Iron Monkey TREASURES of East contest! HAAAAAAAIII!

[Iron Monkey]

Starts now Iron Monkey these Contest.
Is to be SORRY for of Invasions of Forum all in April last.
Contest is now Starting.

Hows Winning to be ~

Writes in 100 and lesser Words: Why is ASIA games BETTER as than ENGLISH-USA Games!
To be Winner he get TREASURES of East!
Includes "Nichibutsu Arcade Classics" on PLAYSTATIONS.
Also some Few PC Engines CD-ROM.
Also some Few FAMICOMS Cartridge!

To be Starts NOW! GO! Luck in You Writings.
HAAAAAAAAIIIIII!

[Ed Oscuro]

I'm...speechless.

You're really from the States, aren't you?

In any case I have a hard time feeling that I want to write an essay after seeing this display. :o

[portnoyd]

Let me turn on my English to EEENNNGRRRRISH translator.

YAAAAIIIIIIII!!!!!!

ASIA GAMES - CRUSH US GAMES! USA GAMES WEAK, ASIA GAMES FIYAAAAAH STROOOONG! GAME PLAY - UNMATCHED IN ASIA, ORIGINALITY OVERWHELMING. HA HA HAAAAAIIIIIIII!! KICK! KICK! KICK! KICK! ASIA KNOWS WHERE POWAH IS, USA GAMES WEAK WITH WEAKNESS!

*click*

No, I don't even know what I just said.

dave

[Bratwurst]

For epilepsy
Flash screen and convulsions bring
Dilated eyes great.

[Trixie]

Is this "Iron Monkey" character for real?!?! @_@ @_@ I think this is someone having a bit of a joke at our expense! :evil:

I'd hate to think that this is simply a "joke account" for someone to hide who they truly are!!! O.O







;) LOL ;)

[digitalpress]

I wonder if anyone remembers what happened last time Iron Monkey's contest was taken as a joke - the one person who played along was the winner and got the goods!

I don't think I'd mind having that Nichibutsu Classics disc, it goes for nearly $100. I don't know what PC Engine or Famicom stuff comes with it, but Iron Monkey, bizarre as he/she is, has come thru in the past.

PS do I qualify?

[Kid Ice]

Huh?

(thinks: is this he kill my master?)

[punkoffgirl]

Asian games are the best because where else can you get such butt-spanking, butt-poking, school-girl stripping fun?

[le geek]

ASIAN GAME BEAT HOLLYWOOD SISSY GAME WITH EXTRA FRUITY POWER!
CANDY COLORS DAZZLE BRAIN VS DRAB "REAL" WESTERN GAME!
VIB RIBBON GET BRUE RIBBON! WHERE ELSE YOU GET ASS POKE GAME? WHERE ELSE YOU PLAY AS TOFU? AMERICAN GAME YOU GET SERVED!

SMACK!

[Sph1nx]

Asia games quicker! Usa games take too long for market!

[Nature Boy]

HHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAIII! Enter contest must I!

America uptight in ass, yet Asia makes Boong-Ga Boong-Ga!!! Needs must be said more?

(So good to see you again, Iron Monkey san...)

[Queen Of The Felines]

School girls in short skirts
Homosexual shooters
And tentacle porn.

A WINNER IS YOU!

Kristine

[ManekiNeko]

Asian games (specifically, Japanese games) really do prove that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Their products are generally more daring and innovative than the software designed here in the States. In addition to that, Japanese games are more polished and professional than their American counterparts thanks in large part to the specialized education offered in Japan. Schools dedicated to the art and science of game design have existed in the land of the rising sun for over a decade... in America, you're lucky to find a college that even offers classes on the subject.

JR

P.S. OK, fine. ME RIKEE ORIENTAL GAMES VELLY MUCH! There, now I should be a shoe-in for this contest. x_x

[buttasuperb]

Better cover art, and artwork in general.
Uncensored, while US games are sometimes censored. (yay for white blood)
Lots of cool import games never even make it to the US (see the saturn and the dc)

HAI!

