Guilty Gaming Pleasures

[WulfeLuer]

So, here's one for you. Everyone's seems to have one; that game that you know is fundamentally flawed or outright terrible, but you just love it anyway. Whenever you're between 'good' games or you need an intellectual palate cleanser (damn that's pretentious-sounding), you pick it back up and tear through it for the bazillionth time, even when that angry OCD game critic in your head is frothing and fuming in the background, and you're loving every minute of it. I'm not talking about really nerdy masochism; I mean you're honestly enjoying that crappy game and having a total blast despite the crappy-ness.

So air it out, drag that skeleton out and let's make it tap-dance. Tell us about 'that' game, why it sucks, and why you love it anyway.

One of mine (yes, I have several) is Star Wars Demolition for the PS1. It's a bizarre, half-baked effort to make a Twisted Metal-style death race game, only without the racing and using Star Wars vehicles. The roster has a few big names (Boba Fett, undercover Lando Calrissian, and Darth Maul as a secret character), but is mostly filled with third-rate, one-off, glorified fanfic characters. The vehicles themselves are horribly unbalanced, the secondary weapons even more so (the primary 'blaster' is just crap all-around), with the added problem that 'mirror' matches are not in the game. if you play the campaign mode, hope that Boba Fett (if you don't pick him yourself) comes in the first or second match, otherwise he is nigh-impossible to beat for some reason.

The litany of problems goes on. But you know what? I love this game. You actually get to tear around in a speeder or swoop or chicken walker and unleash flashy death upon the unworthy. Launching homing concussion missiles should be boring, but it's loads of fun. The fully charged proton torpedo is really just a huge death-ray zorcher right out of a shmup playbook. My favorite character isn't Darth Maul (he sucks in this game) or any of the A-listers, but Lobot. Yes, that random bald cyborg guy that does Lando's bidding without saying a word. In SW Demolition, he's given a Cloud Car (with a supermove that does the carbonite freeze to an opponent) and more to the point, speaking lines. He spouts gloriously cheesy stuff like "I am the future!" with absolute sincerity. The dichotomy of the stoic, efficient Lobot wrecking faces and channeling Captain Gordon is just plain hilarious.

Oh, and you can show enemy vehicles into the Sarlacc Pit and watch them get nommed a bit. Always good for a laugh.

Well, that's mine. Let's see yours.

[FieryReign]

Can't really think of anything that's total garbage. I loathe rpgs. Especially the cliched and formulaic Japanese kind. But I dug FF: Mystic Quest. It didn't try to do too much. And it did away with the idiotic random battles. Who thought that shit was a good idea and to implement it into damn near every rpg known to man since then? It's dumb.

With a whole party of 2 to deal with. That automatically switched as you progressed. None of that needing to micromanage an entire platoon of useless characters.

When you got to a new town you bought the best weapon, items, and armor, period. None of that choosing between a thousand different things to equip, with a million different status effects.

It's the only Final Fantasy game that counts to me. The rest could be tossed in the dumpster.

[calthaer]

I nearly never go through a game twice. But if I had to choose a "flawed favorite", it would be Space Rangers 2 for the PC. Lots of problems with it, but I've never experienced such a genre-bending game that combined arcade, RTS, text adventure, puzzle, turn-based strategy, and more into a cohesive whole.

[Steve W]

People like to crap on Star Wars: Demolition (PS1, Dreamcast) for various reasons related to Star Wars mythology, but I always loved it for the advancements to the Vigilante 8 gameplay (the engine Demolition was based on). Hell, I was playing it in emulation just last night.

I still enjoy a lot of the elements of Club Drive on the Atari Jaguar. Since there was so little coming out for the Jag in 1994, I was determined to squeeze every bit of enjoyment out of every game that came out for the system, and I liked the free-roaming aspect of it.

Speaking of the Jaguar, I always liked the Highlander CD-ROM game. Most magazine reviewers crucified it since they obviously didn't put much time into it (coming to grips with the controls and the ability to defend yourself and getting killed before you can figure out how to fight back made for an extremely frustrating first half-hour) but once I got into it I really enjoyed it. I played through it two or three times back in the day.

Another game that wasn't reviewed at the time very well was Basketbrawl for the Atari 7800. I ended up really liking that one, and bought the Lynx version once it hit the shelves.

