a crack. Never bothered trading it in either, as it would probably be worth a quarter.

[JSoup]

Not even sure if it's crappy but it's a weird one. Farming Simulator 14 for 3ds somehow made it into my archives. Never bothered to give it a crack. Never bothered trading it in either, as it would probably be worth a quarter.

Then how do you know it's bad? The reviews are fairly favorable and I recall the Steam version being popular streaming material.

[celerystalker]

Maybe I'll have to give it another try. I vividly remember not enjoying it.

My initial impressions were the same. It didn't become a new favorite or anything with the better controls, but I like it more than I dislike it now.

[stlgamer75]

Just going off memory, these are some of the games from my more played systems that I distinctly recall not enjoying:

Atari 2600: Custer's Revenge - only redeeming factor is curiosity being a Mystique game
NES: X-Men - one of worst LJN games & I don't mind Jaws and Friday the 13th
Where's Waldo - awful concept for a video game
NES/SMS: California Games - I loved this on PC but can't stand any console version
TG16: Takin' it to the Hoop
Jaguar: Cybermorph - so boring
32X: Moto Cross - ugly and unplayable

[shadowman]

Its probably either one of the 8 bit computer Capcom ports, or a Marvel licensed property...

Final Fight for the Spectrum seems really bad, almost unplayable the last time I tried to play it. Controls were terribly unresponsive and the game ran dog slow. Only impressive thing about that game were the sprites.
Street Fighter 2 for the Spectrum. What do you really expect? There was no way the arcade game could be squeezed onto the Spectrum and the controls were obviously going to be terrible.

Marvel stuff -
Spider-Man 3 (Gameboy). Its just terrible. The first level has you punching guys on skateboards, and I was bored before I even finshed that level. The controls sucked so I've never actually managed to finish the game either. I mean, Spider-Man 2 for the GB is bad, but I kind of appreciated that they tried to do a Metroid style progression system on that game, and I did eventually finish it, it was annoying but still not as bad as this game!

Fantastic 4 (Playstation). Yeah, just plain bad. Looks terrible because they used polygon graphics and the gameplay had no depth what so ever for a 2D scrolling fighter. Plus for some reason you could fight Ice Man in a bonus game. You know, that X-Man who is a good guy and probably has nothing against the F4 unless the Human Torch flew close to him once?

Hulk Pantheon Saga (Playstation). Just awful. Awful controls that made platforming sections a hassle, awful combat that made fighting a hassle, and a terrible roster of characters that were a really poor fit for a Hulk game (I know its based on a comic, and Maestro rocks, but this game was just awful when it came to telling the story. Get Ultimate Destruction on the Xbox instead).

Wolverine (Snes). This one probably takes the cake since I owned it for so long but never finished it. I lost the game and then repurchased it down the line (it wasn't the cheapest game to buy again either). And I wonder if I "lost" the game or disposed of it. Its bloody awful. Controls suck, combat sucks, story sucks, level design sucks... you get the point. At the end of the game there is a terrible maze level and the bosses were just boring to fight against. That and no checkpoints meant that if you died you went straight back to the title screen. At least passwords exist! Oh, and where the hell was Sabretooth, you know, Wolvies most iconic bad guy?

[Az]

32X: Moto Cross - ugly and unplayable

I'm a 32x fanboy and that game has zero redeeming qualities. I debated and debated and finally got it new for $40 at Software Etc, probably the last 32x game I bought at retail and then the Playstation launched. Didn't see a whole lot of media coverage but fell for the long winded score that Halverson gave it in Diehard Gamefan, 75/100 I think.

Totally, totally unplayable. Racing graphics look like shit, physics are garbage, the whole Road Rash punching thing is stupid as hell, and every single race starts with everyone jammed into a goverment cheese handout line. Even the digitized still shots of the trophy girls ended up being completely covered up from their original bikini attire.

