The STUPIDEST videogame quotes you've ever heard

[Sylentwulf]

from people who SHOULD know better.

Just heard some guy on g4TV say "If there was a videogame bible, it would say "In the beginning, there was Mario 64".

It's a repeat, and I've heard him say this the last time this was on, but it just pisses me off hearing it each time out of sheer and absolute stupidity. I can only hope and pray that he's been ragged on for saying that for at least a few months now.

So what else have you heard someone who should know better say? (Yes, people who SHOULD know better, I don't wanna hear what jim-bob at the fleamarket thinks aboutt his uber-rare smb nes carts...)

[chadtower]

Many, many times from many, many videogame store clerks to me, a customer with money in my hand asking if there are classic games for sale:

"We'd never sell any of those."

[davidbrit2]

Regarding the PSX vs. N64:

"Anything with a CD has better graphics."

I almost got scoliosis just from hearing that.

[Gamereviewgod]

Customer on the phone at previous video store job soon after the release of NBA 2K on the Dreamcast:

"When does NBA 3K come out?"

I'll never forget it.

[1bigmig]

Watz 4 t0p l04d3R???????????

EDIT: oops, maybe this person didnt know better

[GrandAmChandler]

Customer : "Yo you got dat Football jaunt piece?"
Me: Which one? Gameday, Madden, or NFL 2k
Customer : "Shoot you know da jaunt everyone got"
Me: For what system?
Customer : "Dreamcast, thats da hot shit."
Me: "NFL 2k"
Customer : "Yeah that's da jaunt, lemme git that"
Me: "Sure thing"

A little off topic, but....

This reminds me of the good old days of FUNCOLAND not Gamestop. My good friend was the assistant manager at another nearby FuncoLand, we had sales competions to see who could see the most copies of Irritating stick for Playstation. I only sold 2, he sold 8!

[sisko]

customer: Do you remember the Atari?
Me: 2600? Of course! It was loads of fun!
customer: Yeah! Well do you have that one game where you shot birds with a gun?
Me: Do you mean Duck Hunt?
customer: Yeah! That's it!!
Me: That actually came out for the Nintendo, but I have it right here.
customer: Nono, it was on the Atari, I remember it clearly.
Me: I have the cartridge right here (shows her the cartridge)
customer: No, thats not it. You had to shoot the ducks with a bright orange gun.
Me: You mean this one? (shows her the zapper)
Customer: YEAH! Thats it!
Me: This gun is for the Nintendo. You need it to play the Nintendo game Duck Hunt.
Customer: No...it was definitely for the Atari.....

[davidbrit2]

Customer : "Yo you got dat Football jaunt piece?"
Me: Which one? Gameday, Madden, or NFL 2k
Customer : "Shoot you know da jaunt everyone got"
Me: For what system?
Customer : "Dreamcast, thats da hot shit."
Me: "NFL 2k"
Customer : "Yeah that's da jaunt, lemme git that"
Me: "Sure thing"


Alright, I'll be the one to ask. What the hell is a "jaunt?" ;-)

Oh, I remembered a good one, but it's only vaguely video game related. Imagine the scene: I'm working the main register at Walgreen's, and there are some imported Pokemon cards for sale. Two kids walk in, probably not older than 12, one exclaims, "Hey, they got them Egypt cards!" Yeah, that Egyption Pokemon export market is just huge.

[hezeuschrist]

I'm guessing 'jaunt' is 'joint' but the stupid ass ghetto piece of shit couldn't pronounce that slang correctly let alone any other word in the language.

Ebonics pisses me off. A lot.

[davidbrit2]

Yeah, it was probably something like that.

[Atariguy]

"Bonk is just a stupid Mario spinoff!"
This was from a kid who was bashing the series without ever having played a single game of it. He then went on to prove that he had no idea what spinoff meant (he thought is was like a parody or something) and beg to borrow the game.

[spoon]

That fucking guy on the G4 commercial who calls Samus "Metroid". And, everyone who Calls Link "Zelda".

I also hate ebonics.

[GrandAmChandler]

Working at a Funcoland near the city, helped out in my Ebonics learning. There was a lot. My VERY favorite was this...

Lemme get that Donkey Jaunt.

He was referring to Donkey Kong 64 when it first got released. :roll:

[ManekiNeko]

This reminds me of the good old days of FUNCOLAND not Gamestop. My good friend was the assistant manager at another nearby FuncoLand, we had sales competions to see who could see the most copies of Irritating stick for Playstation. I only sold 2, he sold 8!

