Super Metroid hurt me

[Kid Ice]

Sometimes bad things happen when you play videogames. Sleepless nights, social isolation, tendonitis, broken controllers, etc. But this time it was different.

Ya see, Super Metroid hurt me.

It hurt me on several levels. I was in a car accident once, and a whole bunch of parts of me hurt something awful, not to mention the psychic pain of losing an automobile at 19 years old, the mental anguish in knowing my folly may have caused others to suffer, the loss of income from a job I could no longer drive to, loss of companionship from the girlfriend who only liked me for my car, and the emotional pain of my mother blaming the whole thing on me.

Super Metroid hurt me in the same way.

A little background here. I'm not a Super Nintendo fan. If you look at my collection, there's a big blank space where the 16 bit games are supposed to be. The only reason I even have a Super Nintendo is Super Mario All Stars. Otherwise, that machine would have been kicked to the trading curb long ago with my TI994A and 32X gear.

So one day, I'm at the local flea and I spot a pile of SNES games. One of the games is Super Metroid. The blue sky flashes red and a robotic voice is heard over an ear-piercing siren; "TRADE BAIT TRADE BAIT TRADE BAIT TRADE BAIT..."

I pick it up for two dollars and into the trade box it goes. A DP game night, a South Jersey Classic, and a NAVA meeting later, no takers.

Then one fine evening, after disposing of a few of the latest PSX budget titles and some non-working MAME fare, I'm stinkin' bored. Super Metroid gets it day in court. And what a day it is! The hype is well earned, the game is a stone cold classic. How did a game this good elude me for so long? For the first time in a forever, I'm coming home night after night to the same game. I'm hooked.

Fast forward to last night. The session gets underway a little later than usual. There's something in the air. Up until this point I'm running roughshod over the game. It can't be this easy. It's not. I'm about to endure a tragedy of gothic proportions.

I'm back in Brinstar. I love it when this happens in a game; I'm back in familiar territory, but this time I'm powered up to the max. High jump boots. Ice beam. Spazer. Super bomb. I'm taking out everything in sight, opening up all this stuff I never even noticed before. I fall through a hole in the floor. To the left is a save area. I save. Run to the right, roll under a low wall, deal with the killable dogs that have the nerve. Come into a narrow room with these three gnome-like thingies. Can't shoot em. Can't freeze em. Can't super bomb em. Who are these guys? They giggle and wall jump to a platform above.

Wall jump?

I didn't know you could wall jump. But how hard could it be? So I try to follow them, but I can't. I can't wall jump. I just can't. I figure there must be some other way to get up there. I wander all over the level for about an hour. The only way to get out of this place is that platform. I already saved so there's no going back.

So I try wall jumping again. The tip of my thumb starts to get sore, so I start pushing the jump button with the bottom part of my thumb. Maybe I'm not supposed to wall jump? I try to bomb jump. I press that bomb button as fast as I can about 5000 times. Now my whole hand is getting sore.

Time to bring in the reinforcements. I run two stories up and consult About.com. Nothing. It just says to wall jump. Back downstairs, back upstairs, Game Faqs, DP, every damn place on the web says just to wall jump or bomb jump. I'm out of breath. I'm sweating. I'm past the point of no return. There's no giving up, no going to bed, no playing Tetris...I'm locked in.

I resort to the most desparate of startegies. I start moving the d-pad and pressing the jump button as fast as I can, while I think about other things. It works! After about 10 minutes of random button mashing, I pull off the wall jump it takes to reach the platform. What a feeling! I morph bomb into a narrow tunnel, roll to the left, and drop down into...where I was before. I have to do it again.

I try to complete the wall jump again. I can't. The evening begins to stretch out. Now both my hands are killing me. I cannot make this wall jump again. That much is clear. I've saved myself into a corner. My trade box asks me if I'm ready to give it back now. NO! Now it's time. Time for the most desparate of all solutions. THE FINAL SOLUTION. THE ONLY SOLUTION. The most desparate act a gamer can ever commit.

Starting from the beginning.

According to the save clock, I'm 3h 15m into the game. I figure at least an hour and a half of that was wasted on first-time floundering. I'm a lean mean Super Metroid machine now. I start a completely new game from scratch.

The pain in my hands, at this point, is so excruciating I have to begin taking five minute breaks. There are times when my vision becomes fuzzy. Tasks that were simple the first time through become barely surmountable.

This second time through the game, I don't seem to be following the same path. I'm seeing stuff I didn't see the first time through. Or did I? Did Samus always shimmer like that? Where did I get that spazer before? Things start falling apart. I start dying and restarting from the last save. This just isn't right. Yeah, it was tough in that wall jump part, but I was super powered up and at least 75% through the game. Now I'm convinced. Starting this new game was an error. It's already 3 in the morning and it's going to take at least another hour to get where I was before.