[Captain Wrong]

@ Trixie, you so crazy.

[WiseSalesman]

Asian games are better than US games because their production is not ruled by the mass market as much as it is here in the US. Sadly, video games are all about sales here, thus the only games produced here feature things that appeal to the majority of the demographic. Personally, I like games that are creative and unique, and differ from the norm. Asian games are a better choice for me, because there is more variety in the selection. And, since only a fraction of Asian titles are ever released here, Asian games have more overall selection as well.

[o2william]

Super Happy Lucky Smile Asia Game brings length of enjoyment with magnificent operation.
Asia Game is innovate, artistic, difference. Plus more sexy!
USA Game is make money, no more. Crush spirit for profit. All USA Game same. Afraid for change and lose face. No honor.
Operate Asia Game for maximum joy of play. Proceed with vigor! You can not do less!

[davidbrit2]

Bemani
Boong-ga Boong-ga

That about sums it up.

[Push Upstairs]

If it wasnt for Asian import games i would have never heard the phrases:


"SOMEONE MADE A GAME ABOUT THAT???"

or

"THEY PUT THAT IN A GAME?????"

[Mr. Smashy]

http://www3.telus.net/smashy/Pai%20Mei%202.JPG

In his infinite wisdom, Pai Mei told me that Asian games are only fit for Japanese fat heads!

After that, he stroked his beard and laughed at me. :(

[Iron Monkey]

Missing Things from Iron Monkey!
Contest is to be Ended in Monday 9pm Okinawa Time.
Is GMT+9 so also is MATH needed in Contest!

Also Iron Monkey not remember Say:
Losers be Attack with Palm-Heel of Dire Consequence!
Not so bad is Answers to Contest then to be thinking I!
HAAAAAAAAAAAIII!

Also Lucks with You.

[GENESISNES]

I remember the ol iron monkey, i didnt take him seriously when i first saw him like a year or so ago...

[§ Gideon §]

The prophecy is WRONG! Iron Monkey is supposed to return on the first of the chosen month. Today is not the first. Is this a hoax?

Fear not. I will have an Iron Monkey contest entry soon, anyways.

[Professor Hector]

All right, here's my take on it:

I think the reason Japanese games in general are often better than American games lies within the Japanese themselves. A society so deeply as ingrained in core values and group harmony as the Japanese does not often produce a large variety of creative individuals. Occasionally, however, someone comes along who is able to perceive the entrenching nature of these patterns and break free of them (on some level at least), and it is these people who through this very process exude creativity. These are the real visionaries, those famous minds like Shigeru Miyamoto, Hideo Kojima, and Yuji Naka, who are not only not afraid of reinventing the wheel, but actually delight in it.

American games are less likely to be strongly backed by such people in large part because (console) game development in this country has been a comparatively small market until recently, and so there has been less of an opportunity for us to expand upon our own established gameplay notions. Also, the public view of videogames in our country is such that fewer people are prone to view game development as a viable creative outlet. This will change as time goes on however, and as the American side of the industry grows and matures our developers' talents will begin to shine forth.

[AB Positive]

Japan is a country obsessed with quality. Japanese developers believe quality makes a game worth buying and will bring the money in. This results in more original games, and sequels to games only when the quality is guaranteed to be high.

America is a country that is only willing to do as well as need be and no more. American developers aren't concerned with the art of the game, but the money a game might bring in regardless of quality. This results in a rehashing of games into constant unoriginal sequels.

This is why Japanese games are better than American ones.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


100 words even. Thank you.


-AG

[WiseSalesman]

My entry is also exactly 100 words.

[mr_jiggles_13]

fist of all we get our games first.....well most but metroid prime and probably MP2 but we got windwaker before all of you! i live in wisconsin and i get my games strait imported from the islands. I also get to read that "goofy language" that most of you think is funny looking. but it is alot tougher than american language because we have 2 alphabets of different characters(symbols)

we have an awesome supply of classic games and items, I get to enjoy it in its original form, and i can get it all delivered to my front door even if i dont currently live on the islands :D


darn mine is 109 words.....can you take it that way Iron Monkey? or should i edit it?

