Raedon
06-28-2004, 01:45 PM
Now that I haven't played in years I feel I can make fun of my old (and hard-core'est) addiction.
1. Everything is camped.
2. Your corpse will always end up halfway inside a mountain, nowhere in sight of the roads, or under a tree.
3. The skeleton in front of you is there to distract you from the kodiak approaching behind you.
4. If your attack is going really well, you are in an ambush.
5. If the MOBs are within range, so are you.
6. The tougher MOBs invariably attack on two occasions:>
- when they're ready.
- when you're not.
7. One MOB is never enough, but two can be entirely too many.
8. The MOB is not retreating; it's just going to get its friends.
9. The Mobs you never encounter when armed and buffed always appear during your corpse run.
10. The MOB you've been camping for hours always spawns 18 seconds
after you leave.
11. Teamwork is essential; it gives the MOBs other people to attack.
12. Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
13. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
14. The greatest danger to your group is a Paladin with a map and a plan.
15. When the going gets tough, the tank gets link dead.
16. A group without healers or bandages is not a group for long.
17. Your buffs will fade when you need them the most.
18. Whenever you have plenty of mana, you never miss. Whenever you are low on mana, every spell fizzles.
19. When in doubt, gate.
20. There is not a single bathroom in all of Norrath.
21. The Armor Class of a piece of armor is inversely proportional as to how good it looks on you.
22. The item that you want the most drops the rarest.
23. The item that you want the most is out of your price range.
24. The item that you want the most was sold at an auction while you were offline.
25. The item that you want the most was picked up by some moron who didn't know the definition of "No Drop".
26. The item you'll need tomorrow is No Rent.
27. The item you accidentally drop will be the most
valuable/powerful/important item you carry.
28. If you can afford it, it's not for sale.
29. If you want two of them, it's a Lore item.
30. If you want to sell it, it's a No Drop item.
31. The High Quality Bear Skin drops every 28 days, the same schedule as PMS. Coincidence?
32. Even greens kill.
33. Backstab means never having to say you're sorry.
34. A bow without arrows seems awfully heavy all of a sudden.
35. Merchants are perfectly capable of kicking tail and taking names.
36. Trains have the right of way.
37. If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.
38. The guards are never there when you need them.
39. Misuse of a combine button in a hurry = highly colorful language. ****Yah, I know this one's a bit out dated****
40. The time it takes to upload the newest patch is directly proportional to your eagerness to log on.
41. No two people have ever agreed on a single, precise definition of a twink.
42. Never forget that your newbie weapon was crafted by the lowest bidder.
43. A role-player drinks to increase his alcohol tolerance; an idiot does it in the Kelethin treetops.
44. Having a tenth of a bubble of health left is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.
45. Gnome wizards are proof positive that size does not matter.
46. The greatest mystery in Norrath is how NPCs figure out what religion you are just by looking at you.
47. Every shaman on Norrath at one point in his or her life has done the pig joke when someone asked for a SOW.
48. Only twelve people in all of Norrath are truly happy with their last names.
49. The last bubble takes forever to fill.
50. It is somehow discouraging to realize that Qeynos is "SonyEQ"
1. Everything is camped.
2. Your corpse will always end up halfway inside a mountain, nowhere in sight of the roads, or under a tree.
3. The skeleton in front of you is there to distract you from the kodiak approaching behind you.
4. If your attack is going really well, you are in an ambush.
5. If the MOBs are within range, so are you.
6. The tougher MOBs invariably attack on two occasions:>
- when they're ready.
- when you're not.
7. One MOB is never enough, but two can be entirely too many.
8. The MOB is not retreating; it's just going to get its friends.
9. The Mobs you never encounter when armed and buffed always appear during your corpse run.
10. The MOB you've been camping for hours always spawns 18 seconds
after you leave.
11. Teamwork is essential; it gives the MOBs other people to attack.
12. Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
13. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
14. The greatest danger to your group is a Paladin with a map and a plan.
15. When the going gets tough, the tank gets link dead.
16. A group without healers or bandages is not a group for long.
17. Your buffs will fade when you need them the most.
18. Whenever you have plenty of mana, you never miss. Whenever you are low on mana, every spell fizzles.
19. When in doubt, gate.
20. There is not a single bathroom in all of Norrath.
21. The Armor Class of a piece of armor is inversely proportional as to how good it looks on you.
22. The item that you want the most drops the rarest.
23. The item that you want the most is out of your price range.
24. The item that you want the most was sold at an auction while you were offline.
25. The item that you want the most was picked up by some moron who didn't know the definition of "No Drop".
26. The item you'll need tomorrow is No Rent.
27. The item you accidentally drop will be the most
valuable/powerful/important item you carry.
28. If you can afford it, it's not for sale.
29. If you want two of them, it's a Lore item.
30. If you want to sell it, it's a No Drop item.
31. The High Quality Bear Skin drops every 28 days, the same schedule as PMS. Coincidence?
32. Even greens kill.
33. Backstab means never having to say you're sorry.
34. A bow without arrows seems awfully heavy all of a sudden.
35. Merchants are perfectly capable of kicking tail and taking names.
36. Trains have the right of way.
37. If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.
38. The guards are never there when you need them.
39. Misuse of a combine button in a hurry = highly colorful language. ****Yah, I know this one's a bit out dated****
40. The time it takes to upload the newest patch is directly proportional to your eagerness to log on.
41. No two people have ever agreed on a single, precise definition of a twink.
42. Never forget that your newbie weapon was crafted by the lowest bidder.
43. A role-player drinks to increase his alcohol tolerance; an idiot does it in the Kelethin treetops.
44. Having a tenth of a bubble of health left is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.
45. Gnome wizards are proof positive that size does not matter.
46. The greatest mystery in Norrath is how NPCs figure out what religion you are just by looking at you.
47. Every shaman on Norrath at one point in his or her life has done the pig joke when someone asked for a SOW.
48. Only twelve people in all of Norrath are truly happy with their last names.
49. The last bubble takes forever to fill.
50. It is somehow discouraging to realize that Qeynos is "SonyEQ"