Star Trek: Shattered Universe for the PS2 was another one I loved that most people hated. The difficulty balance was totally off in a way I've never seen before in any other game; out of the twenty-something levels, the absolutely rock-hardest one is something like level four, where you have to fight four Constitution-class ships and their fighter waves while defending the Excelsior, then when you think you're done with the level two Orion heavy cruisers jump in and attack - totally brutal level you'll end up having to replay over and over. After that one level the rest of the game is easy. I still like the game, flaws and all.

[goldenband]

Intellectually I know that Flintstones Bedrock Bowling (PS1) is shovelware, but I had a lot of fun extracting every ounce of gameplay I could from it by trying to get a perfect score on every course, even on Hard.

I also had fun with Sword of Sodan for Genesis. Everyone hates that game -- more than almost any game I can think of -- but while I found it infuriating at first, eventually I came to really enjoy the process of figuring out, beating it, and then getting to the point where I could beat it on every difficulty level & number of starting lives, even with the inferior (male) character.

I really want to play that Highlander game for Jaguar CD -- it seems like exactly the kind of thing I'd like.

[PreZZ]

Super Black Bass on snes. I used to play for hours back in the day, and still can today! there is something about that game that makes me want to play it more, and get record weigh in!!!

[Emperor Megas]

I suppose Alex Kidd: The Lost Stars for the SEGA Master System would qualify. It's just not a very good game. It's like something designed to entertain preschool children of the era or something. There's literally ZERO difficulty, and the gameplay is so simplistic and bland. The music is goofy as hell, and the graphics look like a poorly rendered 8-bit acid trip.

I still enjoy it though, even though I rarely play it.

[celerystalker]

Super Black Bass on snes. I used to play for hours back in the day, and still can today! there is something about that game that makes me want to play it more, and get record weigh in!!!

That one is a once every few years past time for a good friend of mine. We get together, name the player Mr. Texas Jr, and hang out and talk all night through a few tournaments.

I like Bible Adventures on NES a lot. The Noah's Ark game specifically. I find its animal collecting to be kind of a nice, calming exercise. We had both it and Spiritual Warfare as kids, and I like both. I'dve said Spiritual Warfare as well, but I personally believe that it's a genuinely good if hilariously odd game, and one of the best clones of the original Zelda. It just has an absurdly bad soundtrack, and it sucks huge bags of dicks to get its rendition of "Jesus Saves" stuck in your head. Even when I grew up and split our initial collection with my brother, I re-bought both so I'd be able to play them, and I do.

I also like the NES Dragon's Lair, but again, I don't think it's as much bad as misunderstood, as it's essentially a clever transition to 8-bit hardware of the memorization and timing of the arcade game, and not meant to be a pure action game. If you try to play it like a platformer, it's infuriating, but played correctly, it's not that tough.

[MASTERWEEDO]

Super Black Bass on snes. I used to play for hours back in the day, and still can today! there is something about that game that makes me want to play it more, and get record weigh in!!!

Bass Master's Classic: Pro Edition on the Sega Genesis. I don't know why, but I love that game.

[WulfeLuer]

Good, good, we have some good responses here. Totally forgot about Bass Master somehow.

Here's another from my list. This one is much less objectively horribad than deeply flawed: Legend of Mana for the PS1. It's not so much one big problem than it is lots and lots of little problems tending to pile up. The central plot is that there is no central plot, what can be pieced together is a vague "Are you a bad enough dude to revive the Mana Tree?" that only comes near the end of any given play through. The variety of characters and sidestories/sidequests is very wide but also very shallow. You wind up with just a little too much sand in the sandbox, lots of little shovels, and the castle-shaped bucket leaks like hell. Then you beat the game and the tide comes in...

NPC party members quickly wane in usefulness (with one distinct exception), the combat turns in a slog (especially if you up the difficulty), and what should be the best crafting system this side of Atelier is swamped in obtuse trial-and-error with even copious amounts of note-taking and fiddling about can leave you bewildered. Magic sucks for its intended purpose, but is broken otherwise since it doubles as a dodge-everything-on-demand.

And yet I love this game to pieces. The combat is cheesy but really fun to look at, with tons of flashy supermoves and a nice variety of weapons to play with. The obtuse crafting system is fun to screw around with, and results in some hilarious stuff (you can smite evil with a sword made of hemp for example). Those one-note characters and stories tend to hit those notes very well. The visuals give a great storybook feel, which helped give a bit of distinct identity to Mana. The soundtrack is even better ("The Wind Speaks of A Journey" is my special favorite). The New Game Plus mode gives you the chance to plow through to a given point and actually figure out some of the harder-to-find quests. Of they had just hammed out some more of the nuts and bolts details, well...It Might Have Been, and all that.