[triumph]

You are an iron nerd, and I poop on you now.

[WiseSalesman]

I also get to read that "goofy language" that most of you think is funny looking. but it is alot tougher than american language because we have 2 alphabets of different characters(symbols)

First of all, there are three character sets (what you call alphabets), not two. Those would be katakana, hiragana, and kanji. Second, Japanese is much EASIER than "American" (also known as, uh, English). The grammar makes much more sense, the conjugations are formulaic, and there are fewer tenses in which words must be placed,

[petewhitley]

I hate Japanese games because I'm too goddamn lazy to learn even Katakana, even though I'm engaged to a hot Japanese girl. Fuck cool Japanese games I can't play. Fuck this contest.

[Flack]

Asian games rule for one reason and one reason only -- the hair. Regardless if it's a fighter, shoot-em-up, or an RPG, you can guarantee that the characters in that game are going to have large, oddly-colored hair. Blue, green, aqua-marine, it doesn't matter. While American game companies continue to focus on exaggerated breasts and booties, the foreign market knows the truth to sexy women: big eyes, school girl outfits, and beautiful, straight or pointy, neon-colored hair.

[scooterb23]

I don't really know why Asian games are better. Imports tend to cost too much , so the only way I'd ever be able to find out how great Asian games are is to be given a whole lot of Asian games...well, it was worth a shot.

Oh, and they make Pachinko games. I like Pachinko.

[Dahne]

Consider Metal Gear Solid.

Now, consider Metal Gear Solid as made by Americans.

No animal nicknames. No bizarre character development. No underlying message about believing in one's self, or for that matter the danger of improperly handled nuclear materials. No story about Naomi and her lost brother, no improbable disguises, no deformed psychics who used to work for the KGB floating around throwing office furniture at you. Definately no cyborg ninja.

It would have sucked dull, complacent white ass.

/bow

[Kroogah]

http://www.watch.impress.co.jp/game/docs/20020225/aou05_15.jpg

Yep, that's my entry.

[kainemaxwell]

http://www.watch.impress.co.jp/game/docs/20020225/aou05_15.jpg

Yep, that's my entry.
Best. Entry. Ever.

[calthaer]

Asian games of the qualities higher, while not made by the small shrimps being the pizza-eaters! Artists of the graphical natures, plus programming technicals and designers of game, in real yen paid and not peanuts like Big American makers of game. Also in Asia no Smart Derek! Much about goodness of game care, and not shovelware produce want. Asia also not having the Hollywoods for poking of license on games of the bad! Much bads is the games of Hollywoods. In small fish, companies of the Asia much qualities also understand, and yen and dollar not only.

[optic_85]

Although there have been many good arguments regarding Asian console games vs. American console games. I would like to address the overall gaming culture in Asia; specifically japan. I went to japan a month ago, and when i was in Tokyo i decided to stroll in to what looked like a small arcade. Once i was in there i realized that there was 7 more floors of games! It was awesome, the flashing neon lights, the sounds of games I'd never seen before, and the excitement of the people playing the games was just intoxicating. In America all the great things about gaming, like 2D games, and arcades are struggling to stay alive. In Asia they flourish.

[BHvrd]

If there was one thing in general I would have to pick about what Asian games do better than others it would have to be the epic storytelling.

No other country can capture the true emotion and deep thought put into their stories. They're the kind of games you can live, get enthralled, and have utter escapism in.

The kind of storytelling that can literally sweep you away, and even enter your dreams. It's truly the most endearing thing about Asian games "to me".

Some truly beautiful musical compositions have been imagined there as well, but i'm out of words...

