Sniderman's JoySchtick UPDATED today!

[punkoffgirl]

I don't want to steal anyone's thunder by announcing this, but I just saw Tim's new column, Joy Schtick (http://www.digitpress.com/columns/joyschtick.htm) was one of the news links on the front page of the site, so I clicked. What an entertaining read! Tim, you get a A+++ from me!!

Click on the name and check it out, people!

[Cmosfm]

Hickey-Head! LOL

I enjoyed it, very good story and new segment! Keep up the good work

[atariboy]

Great Story. LOL LOL LOL
I think alot of us have done something stupid like that. Very funny story.

[Lady Jaye]

So, when is Tim changing his nick to "hickey-man"? *just kidding* ;)

[gamergary]

The title at the top says alt.not.gaming but its a good article.

[Drexel923]

Good work Tim, funny story. I can't wait to read the next one about Mono. LOL

[Sotenga]

Tim, my good man, I think this next "statement" is coming from a combination of your story and me listening to Punk In Drublic, so here it goes:

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL ROFL ROFL ROFL

That was primo! I look forward to this column's future. Perhaps investing in a body bag wouldn't be such a bad idea... I will more than likely laugh myself to death. Great work, Tim! :)

[digitalpress]

Listen to what the media has been saying about Tim Snider's "JoySchtick":

"I laughed, I cried... I wet myself" - J. Illutnas, NY Trimes

"Greatest. Article. Ever" - Joseph S. Antull I, Los Agnoles Gazette

"My life has changed since reading this article. It was better than finding God" - Rev. DP Ress, Christey Monitor

[rbudrick]

Tim,

I think youmight have mentioned this to us once before....fucking hilarious just the same!

A kid I knew in 6th grade did asimilar thing. Rich Hilman was the name. Anyway, you know those little rubber things that are a half-sphere that are about the size of a half dollar in diameter? Basically you turn them inside out, set them on a table and they pop up in the air. Well they now all have an airhole in them for this reason, I would imagine:


Rich put one of these on his forehead (the kind w/o the hole in it) and walked around and went to class for a period or two. I saw him later with a huge purple thing on his forehead...a perfectly round circle.

HE HAD IT FOR SIX MONTHS!!!!

-Rob

[digitalpress]

Updated today... "HOT XXX VIDEOGAME PORN".

How fitting considering our upcoming SEXY AVATAR WEEK :)

Enjoy!

http://digitpress.com/columns/joyschtick.htm

[Balloon Fight]

Another great read Tim. Keep up the excellent work. :)

[gamergary]

Keep up the good work Tim. When's the mono one coming out?

[digitalpress]

A new edition of Sniderman's always-entertaining column appears today.

http://www.digitpress.com/columns/joyschtick.htm

[Lady Jaye]

Cute story, Tim!!! I do remember slightly those calculator games... interesting that you'd invented some of your own (despite the blatant copyright infringements)! :D

[Flack]

Interesting story!

What were the general rules of these games? I mean, how did they work in general?

Right after 7734, we all learned 5318008 and 55378008, depending on the girl we were passing the calculator to.

[Sniderman]

Interesting story!

What were the general rules of these games? I mean, how did they work in general?

To summarize most of them, the calculator was used as a random number generator which would determine "enemy movement" on a gameboard. For example, on a playgrid of Asteroids, the random number would determine asteroid & UFO movement. You'd move, fire, they'd "move", you'd determine if a UFO entered the environment, if so, it'd move and fire, you'd move and fire, etc. Games like "Berzerk" "Tempest" etc. worked in a similar manner.

Other games had different rules sets, but that seemed to be the template by which several were designed. My pride-n-joy was "Calculator Pac-Man." I may clean up and type up the rules and post 'em for sh!ts -n- giggles in the future.

[digitalpress]

Got an update today!

Some of you may have heard about when Tim lost electricity a short while back. Well, find out how a gamer deals with this scenario.

http://www.digitpress.com/columns/joyschtick.htm

[Lady Jaye]

Great story, Tim!!! I love it!!! That oughta teach you about not keeping your SP freshly recharged... ;)

[Sotenga]

Hehehe... dammit, that's a good idea! Why didn't I use the Virtual Boy when my power was knocked out for about eighteen hours? Of course, I probably really WOULD have gone blind for lack of better things to do.