Sad thing is this was in development prior to the 32x even launching and ended up being a turd, and on top of that it is the only game I know of where the 32x video output is the *entire* screen; not just the sprites or background or some other small part. In game the Gensis graphics are not used at all unlike say Knuckles, MK2, or Cosmic Carnage where the limited Genny video output makes up a huge chunk of what you see. That fact makes you think this would be at least one of the best looking games but it looks and plays like dogshit.

[Steve W]

Checkered Flag on the Atari Jaguar is another stinker. The idea behind the game is sound, but the stunningly bad control scheme makes it insanely frustrating. Unless you get off on bouncing off every guardrail and track wall.

Sword of Sodan on the Genesis is a steaming pile. I have to wonder about the sanity of people who design and program these things. And worse, it was a port of a terrible computer game that never should have been ported to anything.

Charge N' Blast, Wild Metal, MagForce Racing and Urban Chaos on the Dreamcast were all flaming bags of dog poop. I'd rather play weak junk like Soul Fighter or POD: Speedzone before I'd ever have the desire to play those games again.

[stlgamer75]

I'm a 32x fanboy and that game has zero redeeming qualities. I debated and debated and finally got it new for $40 at Software Etc, probably the last 32x game I bought at retail and then the Playstation launched. Didn't see a whole lot of media coverage but fell for the long winded score that Halverson gave it in Diehard Gamefan, 75/100 I think.

Totally, totally unplayable. Racing graphics look like shit, physics are garbage, the whole Road Rash punching thing is stupid as hell, and every single race starts with everyone jammed into a goverment cheese handout line. Even the digitized still shots of the trophy girls ended up being completely covered up from their original bikini attire.

Sad thing is this was in development prior to the 32x even launching and ended up being a turd, and on top of that it is the only game I know of where the 32x video output is the *entire* screen; not just the sprites or background or some other small part. In game the Gensis graphics are not used at all unlike say Knuckles, MK2, or Cosmic Carnage where the limited Genny video output makes up a huge chunk of what you see. That fact makes you think this would be at least one of the best looking games but it looks and plays like dogshit.

I assumed I wasn't alone in my disdain for Moto Cross. It's fucking atrocious.

[celerystalker]

Checkered Flag on the Atari Jaguar is another stinker. The idea behind the game is sound, but the stunningly bad control scheme makes it insanely frustrating. Unless you get off on bouncing off every guardrail and track wall.

Sword of Sodan on the Genesis is a steaming pile. I have to wonder about the sanity of people who design and program these things. And worse, it was a port of a terrible computer game that never should have been ported to anything.

Charge N' Blast, Wild Metal, MagForce Racing and Urban Chaos on the Dreamcast were all flaming bags of dog poop. I'd rather play weak junk like Soul Fighter or POD: Speedzone before I'd ever have the desire to play those games again.

Checkered Flag hurts feelings. It's such a shoddy game.

[SparTonberry]

Sword of Sodan on the Genesis is a steaming pile. I have to wonder about the sanity of people who design and program these things. And worse, it was a port of a terrible computer game that never should have been ported to anything.

It takes THREE MINUTES drawing the high-score screen (like anybody is going to see anything but the defaults).

I don't know if that's more sad than Ikari Warriors II (NES)' 4-minute long 4-screen prologue.

[Gameguy]

Sword of Sodan on the Genesis is a steaming pile. I have to wonder about the sanity of people who design and program these things. And worse, it was a port of a terrible computer game that never should have been ported to anything.
It's been awhile since I've seen Sword of Sodomy mentioned anywhere. It's still been too soon to be reminded of this game again, but it does fit this thread perfectly.

[Steve W]

I think I saw a few screenshots and a preview for Sword of Sodan for the Amiga, and I was really interested in it. But by then the US Amiga market was shriveling up, and I couldn't find a copy.

I bought a copy of the Genesis game several years back, remembering how nice the game looked in the old Amiga mag and I was finally getting a chance to play it. And... that didn't work out, obviously. A few minutes in and I feel like my soul is being torn out of my chest. What a letdown, waiting all those years only to find out the game's a dog.