[Az]

Two Genesis fighters instantly come to mind for me, both of which are considered as garbage since upon release 25 years ago: Deadly Moves and Fighting Masters.

Fighting Masters for the awesome soundtrack, offbeat characters, and strangly lame-yet-satisfying fight mechanic. Punch once, grab, then jump 100 feet in the air to drag your opponent down the screen's edge. That metallic clang and intentional slowdown put some ooph into the grapples. Having an off the wall acid trip character roster is much more endearing than a generic one.

Deadly Moves is just rubbish. My brother got so hyped and actually reserved it (remember that term?) not expecting Streets of Rage 2: Duel Mode with 1/10th the features. It was the video game equivalent of Stockholm Syndrome: we thought it was good by forcing ourselves to play rather than admit being suckers. Replaying it now is like tapwater with a bread sandwich or reading a shampoo bottle on the shitter. Unoffensive, mindless time waster to play with your brain shut off.

[goldenband]

Replaying it now is like tapwater with a bread sandwich or reading a shampoo bottle on the shitter.

That got an actual LOL from me. (Well, more of an amused snort OL, but still.)

[Pr3tty F1y]

I love Revolution X for the SNES. I was immediately hooked on the arcade game and when I got the SNES game for Christmas, I was thrilled. When I nearly beat it in one try the next day, a little less thrilled ;)

Regardless, I found it something completely unique on the SNES.

The same goes for SNES Doom. I didn't have a PC capable of playing Doom back in 1995, but I played the hell out of this one. After I rented it for a weekend, I knew I had to have it. Why my parents were OK with getting it for me, I have no idea, but even with all of it's clunky blurriness, it was a completely unique experience on the SNES.

I still fire up both on BSNES/Higan from time to time and they still bring a smile to my face.

[Tanooki]

I don't think I'd personally consider it a guilty pleasure, but a lot of people call the game completely awful. Silent Service on NES. Bought it back in the day and crushed it and kept playing it as it's fun on any difficulty.

Most times though I think the hatred comes from the not having a manual and thinking half the game doesn't work right. 2 controllers are required. #2 fires rear torpedoes and also allows you to look around without turning the sub which makes the game far more versatile in offense and defense. I don't think you can also blow the tanks to surface in a hurry if you're sinking without #2 as well.

[goldenband]

I thought of another one: WarpSpeed. The gameplay is incredibly repetitive and janky, like a missing link between Star Raiders/Starmaster and the likes of Wing Commander, but there's something soothing and pleasantly narcotic about it.

[Steve W]

I also forgot about one, Fallout: Brotherhood of Steel for the PS2/Xbox. Loved it. Played it through three or four times. Since I had never played the original Fallout or its sequels when Brotherhood of Steel came out, I didn't have a problem with the backstory like a lot of hardcore Fallout fans did. I found it to be a cool Gauntlet-style action RPG set in a totally different setting than most games of that genre. It took years before I figured out that it was basically a reskin of Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance.

[Damaramu]

Fighting Masters for the awesome soundtrack, offbeat characters, and strangly lame-yet-satisfying fight mechanic. Punch once, grab, then jump 100 feet in the air to drag your opponent down the screen's edge. That metallic clang and intentional slowdown put some ooph into the grapples. Having an off the wall acid trip character roster is much more endearing than a generic one.

The devs for Fighting Masters would later change their name and develop Cosmic Carnage/Cyber Brawl for the 32X.

[PizzaKat]

ALthough more recent I'm probably the only guy that likes dance games like DDR and Just Dance. It has to be a good song which is rare but I find it fun and great exercise. Do the Mario SOnic Olympic games count. I find it fun and charming

[TinStarFox]

Fortunately, I often love 'rubbish' games...much like I'm able to appreciate stuff like Edward Wood's/Troma's work.

Building upon the conversation, I agree with the sentiments about Revolution X!

Much like T2:The Arcade Game, it provides an adequate home version of the rail shooter genre.

Although the Sega Channel exposed me to the Genny library's wide depth, Deadly Moves/Fighting Masters somehow are off my radar!


Any 2D[and sometimes 3D] beat-em up warrants a look to me, will have to check both out.

Lastly, I'll officially toss my hat in the ring with Barney's Hide & Seek!

Despite painfully obvious/not really hidden children, the fact that you literally don't have to pay attention to play, and Barney's stubborn refusal to die[:oops::help::duh:] ..I've always enjoyed its uniqueness{if nothing else..haha}.

I may add others as I recall...but has anyone else thought of any?