Back upstairs to Game Faqs. I read every FAQ in its entirety. On my trip back down to the basement I'm bumping into walls and knocking stuff over. I restore the first save. I'm operating the d-pad with my palm at this point. I try different rhythms of morph ball bomb jumping. My contact lenses are peeling back in my eyes. Again, the wall jumping.

I do it! I reach the platform again! And this time I'm not stupid...I find my way to a safe save spot that's not down in a hole. Finally, I can go to bed.

I take a look at the map. There are only a couple blue areas that I haven't seen yet. I'm back in the fun part of the game now, time for a little exploring.

Skip ahead about an hour of pleasant gaming later. I'm in this room. There's a platform one block wide high up above. Straight ahead is an impenetrable wall. What do I need to do to get up to that block? Wall jump. I begin feeling a sharp pain in my head. After about thirty attempts, I wall jump to the block. The only place to go from here is a platform to the right that is blocked off by a steel barrier. I shoot missiles at it and blow off a super bomb. Nothing. I jump toward it hoping something special and wonderful will happen. It doesn't. I wall jump up to the block again after about a dozen attempts. I try the same stuff again. There must be a way to get to the other side...

It's quite hazy from here. All I remember next is jumping out of bed in the most extreme pain I can recall. When I was a child, I did foolish things and consequently suffered extreme pain. Once as I child I pedaled up a four foot ramp on a half assembled bicycle. Jumping off of roofs was not uncommon. But as an adult, I don't expect to endure such pain.

I did what I usually do when I can't sleep and retreated to the couch downstairs. I felt as if I'd been struck by an anvil. I almost never take medicine; I swallowed five Advil last night.

Finally, sleep came to me. And what was waiting there? Dreams. Not good dreams. Not nightmares. What I like to call "problem solving dreams". These usually take the form of losing my car or trying to find my way around an unfamiliar city. Those dreams would have been far preferable to what took place in la-la land last night; an incredibly vivid and disgustingly sweaty rehash of the evening's Super Metroid activities.

I got hurt. To recall it now makes me recoil in fear. Not only do I not plan to ever play the game again, even the thought of ejecting the cartridge from the machine makes me nervous.

Why, Super Metroid, why? I thought you were my friend!

[Phosphor Dot Fossils]

Your first time's free, kid. The next hit'll cost ya. LOL

[fahrvergnugen]

Best post all week.

[Phosphor Dot Fossils]

We need to start a Kid Ice Greatest Hits thread. I also highly recommend this one (http://www.digitpress.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=38592).

[Dahne]

Wow. I've never played games so long that my hands got raw, or my vision blurred. Though, I did once play Spyro (shut up, it's fun) for much too long, then that night I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep for ages because whenever I closed my eyes all I could see was little flying dragons.

[Quintracker]

Very well told account, thanks for the great read!

[bluberry]

If you're actually looking for wall jump help, the trick is to push away from the wall, and then hit the jump button a half second later, NOT to do them simultaneously.

If you end up giving it another shot, good luck! :D

[Berserker]

The day I got Super Mario Bros 3, I played that game until both my eyes and hands hurt like nothing I'd felt up to that point in my short life.

Great story Kid Ice.

[mr_jiggles_13]

when i first rented rampage for N64, i was hooked and i played 2 days straight and played the shit out of the game, my eyes were stuck open and i couldnt close them, so i freaked and blacked out, woke up the next morning rejecting to play rampage, if i had bought it i would have smashed it with a hammer, i also never rent games in fear of getting addicted to them

[Ed Oscuro]

...an incredibly vivid and disgustingly sweaty rehash of the evening's visit with Samus.
with a VENGANCE, ouch!

Well, all I can say is...good job at not figuring out the wall jump! It's so easy! x_x (heh.)

Super Metroid's thing is that you run back and forth looking, looking, looking...you can do any given task twice, but ten times? Hm...starts to become a grind.

Yeah, I think I have those "problem solving" dreams sometimes as well. Ugh. Not great.

[soniko_karuto]

shit, i played fire emblem and front mission from start to end without ever resseting or saving.

i know what kind of dreams Dahne had.

shit i remember sleeping like 2 hours and trying to move the cheerios in turns.

[Avenger]

i played DDR with some friends for a few hours beforei went to work (at the arcade)...so i was there for about 7 hours, watchin ppl play DDR for most of the time...when i got home and went to sleep....all i could picture was arrows flying into the air, faster and faster...so scary @_@

[Stark]

In order to pull off the wall jump you need to think like a girl. Because see at the end of the game there..........ouch ......well you know. 8-)

[DigitalSpace]

Great post.