[MetalFRO]

My collection has become quite large recently, so it might not be the absolute worst game I own at this point, but the one that always comes to mind is Earth Defense, aka The Earth Defend. It's an unlicensed Sega Genesis shoot-em-up that is poorly designed, and has just terrible everything. The music is totally forgettable, the graphics are boring and ultra repetitive, the gameplay is lacking, the power-up system is flawed, the enemies take way too many shots to take down in most cases, and the enemy wave design is also lazy. Everything about the game screams "amateurish". I wrote a review of this for the 1st "Review A Bad Game Day" event in 2012:

http://metalfroreview.blogspot.com/2012/08/game-on-earth-defensethe-earth-defend.html

[Graham Mitchell]

My collection has become quite large recently, so it might not be the absolute worst game I own at this point, but the one that always comes to mind is Earth Defense, aka The Earth Defend. It's an unlicensed Sega Genesis shoot-em-up that is poorly designed, and has just terrible everything. The music is totally forgettable, the graphics are boring and ultra repetitive, the gameplay is lacking, the power-up system is flawed, the enemies take way too many shots to take down in most cases, and the enemy wave design is also lazy. Everything about the game screams "amateurish". I wrote a review of this for the 1st "Review A Bad Game Day" event in 2012:

http://metalfroreview.blogspot.com/2012/08/game-on-earth-defensethe-earth-defend.html

I have that game. It's an abortion. I've played for 5 minutes.

[PizzaKat]

M.u.s.c.l.e.

[celerystalker]

My collection has become quite large recently, so it might not be the absolute worst game I own at this point, but the one that always comes to mind is Earth Defense, aka The Earth Defend. It's an unlicensed Sega Genesis shoot-em-up that is poorly designed, and has just terrible everything. The music is totally forgettable, the graphics are boring and ultra repetitive, the gameplay is lacking, the power-up system is flawed, the enemies take way too many shots to take down in most cases, and the enemy wave design is also lazy. Everything about the game screams "amateurish". I wrote a review of this for the 1st "Review A Bad Game Day" event in 2012:

http://metalfroreview.blogspot.com/2012/08/game-on-earth-defensethe-earth-defend.html

The first time I played Earth Defense Force, I loathed it. It took over ten years for me to come back to it after the first time, especially having first played it hot on the heels of MUSHA and Phelios. Coming back to it later, I enjoyed it much more. Yeah, it's a mess, but it actually is pretty clever in how it likes to steer you into traps, cornering you with bullets and then sending a formation up your ass from the bottom corner. I was impressed by how much the game's design seemed to account for typical player decisions. There are loads of better shooters on the Genesis, but I've played way, way worse games.

MUSCLE, though... totally agree. The Super Famicom sequel, Dirty Challenger, is ass as well.

[kupomogli]

Traded my Atari and 50+ games back when I was a kid for some NES games. In hindsight it was stupid, but back then the games were worth $.25 a piece at flea markets and as a young kid I didn't know any better.

When it comes to consoles I still own, NES and later, I only buy games that I enjoy and will keep, so for older stuff emulation helps. I do still have some crap I haven't given away, and you can't help with new games. Just today I've bought and played the worst game I've played since the SNES. It's a fighting game, and I'd put this garbage alongside the magnificent quality of Rise of the Robots and Shaq Fu. I know I've only had it just a day, but the game is seriously that bad. There's no making this up.

The game I'm speaking of is J Stars Victory Vs +. The bad thing about this is that the DS game Jump Ultimate Stars was such a great game. I imported Jump Ultimate Stars and played it so much that I've hit 99:59:59, with over 3000 online wins and 1000 losses. Unless you collect everything, including games like the above listed Rise of the Robots or Shaq Fu, I'd recommend against ever purchasing this game for no matter what cost you see it for.

I'd say the other worst game I own is Wheel of Fortune for the NES. As a kid, I was at a video store, didn't have enough money for anything at the time except for this game and I didn't want to leave empty handed. It was less than the cost to rent a game because I didn't have the money to rent a game either.