Great work, Tim sir! :hail:

[PDorr3]

An enjoyable read. I thought the virtual boy part was funny, did you actualy think you had gone blind? LOL

[Sniderman]

An enjoyable read. I thought the virtual boy part was funny, did you actualy think you had gone blind? LOLIt was during a citywide power outage. Imagine: No streetlamps. No traffic signals. No ambiant light from the city. No porch lights. No headlights (People were afraid of hitting a downed tree.) NO LIGHT AT ALL. It was like being in a cave.

Now, imagine that you've been playing VB for a while with headphones on. You're completely cut off from the outside world. You stop playing and you lean back and blink a few times, and there's NOTHING. And you rub your eyes for a sec and blink a few more times and there's NOTHING.

Yeah, there was a moment of "Oh CRAP!" Then I figured it out. :embarrassed:

[Sothy]

Sniderman I want you to be the mother of my children.

[PDorr3]

An enjoyable read. I thought the virtual boy part was funny, did you actualy think you had gone blind? LOLIt was during a citywide power outage. Imagine: No streetlamps. No traffic signals. No ambiant light from the city. No porch lights. No headlights (People were afraid of hitting a downed tree.) NO LIGHT AT ALL. It was like being in a cave.

Now, imagine that you've been playing VB for a while with headphones on. You're completely cut off from the outside world. You stop playing and you lean back and blink a few times, and there's NOTHING. And you rub your eyes for a sec and blink a few more times and there's NOTHING.

Yeah, there was a moment of "Oh CRAP!" Then I figured it out. :embarrassed:

yeah I see what you mean, after I am done playing VB and I take it off it feels like I just woke up in the morning, and it burns!

[Drexel923]

Good stuff as always Tim...keep up the good work. Now I want to play some Mattel Football, only I can't find where I left it :(

[Slate]

Good one.. Power lines, Wich fell on more power lines.. LOL

"I'm bliiind!" ROFL
"Jumping throughout the night.." :)

[Arcade Antics]

For hours I played until I was finally able to kill Singe and rescue the Princess within my 5 original lives.

“Can we now watch an actual movie?” Chris pleaded. So I popped in a DVD, and we settled down to watch it. The DVD battery pack died 7 minutes later.

Flippin' classic. LOL

[Sniderman]

I finally got off my keister and hammered out the newest Joyschtick, posted today.

http://www.digitpress.com/columns/joyschtick.htm

C'mon. Let's see a show of hands. It's a gamer's shame, I admit, but I can't be alone in this. :embarrassed:

[digitalpress]

C'mon. Let's see a show of hands. It's a gamer's shame, I admit, but I can't be alone in this. :embarrassed:

*raises hand*

As mentioned in this thread:
http://www.digitpress.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=45815

Excellent column as usual, Tim!

[Lothars]

Awesome Column

I have to say excellent read :) two thumbs up

[Flack]

I just got around to reading this earlier. It's always a mixed blessing when the forums go offline, I tend to use that time to scour the rest of the site and see what all I've missed lately!

Great article Tim. I'm in the club with you. There are a few games I've REALLY wanted to play and just haven't been able to. I did really good on the flying levels of Shadows of the Empire, and when it got to the 1st person stuff I just had to quit playing. Could not do it.

One thing that's funny is, there are a few games that I'm okay with. Ghost Recon, Star Wars Battlefront, and a few others are okay, but pop in Halo, or pretty much any 1st person shooter from the past 5-10 years and within minutes it feels like sweet Lucifer himsel is pressing on my eyeballs with his thumbs and won't quit for at least half an hour after I turn the console off. Instant nausia and headache for the rest of the afternoon.

One thing that's weird is, the Tony Hawk games on the PSX don't really make me sick, while the ones on the PS2 and Xbox do. Shrug.

[DigitalSpace]

Sniderman, thanks for another great read. I have yet to play Halo myself (although in my case, it's more out of coincedence than anything else).