Best game review ever.

[hezeuschrist]

http://www.gamespot.com/pc/driving/bigrigsotrr/review.html

Good lord. The crash is on it's way sooner than I expected...


At least, this is what the back of the game's box would have you believe. Let us make it very clear that these statements are all horrible, horrible lies.


The supposedly computer-controlled truck you're supposed to be racing against in the game never actually moves. You win every single time. So unless you especially like seeing a winning-screen over and over again that reads "You're Winner!", there is absolutely no point...

[Bratwurst]

A knee slapping LOL!

Eh, who cares? You and I both know this was made for the people who buy those Deer Hunter games.

[hezeuschrist]

But still, it's hilarious that the opponent truck DOESN'T EVEN MOVE. How the hell do you release a game like that?

[Cmosfm]

It seems to me that with all the bad Truck Driving games out there developers would either STOP making them, or start making them better.

Not that hard people, but the sad thing is,rednecks will still buy this...and enjoy it :o

[SoulBlazer]

ROTFL!

That is the LOWEST SCORE and the HARSHEST REVIEW of a game I have EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!!!!!

LOL LOL LOL

Thanks for sharing that with us!

:D ;)

[ManekiNeko]

YOU'RE WINNER!
I realize this game was written FOR rednecks, but the dialogue makes it sound as though it was written BY rednecks. Either that or a Japanese guy with a loose grasp of the English language.

JR

P.S. While we're on the subject of bad truck driving games, how did Bad Mother Truckers turn out? Is it as painful as the commercials make it seem?

[Half Japanese]

I just don't understand the lack of pride in ones work that a programmer and game designer must have in order to release this shit. Now, to put this in perspective, I've written some pretty shitty papers for school in my day, but I've NEVER turned in anything THAT terrible. I hope anyone who was interested in this game in the first place gets hit by a "big rig." This redneck shit has got to stop:

-Backyard Wrestling
-WWE Shut your Face Jabroni (or whatever the catchphrase is these days)
-Deer Hunter
-Big Mutha Truckers
-IHRA Drag Racing

If there is a god, he has forsaken the software market and denied it his watchful eye.

[brykasch]

Wow that review was harsh, but dammnit we need to be harsh on people that release dreck like that. Its also one of the reason the PC gaming industry is not in great shape. I like the fact that to develop for a system you need the dev tools, and they cost money. I know I seem harsh in this but some of the bad pc games I have seen over the years re-inforces this to me.

RE:Redneck games-

DO not lump wrestling in with these, unfortunatly here in the states they havent made a great wrestling game in a while (save def jam vendetta) but just becaus eyou liek wrestling does not make you a redneck:)

[Bratwurst]

but just becaus eyou liek wrestling does not make you a redneck:)

While that is true, if you are a redneck then you like wrestling. :D

[Half Japanese]

I just watched every bit of game footage for that game.....

There aren't words to describe it. There just aren't.

There are no physics, no collision detection (driving through buildings and falling through bridges seems to be commonplace) and no real reason to keep around anyone who was involved at all with the creation of that shit. There's a reason we have a death penalty, and GameMill and Stellar Stone have illustrated that for us magnificently.

Oh, and if you've ever seen any of the backyard wrestling tapes you'll know why I don't want those degenerates to have a good time, let alone offspring. I'm sure wrestling games can be good if done right (where's Kaiju Big Battel damnit?), but WWE is about as redneck as you can get full of lame-ass stereotype characters and unrealistically silicone-endowed whores. Lame. And just do yourself a favor before you say "oh, but the storylines...." NO.

[Retro Pro]

I was gonna write a long rant to combat all of this stereotypical rubbish about wrestling fans, but it's not worth my time or energy. I love wrestling, I really enjoy wrestling games, and I *know* I'm not a 'neck. End of story.

Case in point: DP's very own Bill Kunkel is a renowned wrestling writer and artist.

