Everything I need to know I learned from Robotron 2084

[Anonymous]

Watch where you're going
Stay mobile
It never ends
There's always a way out
You should've gone right when you went left
Sometimes you go for the score, sometimes you just want to
see how far you can go. Neither is better than the other.
Sometimes it's best to run right into the middle of things
95% of the time, the kid in the red shirt is actually a robot
bent on destroying you.
The Lady surrounded by Hulks isn't worth it.
If you get greedy, the robots will shoot you in the back
Somebody turned up the difficulty while you were away
Don't run and shoot in the same direction
Find out which one the Brain Robots are going for and protect
that person at all costs.
There's only one shooting robot left, but if you die, the red ring
spawns at least three more of the bastards.
The hit detection is better in this game is better than any 3D game
out there.
I can't stop playing this game.



Words to live by. Yessiree.

[Captain Wrong]

Sometimes the right hand really doesn't know what the left hand is doing
Kicking the machine is good stress relief, but it won't help you win
Walking brains are bad
Saving people is good
No matter how good your high scores is, someone is going to beat it

[NE146]

Robotron seems to be the one videogame proven to be just as fun and intense as it was when it was new and year after year after year, and always remains a challenge.

[Arcade Antics]

I always knew Fluke was one of those guys who "gets it."

So true. So very true.

"Everyone knows [videogames] attained perfection in [1982]. It's a scientific fact."

- Homer Simpson, actually talking about rock music, but it's applicable here too, darnit!

[Captain Wrong]

Yeah, and fluke happens to be one of those guys who has a Robotron machine at work, the bastard!

[Anonymous]

Mwa ha ha ha haaa.

I'm a martyr. I love the game, but I play for all those poor bastard who can't get to a machine everyday. For all the children who can't reach the twin sticks yet, and all the old men who keep thinking the transistor thingies are points. Plus that game really does have it's meat hooks in me.

[Captain Wrong]

*sniff sniff*

You're my hero fluke.

[NE146]

You aint really a man until you score you're first million on difficulty level 5 ^_^

the highest level is a whole other story though :/

[Anonymous]

Right now the machine's at 8 or 9 (I think, it's one notch down from the highest difficulty level), with extra lives at like 40,000 points or something. The best I've ever done is 453,000 points at that setting.

I find that my scores indicate my day, based on a four star scale.

0 - 100,000 = 1 star day
100,001 - 200,000 = 2 star day
200,001 - 300,000 = 3 star day
300,001 - and up = 4 star day

Depending on how I die, it says what I'm going to make of the day:

Surrounded by Hulks and pelted with tank bot bullets = on top of things

Surrounded by grunts = overwhelmed, busy day

Zapped by star shooting bots = average day

Zapped by star shooting bot when there's three left so that when you start over there's three bot generators that make a bunch of new star shooting bots = Keep a low profile, cuz someone's gunning for you

Zapped by star shooting bot when there's three left so that when you start over there's three bot generators that make a bunch of new star shooting bots and then the same thing happens again = There's nothing you can do, just shoot yourself right now

Zapped by star shooting bot when there's three left so that when you start over there's three bot generators that make a bunch of new star shooting bots and then a bot generator runs into you = Don't move until midnight

Get hit by brainwashed human = gonna be stabbed in the back (This rarely/never happens)

Die stupidly trying to protect Mikey even though he spawned inside a pack of like 8 brains = much needless suffering will occur today

Run into Grunt thinking it's mikey = might be a few mistakes today

Run into Grunt that was hidden because of the chaos = something bad's gonna happen out of the blue

Run into Grunt = Gonna be stupid today

Run into Hulk = Gonna be stupid and clumsy today

Run into Brain Bot = Probably the apocalypse, cuz this has never happened

Run into bot generator/Brain snake = Hold on tight cuz there's nothing you can do

Run into Stationary Obstacle = Get back into bed and wait for tomorrow


(BTW, this was going to be a list of like 5 things, but it just kept growing, oh well)

[Phosphor Dot Fossils]

Y'see, I know that it's all gonna end in tears, and then we have to play Blaster.

Am I the only person who ever thought someone should try to carve a movie script out of Robotron and Blaster? In my mind's eye, a Robotron battle scene on film would simply lay the Episode II Jedi arena battle to waste.

[Arcade Antics]

Y'see, I know that it's all gonna end in tears, and then we have to play Blaster.

Blaster rocks. And it's proof that somewhere, beyond all the crap, is paradise. :wink:


Am I the only person who ever thought someone should try to carve a movie script out of Robotron and Blaster?

Er, yes. Yes you are. I might have considered it, if the Blaster machine I played wasn't one of those duramold cabs. It ejected the monitor right into my temple, and the rest, after the twirling ballerinas, is all a blur.

[NE146]

Am I the only person who ever thought someone should try to carve a movie script out of Robotron and Blaster?

That aint too far fetched an idea seeing how Blaster is a sort of continuation of the Robotron storyline (based upon the attract screen text). :P It's got sort of a Battlestar Galactica feel to it dont you think? ;)
http://www.users.qwest.net/~userid946/blas0000.png

[Anonymous]

I've never played blaster

*Ducks*

[Arcade Antics]

I've never played blaster

*Ducks*

Are you ducking the monitor that would have been hurled at you by the machine itself? :lol:

Blaster rocks. It just ROCKS. You *need* to play it.

Same idea as robotron, blast everything, save the humanoids... but a precursor to Space Harrier with really trippy stuff all around. Kickass graphics.

And it's brought to you by the letter "E."

Well, sort of. Just go play it. Did I mention that it ROCKS?

:D

[Anonymous]

*looks at emulation forum*

*looks at stomach resting in comfy chair*

I'm too lazy to get up and go over to the emulation forum. so...
Is it emulated?

[Arcade Antics]

Where d'ya think NE1 got the screen capture? :wink:

It's also available on the Midway AGH2 PSX disc. Best $45 I ever spent.

[ROBOTRON]

I have but one thing to say to you sir.....

"If this were a civilized world...you would be king."

Robotron Rulez!!!

[kainemaxwell]

A decent update to Robotron is long overdue.

[Arcade Antics]

A decent update to Robotron is long overdue.

Whasamatter? You don't like Smash TV or Total Carnage? 8)

Short of those two games, there's no point in updating Robotron, because it's the Best. Game. Ever.

[ubersaurus]

There was that decent one on N64...it coulda been worse, I guess.

I didn't realize Blaster had any relation to robotron until I read that blurb that got posted here. Good game, but dammit, where's the connection?

[NE146]

There was that decent one on N64...it coulda been worse, I guess.

I didn't realize Blaster had any relation to robotron until I read that blurb that got posted here. Good game, but dammit, where's the connection?

Aside from the blurb, it was co-designed by Eugene Jarvis, which is a pretty strong connection right there. :D

[slapdash]

I didn't realize Blaster had any relation to robotron until I read that blurb that got posted here. Good game, but dammit, where's the connection?

Aside from the blurb, it was co-designed by Eugene Jarvis, which is a pretty strong connection right there. :D[/quote]

3 comments:

1) I love Robotron, and do think that it may be the height of game design, at least for the classic era -- intense play, wonderful sounds & graphics, great control. Oh yeah!

2) I never got to play Blaster either -- never saw a machine, and haven't made the effort to get MacMAME running since I've never had the time to configure it, download ROMs and play.

3) I've met Eugene Jarvis. He swears like a sailor. My hero.