[Querjek]

Asian games are better than American games because America has Microsoft. Asia has both Nintendo and Sony, plus various other console makers (Bandai for one). All we have is Microsoft and maybe Infinium Labs. We have less good developers here, and Famicom games are smaller than NES games.

[Querjek]

http://www.watch.impress.co.jp/game/docs/20020225/aou05_15.jpg

Yep, that's my entry.
Sorry, but I think the saying is "A picture is worth a thousand words. Not 100 :-P

[davidbrit2]

Ha ha, I like the little "no cameras" sign attached to the machine.

[Oobgarm]

The contest technically ended at 8:00 AM EST, but I'm entering anyway.

Why are Asian games better than domestic (US) ones? While many have brought up valid arguments, I think that the presence of gaming in society gives way to more creativity. Gaming has often had a negative perception in the US, but has been a cultural staple in Japan for quite some time--where a lot of the creativity is based. Those two things are not coincidence. Where do all of these ‘niche’ titles come from, the games that push the envelope and show us how much fun videogames are (and are also OMG RARE in most cases)? Japan, that’s where.

Microsoft Word tells me that I have 100 words written. :D

[Querjek]

When will it find of the winner?

Tomorrow I am hoping.

[SegaAges]

My Response:

Japanese gamers are lucky to have such a wide market for games. Yes, there are many genres of games out in the states, but only 1 or 2 innovative games created in the US. The developers in Japan are all about creativity. 99.9% of all good games currently in the states are only ports of Japanese games. Japanese developers would rather make a game that is a work of art or very innovative, then to make an updated version of last year's American Football game. Japan is flooding the market with games that are 20 steps ahead of American games.

100 words exactly

I think I missed the contest, but I am entering this in anyway.

[Iron Monkey]

Iron Monkey is delays.
Much too many Americans wordings!
A winner is To be CHOSEN is member "O2WILLEM"

Say he:
Super Happy Lucky Smile Asia Game brings length of enjoyment with magnificent operation.
Asia Game is innovate, artistic, difference. Plus more sexy!
USA Game is make money, no more. Crush spirit for profit. All USA Game same. Afraid for change and lose face. No honor.
Operate Asia Game for maximum joy of play. Proceed with vigor! You can not do less!

At to Member "O2WILLEMS" Sends you Address to weakling Digitalpress.
Prize I has Ship West to last Weeks.
CONGRATURATION!

[ManekiNeko]

If this had been a serious contest, AdamG should have won the award, but I must admit that O2William's was the funniest.

JR

[digitalpress]

I'll leave this stickied until tomorrow. O2william, if you see this before it gets unstickied please e-mail me your address so I can send the box of imports your way.

Congrats!

[Querjek]

Hey, O2William, if you need some place to... eh... "store" those Famicom games, give me a holler!

[ManekiNeko]

Hey, O2William, if you need some place to... eh... "store" those Famicom games, give me a holler!

I'd worry about getting that Genesis and those games from Joe first.

JR

[digitalpress]

Hey, O2William, if you need some place to... eh... "store" those Famicom games, give me a holler!

I'd worry about getting that Genesis and those games from Joe first.

JR

Why should he worry about that? He received that stuff ages ago... or am I missing something?

[Querjek]

Hey, O2William, if you need some place to... eh... "store" those Famicom games, give me a holler!

I'd worry about getting that Genesis and those games from Joe first.

JR

Why should he worry about that? He received that stuff ages ago... or am I missing something?
:embarrassed: :embarrassed:
Sorry Maneki, I forgot to PM you... it came a bit ago
:embarrassed: :embarrassed:

[ManekiNeko]

Oh, er, well then carry on.

JR

[o2william]

Well, I don't stop by the forums for a day and look what I miss! (Maybe I should not check them more often? Nah...)

I can't believe my entry was chosen... figured one of the haikus would get it (very clever!). There were lots of funny entries in this one, even if some of them (mine included) did border on blatant cultural stereotyping.

Domo arigato, Iron Monkey-san! You powerful ferrous simian! I also thank Welcoming Cat for compliment!