That place in Brinstar where you have to do a wall jump to get out is a pain in the ass. The first time I played the game, back when I was about 12 years old, I made the mistake of going there. And saving at the same place before doing so. After about half an hour, I gave up, but I had gotten too far ahead to save the game. A couple days later, my cousin came over. He had beat Super Metroid and let me borrow it. I explained what happened. He took the controller, and did a few wall jumps, getting me out of there. I immediately went to another save point and vowed never to go there again.

CHEAT WARNING:
Later in the game, I got the space jump, and forgot all about that vow. LOL

As much as I enjoy Super Metroid (in fact, it's my favorite game of all time), I still can't get that wall jump down. Unlike my cousin, I couldn't do it to save my life, and I've tried, oh how I've tried. The only other thing I can't pull off is getting the missile in Maridia that requires using a speed booster. Well, that and getting 100% of the items in the game (My best is 91%) but that's beyond the point. In fact, every time I play through the game now, I skip going down there until I get the space jump - it makes things a lot easier.

[The_EniGma]

errr u shud really take a break if u are gettng sick its only a game LOL

i played the getaway mission 3 till mythumb was stuck in one position and my head was hurting badly but still i tried more

if i get arthirtis im sueing Team Soho LOL

[FantasiaWHT]

Great story =D


shit i remember sleeping like 2 hours and trying to move the cheerios in turns.

ROFL!!! I once went on a tetrinet binge and couldn't eat my breakfast without staring at the cereal trying to make lines with the lucky charms... it was bad.

Other worst experience like that was the final battle in the first Advance Wars... I played it somewhere between 15-20 times in a row nonstop before I finally beat it... my wife was just getting out of bed and she just gave me this look and I went and crawled into bed full of shame... heh

[DJ_DEEM]

on new years eve one year, me and my buddy started playing the bumper ball mini game in mario party, non stop, and when we finally came up stairs to see how long till the ball dropped they told us it happend like 8 hours before we played for so long we missed EVERYTHING , still one of my best new years ever

same friend had a similar effect with shadow battle on four swords, seriously if its a mini game me and him can play it for litterly 12 hours on end and its always like the first game i belive the quote is " JUST ONE MORE!!!"

my hands are always soooo cramped and sore the next day

[Crush Crawfish]

Don't worry; The wall jump drove me crazy too. I still can't do it properly to this day. If nintendo ever remakes that game I expect them to make it just a tad easier to wall jump...

[Cauterize]

heheh great story... ill have the metroid if u dont want it LOL

[Cmosfm]

Wow, all it needed was a blockbuster ending...


"the next morning I realized suicide was my only option, goodbye my friends...

~The Spirit of Kid Ice"

ROFL

kidding kidding...anyways, only thing I have similar to this was my Gradius 3 boss battle that made me cry. literally.

[QBert]

If you're actually looking for wall jump help, the trick is to push away from the wall, and then hit the jump button a half second later, NOT to do them simultaneously.

If you end up giving it another shot, good luck! :D

I did this too the first time I played it....took me a while too.
Damn games! :angry: hehe

Great Story!

[Mr. Smashy]

Maybe the pain is just God punishing you for using FAQs.
I find the wall jumping to be much easier when I only use 1 wall instead of 2 (like those little green guys). It also helps me get some other cool items earlier in the game.

[Rogmeister]

I agree with the others...great post. I'd like to read more stories like that as well. My first time with Super Metroid was a long session, too...I didn't hurt my hands or anything but I was playing it until dawn...

[rbudrick]

God, I remember when the original Gameboy came out and I played Tetris for so many hours each day for days upon days in a row. I started seeing Tetris shapes EVERYWHERE. It was really tripped out. I'd start seeing them fall from all over the place. The craziest thing about it was that when I closed my eyes, there was a full, lit up tetris game going on with random blocks and everything. Yes, I was playing a Tetris game, using my eyelids as a screen. I mean , when the blocks fell, they stayed there too...I didn't lose track of them. It was like the game code was burned into my head. I could play just about as good a game in my head as I did on the GB, as even the game in my head was difficult, whereas I often lost.

Sometimes when I work for too long on trying to translate some really difficult japanese tesxt, I'll start seeing Kanji shapes all over the place.

-Rob

[Ed Oscuro]

Yes, I was playing a Tetris game, using my eyelids as a screen. I mean , when the blocks fell, they stayed there too...I didn't lose track of them.
Yeah, it's funny how that works...that's not quite proof positive of ghosts and that sort of thing, but if a brain can do this...I've had times where I've seen things "on my eyelids" at random times, cartoon-like characters and such. Fun, but with Tetris I'd imagine it to be a bit scary, too LOL

[Hakkenden]

I once played street Fighter Alpha 3 long enogh to get a blister (no analog)
and I play Tetris so long somtimes that I hear the music endlessly. And even thoght I was going to be shot by people after only playing XII for about 3 days in a row.
But none of that compares to what happened to you ..you poor devil.
I made my brother do the wall jumps for me he was good at them.