Your friend committed a crime against humanity by pushing so many copies of that game.

JR

[ManekiNeko]

"You know that rock in Sagat's stage in Street Fighter II? Can you pick it up and throw it?"
Also, there was a woman who couldn't quite grasp the idea that it takes at least six months for companies to make home translations of popular arcade games. She demanded to have Raiden II RIGHT NOW despite the fact that it was freshly released in arcades. I hope her year and a half long wait for The Raiden Project was long and painful.

JR

[GrandAmChandler]

This reminds me of the good old days of FUNCOLAND not Gamestop. My good friend was the assistant manager at another nearby FuncoLand, we had sales competions to see who could see the most copies of Irritating stick for Playstation. I only sold 2, he sold 8!

Your friend committed a crime against humanity by pushing so many copies of that game.

JR

But we had DAMN fun doing it ;)

[Neil Koch]

customer: Do you remember the Atari?
Me: 2600? Of course! It was loads of fun!
customer: Yeah! Well do you have that one game where you shot birds with a gun?
Me: Do you mean Duck Hunt?
customer: Yeah! That's it!!
Me: That actually came out for the Nintendo, but I have it right here.
customer: Nono, it was on the Atari, I remember it clearly.
Me: I have the cartridge right here (shows her the cartridge)
customer: No, thats not it. You had to shoot the ducks with a bright orange gun.
Me: You mean this one? (shows her the zapper)
Customer: YEAH! Thats it!
Me: This gun is for the Nintendo. You need it to play the Nintendo game Duck Hunt.
Customer: No...it was definitely for the Atari.....

Urgh, that rought back some memories of retail hell. Did the idiot go and ask another person hoping that he would get the answer he knows is right?

I was unfortunate enough to be working when the PS2s came out and you wouldn't believe the amount of idiots who thought PS2 games would work on a PS1... "but it says Playstation!"

[Querjek]

That fucking guy on the G4 commercial who calls Samus "Metroid". And, everyone who Calls Link "Zelda".

I also hate ebonics.



G4 Guy: So, what's your favorite video game character?

Guy (Who I swear is high): Super Metroid, man! When she dies, you get to see her butt-naked!

G4 Guy: What's your favorite game of all time?

Guy (Who I swear is high): Bushido Blade, man! WAAAASHIIIING!


Ugh. [/quote]

[Dire 51]

"You know that rock in Sagat's stage in Street Fighter II? Can you pick it up and throw it?"
Also, there was a woman who couldn't quite grasp the idea that it takes at least six months for companies to make home translations of popular arcade games. She demanded to have Raiden II RIGHT NOW despite the fact that it was freshly released in arcades. I hope her year and a half long wait for The Raiden Project was long and painful.

JR

So she demanded something from a retail store that they had no way of providing her with because the home game in question didn't exist? Idiot. I hope her wait was painful too.

[ManekiNeko]

Probably belongs in the "worst marketing claims" thread LOL

[from last Atari Age magazine, editor's page]

"Crystal Castles - it's a fine example of the new look in Atari 2600 games - more moving objects on screen, flicker-free animation, and complex gameplay."

"more moving objects" - you mean like Space Invaders a few YEARS earlier?
"flicker-free animation" - Hahaha. Ah....no
"complex gameplay" - collect 'dots' ala Pac-Man. VERY complex stuff there...yup.

Oh, come on. Cut 'em a break... Crystal Castles was a lot more complex than Pac-Man, and the flicker wasn't nearly as bad. They had good reason to heap praise onto that game. It deserved it.

JR

[ShinobiMan]

I got one for ya:

Upon trying to convince a lady in a target store back in 1997 that the Atari Lynx she had in her hands for her son was discontinued and was no longer being made, she says

"Oh thats alright, I'll just call up Nintendo and have them send me some games."

"Mam... uh, this system was made by Atari, your not going to find any games for it."

"Oh no your wrong. It's ok, I'll just call Nintendo's customer service line."

I sware to you fellow roundtablers... it was like talking to a toilet seat.

[GrandAmChandler]

Crystal Castles Was NOT Trakball compatible on the 2600 correct?

[Lost Monkey]

Overheard in EB:

Two guys were playing Sega GT on the DC.

One guy said to the other: "This ain't better than the 'Station."

[Lost Monkey]

Crystal Castles Was NOT Trakball compatible on the 2600 correct?

AKAIK no games were trakball compatible on the 2600. When you use a Trakball on the 2600 you are just simulating the digital joystick movement and not a real analog trakball. There is a recent hack of Missile Command to use an authentic trakball control though.