[DrunkenMonkeysRule]

You know, to classify all wrestling/sports-entertainment fans as rednecks is just another proof that society has not improved one bit. There are very intellectual individuals that are fans of wrestling/sports-entertainment. There are poloticians, doctors, and laywers just to name a few. I know of someone that works at Harvard who is a fan. I know of a pyschologist who is a fan. I know of journalists, musicians, actors, actresses. There are smart people all over the world who are fans. I, myself, am a fan of wrestling and I am in no way a redneck. In fact, I beg to conclude that you "drjustinramone" are a redneck. Why? Because it takes a very close-minded individual to come to such prejudice. Why not, while you're at it, say that all Mexicans (or do you call them Wetbacks?) are illegal and steal American jobs? While you're at it, why not say all African-Americans are uneducated and just stay on welfare? WHILE you're at it, why not say that all Arabs are terrorists? Oh and let's not forget my favorite close minded statement, all gay people look a like and are sissy boys? You sir are a very poor excuse for a human being IF you are really that close minded. And from your first impression, I would have to say yes.

Now regarding backyard wrestling, that indeed is very dangerous and very stupid for teenagers to try. However, not one wrestling organization promotes backyard wrestling and you will never hear a professional wrestler say that backyard wrestling is okay. Professional wrestling is a very dangerous form of entertainment. There are incidents where people are injured so severe that they are off for one full year or in the case of Shawn Michaels (real name Michael Hickenbottom) around four years. There have also been incidents where people have died in the ring and where people have become paralyzed. So the real thing is dangerous and does not encourage people to put their lives in danger just because they can't make it to the pros.

In conclusion, not all fans of professional wrestling/sports-entertainment are rednecks. I'm sure some are. But I'm sure there are rednecks that are fans of everything. From baseball to basketball to VIDEO GAMES, there are rednecks who are enjoying themselves.

Sorry for the rant but I dispise closed minds.

[Ed Oscuro]

The basic idea in the actual game is that you pick one from four vaguely different trucks and then one from five vaguely different levels.

I can imagine the reviewer sputtering with anger after reading this sentence. When they start using phrases like "pick one from four" instead of "pick from four," I have to wonder if they were focused on getting this review out there and out of their mind immediately. That, or the more usual lack of knowledge about the mechanics of language. Still an awesome review, though!

Any review that can put the caption "Please do not play this game. We cannot stress this enough" under a screenshot of a flying semi gets my vote :P

[Ed Oscuro]

Check out that "patch," too...


This patch does hardly anything to resolve the variety of show-stopping bugs and gameplay issues plaguing this game.
[DOWNLOAD - 3.5 MB, Patches - POSTED: 01/15/04]

[josekortez]

I don't like WWE wrestling, but Just Bring It was a damn good video-game, and it controls well with an arcade stick. Period. That's all I have to say.

[Half Japanese]

Yeah, comparing the dislike of wrestling with racism was just hitting the nail right on the head. Finally, two of society's worst problems recognized x_x . Like wrestling all the fuck you want. I don't. I find no redeeming value in watching, keeping up with, or paying $20 per PPV to watch it. Not even as a guilty pleasure. You like it. I don't. The fact that I don't like wrestling or the fact that I have opinions on it does not make me narrow minded. It makes me a person with an opinion (read: every single person on Earth). Your racial accusations have no merit.

As a side point, I used to watch wrestling when I was little, but once they started talking and hawking PPV's more than doing anything resembling a fight, my interest died faster than a lab canary in Chernobyl. I read Mick Foley's book during a month-or-so long period where my interest was revived, and I can respect what he does and how long it took him to get there. That's not to say that I'll sit through an hour and a half of talking and generic "I'm going to kick his ass for stealing my belt!" promos to see any actual wrestling.

[punkoffgirl]

Uh, hey guys? Remember that review that this thread was about? Let's stick to that instead of turning this into a debate about who got offended by which stereotype. If you want to talk about wrestling and the people that like it, start something in Off Topic or call Jerry Springer (it sounds like a show he'd do).

Play nice or recess will be over.

[Ze_ro]

Wow, this game sounds even worse than a Valu-soft (http://www.somethingawful.com/games/) title.

Before you damn the programmer(s?), I'd suggest that some pointy haired boss might have been responsible for releasing it early.

--Zero

[Jorpho]

Yes, that is also what came to mind. The pointy-haired boss with unreasonable deadlines, a group of marketers who know nothing about programming (or even gaming, perhaps), and a doomed programmer.

Either that or they accidently sent the wrong disk to the publisher. But the existence of a patch (why even bother!?) would seem to preclude that.

[anagrama]

Check out the reader reviews (particularly Ummagumma's) for a further giggle LOL

[hezeuschrist]

Hahah


Deplorable wars, horrific suffering, cancer, and bargain-bin victims are all the culmination of Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing.