It stinks! It stinks!! It STINKS!!!

[ManekiNeko]

It's your turn to play The Critic and review a game you really hated, describing in the most effective way possible why you feel it's so horrible. Make us feel the same disgust you do for the object of your contempt!

Here's my contribution, taken from the latest update of my web site The Gameroom Blitz:

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Well, I've finally played Death Crimson, and I must say that it really does live up to its reputation as the worst light gun game- and perhaps the worst game EVER- on the Sega Saturn. No words (not even swear words!) can describe how viciously, maliciously bad this game is, but for the sake of humanity, I'll try. Death Crimson sucks. It sucks the white from paper, the Corinthian from leather, and all eleven herbs and spices from a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. It has been shown to cause cancer in laboratory animals, the scientists hired to handle them, and their immediate relatives. Death Crimson will abduct your eyeballs, drag them to a secluded forest, and sodomize them until they squeal like pigs. Its soundtrack is a symphony of destruction that will haunt both your dreams and every waking moment. Death Crimson is the scourge of the seven seas, a plague upon the land, and a threat to the entire galaxy.

The designers (or more likely, designer) of Death Crimson should be thrown in prison forever for this sadistic gun crime. In fact, this is the most sinister use of a firearm since the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr. You'd be better off playing Area 51, Mighty Hits, or even Russian Roulette with a loaded weapon. At least you'll die happy, knowing that you never, ever had to experience the indescribable horror of Death Crimson.

JR

[Queen Of The Felines]

Yeah, but WHY does Death Crimson suck? Horrible graphics? Bad control? Stupid plot? C'mon, give us a little more depth here. ;)

Although I liked the sodomizing eyeballs part. :D

Kristine

[Arcturius]

But does it suck as much as Death Crimson OX on the Dreamcast? Seriously the US Release version of a light gun game that has NO light gun support. You can't even play it with a official light gun (I tryed on my PAL machine I get a "There is no support for that perprihital (sp) in North America")

Did the US get any light gun games that use the light gun at all?

[Garry Silljo]

Thats funny, because my local EB sells a copy of Death Crimson for the Dreamcast, and they have it packaged with an off brand gun. Why would they do that? I assumed it was compatable, but if you say its not, I'm sure you're right.

[§ Gideon §]

I find this patronizing.

[ManekiNeko]

That's a fair question. Let me try to explain it in further detail...

First of all, the graphics in the game are horrendous. They're polygonal, but lack the depth and realism you'd expect from that style of visual presentation. Buildings look like blocks with windows hastily textured onto them. The characters barely animate at all, making even the cheesy Konami light gun game Lethal Enforcers look lively by comparison. When you shoot the bad guys, you're rewarded with a simple one frame animation, with the enemy usually turning green and throwing up its arms. After a few minutes of Death Crimson, you'll probably turn green and throw up, too.

Secondly, the gameplay is amazingly frustrating. Although the unreliable Stunner light gun is more accurate here than it was in other games, that still won't save you from the many cheap hits you'll take from the enemies. You're given little indication that you've taken damage from the green ogres and flying insects in the game... your character just lets out a pathetic moan and one of your life points (represented by a pointy red gem) disappears. You're given no invincibility after you've been hit, meaning that you can get hit repeatedly by several enemies at once. With only three life points per credit, you can't afford this handicap. You'll also find yourself losing life points from enemy attacks a split second after you continue, giving you NO chance to defend yourself. The camera also has a nasty habit of panning away from enemies as you're battling them, making it impossible to draw a bead on them. This makes the ambiguous collision detection that much more frustrating... you never know if the flying fiend in the corner of the screen is going to hit you or not.

Finally, the game feels like it was done on a shoestring budget... no, make that a used, frayed dental floss budget. When you lose your last life, the words "GAME OVER" flash on your screen in red, then you're sent back to the Ecole logo you saw when you first booted the game. If I were one of the designers at Ecole, I'd make every attempt to HIDE the logo, rather than show it off at every given opportunity. It just makes it easier for the mobs of angry gamers who played Death Crimson to track you down and maim you with their pitchforks and flaming torches.

JR

[ManekiNeko]

But does it suck as much as Death Crimson OX on the Dreamcast? Seriously the US Release version of a light gun game that has NO light gun support. You can't even play it with a official light gun (I tryed on my PAL machine I get a "There is no support for that perprihital (sp) in North America")

Did the US get any light gun games that use the light gun at all?

Yeah, but the light gun situation in America was a little funky. The Dreamcast was released in the same year as the Columbine murders, so Sega decided not to support the system with an official light gun. A Japanese light gun was released by Sega in Japan, but US Dreamcast games were specifically designed to ignore it. HOWEVER, this didn't stop other game companies like Mad Catz from releasing their own light guns, which were compatible with American releases like Confidential Mission and House of the Dead 2.

JR

P.S. Patronizing? Please explain, Gideon.

[Cmosfm]

I wrote this one....

CLICK HERE (http://www.gamefaqs.com/console/saturn/review/R68574.html)

Maybe it's not the WORST, but its, well, interesting!

[Darkness X]

I got one...

OffWorld Interceptor:Extreme for the Sega Saturn

At first glance of the back of the case the game seems to be an average Twisted Metal ripoff. Being the fan of car combat games I am, I decided to give it a try...

Graphics: Even for an early 3D Saturn game this is pathetic. Each level is really the same as the last only a different and very bland color of dirt on the ground makes them different. The many waves of enemy's you will encounter all seem to use the same couple of vehicles, all of which look very plain and pixelated. The only things that look decent on the screen is your car and the scrolling sky in the background.

Oh and did I mention the "cut-scenes" if you can even call them that. Even on the back of the case it mentions the lame FMV parts of the game, only it seems that the developers mean't to make the so called Cut-Scene's overly cheesy. Why they did this I will never know?

The scenes go on about some space movie, which I'm guessing is the plot of the game? (that is if you can even call it a plot) And then you have two guys making fun of this movie by making jokes and insults that would seem imature and stupid even on a 2nd grader's level. I won't spoil much about the cut-scenes as they are so bad they almost make this game worth 5 bucks just to see that it really is possible to make an FMV sequence with a budget of $3 or less.

Graphics score: 3.6/10

Sound: Not much to say here, becuase there really isn't any sound to speak of. You have the standard engine sounds of your space vehicle, The random and very overused machine gun and explosion sounds, and then there is a boring uninspired loop of music that repeats over and over through the level. Atleast you get new music on each level, if only it was more then 5 seconds of music put together for each stage I might actually care. All I can say now is Thank God my tv has a mute option...

Sound score: 2.4/10

Control: I hated it, the way everything is set-up makes using the special weapons annoying and you often end up pressing the wrong button in the middle of a big battle. I'm not 100% sure, but if I remember it right you don't even have the option to customize the controls.

Note:I was using an old American model 1 controller when I played this so that was probably part of my problems.

Control score: 5.5/10

Gameplay: You pick from a wide variety of space vehicles (around 5!) then you race in outer space on a cool selection of planets (around 6!)

Each levels exactly the same as the last (only with more enemy's). You have a very short timer that leaves little room for error, in this short period of time you rcae to the end shooting mindless enemy cars and collecting powerups, And then you face off against a boss car. The Boss Car is really just some big vehicle that takes up most of the screen and drives in a straight line hitting you with cheap attacks until you die and have to restart the level again. If you do manage to beat the time limit and destroy the cheap and boring boss character what do you get? You get to do the same thing all over again only with less time and more enemy's to destroy!!!

As for the enemy AI...hmm how should I describe it? Oh yes...Criminally handicapped would be a nice
way to put it. Your opponents strategy is this: Speed around the level smashing into rocks/other enemy's/your character/whatever until they explode. Awesome Strategy huh?

Gameplay score: 3.7/10

Final Comments: Don't buy this steaming pile unless you want a complete Saturn collection or you have $5 you would like to burn.

[§ Gideon §]

I'll try... Do you find Jerry Springer (as a host, not a show) patronizing to guests?

I'm not equating this topic with Jerry Springer, but it seems... somewhat similar to me. I dunno. I smelled it...

[Steven]

HAHA... it should be noted... in Saturn Power, a UK based magazine devoted to Saturn, Death Crimson scored a 5.... outta 100!!!!!!!!!

As for OWIE yes that GAME SUCKS THE BIG ONE. My God... I remember looking forward to a fun semi-Twisted Metal-esque game... instead, it was one of those playing experiences where it made me question what the hell I'm doing with my life.

I came this close to packing my bags and "leaving the gaming scene."

[ManekiNeko]

I'll try... Do you find Jerry Springer (as a host, not a show) patronizing to guests?

I'm not equating this topic with Jerry Springer, but it seems... somewhat similar to me. I dunno. I smelled it...

Well, what would you have done instead?

JR

[§ Gideon §]

Well, what would you have done instead?
Started a round of "Kumbaya" around the campfire...

Joking. I wouldn't have done anything instead. There's no reason to, because there's nothing wrong. Anyway, I just felt like speaking my mind, so please carry on.

But, I gotta say the comment about eyeballs squealing like pigs... That's gold!

(Fun with color, today)

[Captain Wrong]

[quote="Arcturius"]But does it suck as much as Death Crimson OX on the Dreamcast? Seriously the US Release version of a light gun game that has NO light gun support. You can't even play it with a official light gun (I tryed on my PAL machine I get a "There is no support for that perprihital (sp) in North America")

Did the US get any light gun games that use the light gun at all?/quote]

Whaa? My gun works fine with this game. There's even an option for calibrating the gun in the setup menu and everything.

As for the Dreamcast, House of the Dead 2 was the only other game I can think of that uses the gun. I may be missing something, but that's how I see it.

[PapaStu]

As for the Dreamcast, House of the Dead 2 was the only other game I can think of that uses the gun. I may be missing something, but that's how I see it.

Confidental Mission? I can swear that ive seen this packaged with an off party gun. That would make me think that it is gun capable too.

[rbudrick]

Although I liked the sodomizing eyeballs part.

:hmm: :?

-Rob

[Atari7800]

I agreen wholeheartedly... DEATH CRIMSON is one sorry, sorry Saturn game. It makes the Dreamcast sequel look like a masterpiece. The graphics are terrible, and the gameplay is just awful, awful, awful! Try this with a regular controller and it just gets worse.

TIME COMMANDO (a bad PSX game) was ported over to the Japanese Saturn, and it's nearly as bad. The game uses pre-rendered backgrounds, yet many of the character models only use ONE COLOR. We're talking poeple who are all tan. No other colors. Pitiful.

x_x

[Captain Wrong]

Confidental Mission? I can swear that ive seen this packaged with an off party gun. That would make me think that it is gun capable too.


Ahh...you're right. That was a Virtual Cop kinda deal. Plus there's Virtual Cop 2.

[LazingBlazers]

taken from the latest update of my web site The Gameroom Blitz


Mickey Tveter lost at Video Power therefore he stinks.

The End.

[ManekiNeko]

taken from the latest update of my web site The Gameroom Blitz


Mickey Tveter lost at Video Power therefore he stinks.

The End.

(thonk)
That came out of left field...

So I take it that you've visited my site for the first time, then?

JR

[LazingBlazers]

(thonk)
That came out of left field...

So I take it that you've visited my site for the first time, then?

JR

No, I wrote the follow up to his letter. LOL Seriously.