bolls to direct fear effect movie

[pragmatic insanester]

-watches as any attempt to revive the series get downs syndrome-

http://imdb.com/title/tt0461661/

EYES LESBAYAN. WE AINT NEVA SCARD.

[Rogmeister]

What's the easiest and quickest way to make sure a video game-based movie will be absolute crap? Sign Uwe Boll as director... :/

[Cryomancer]

http://uweboll.com/

[pragmatic insanester]

who made that peach artwork anyhow?

[Cryomancer]

I have no clue actually. i just have it.

[pragmatic insanester]

-pervs out- was the side view the only option? i want to know if the princess has peach fuzz. :D

[Yamazaki]

Forget senat, censors etc etc the bigges thread to the gaming world is this guy who rapes our beloved titles!!

[googlefest1]

I haven't seen any of his movies - what does he do that everyone is complaining about

[Mr.FoodMonster]

What I dont get is why he keeps getting signed to do all these movies... EVERYTHING HE HAS EVER MADE SUCKS BAD. Its almost not fair.

[Yamazaki]

Imagine Mario getting ass-rimmedby Luigi while deliviring a blowjob to Bowser. You'll get the same sensation when you watch his movies.

[Slimedog]

Why do they keep signing him? Do these movies actually make money? I was under the impression that all of his films have been hideous piles. Is the desire by studios to ensure below average profits enough to warrent handing over another frachise for Uwe to slaughter? RE is an example of how a game movie can be decent quality without having to sign Ridley Scott to the project.

[googlefest1]

Imagine Mario getting ass-rimmedby Luigi while deliviring a blowjob to Bowser. You'll get the same sensation when you watch his movies.


i think you described somthing some people here would like to see

-----

is it that he changes the story around?

mabey signing him to some movie involved more than one movie in the same contract

[howdoin]

What I dont get is why he keeps getting signed to do all these movies... EVERYTHING HE HAS EVER MADE SUCKS BAD. Its almost not fair.

"They" keep signing him because he is also a producer... the real question is why are companies continuing to sell the rights of their games to him (And the answer is most likely $$$) = conclusion Uwe Boll will continue to make movies that noone watches for a long time and will become the Roger Corman of our times (minus the "cult" following).

[GarrettCRW]

I highly suspect that these movies Boll unleashes upon the masses are quite profitable, especially once they hit video. That, and the fact that these movies seem to be based on games by smaller companies (read: they won't necessarily be turning down the highest bid) means that Bollis going to be gainfully employed for quite some time.

[Damion]

Me to Uwe boil

:popcorn: :bad-words: :frustrated: :snipersmile: :rockets: :fist: :fist: :texaschain:

I watch it, I get pissed and yell bad words at the screen, get more frustrated, Find him, Shot him up, Blow him up, Flip his body off, then cut up the rest.

and he still keeps coming back :grumble:

Personally I hope his carrer dies the most horriable death imaginable.

[The Plucky Little Ninja]

Just watch as twenty years down the road some film student "discovers" Uwe Boll and writes a thesis on how he was a master craftsman who went unappreciated in his own time. A huge following will then arise full of people who knew all along what a genius he was and how his films were simply too far ahead of the curve for the masses of yesteryear.

I can honestly say I've watched some of Uwe's films in slack-jawed wonder. I wonder how the FUCK he makes enough damn money to keep financing these things.

Did anyone sit through "House of the Dead?"

THERE WAS NO FUCKING HOUSE!!

The closest he got was that little shack they hid in for all of 2 minutes.

Anyone who's looking for a few minutes of quality entertainment, check out the Rotten Tomatoes page for HotD. It's classic.

[Haoie]

I'll just ask what everyone's been thinking. Where are the lesbians?

[Rogmeister]

I might go see it...if he gets Angelina Jolie and Jessica Alba to star in it...

[pragmatic insanester]

i rented hotd expecting a low-quality zombie movie to stimulate me for 90 mins. i watched it to the end hoping that some miracle would flutter onto the television and justify my $3.50 being sodomized. no such thing occured.

backwoods wasn't terrible. i would watch alone in the dark if someone gave it to me (aka, free), mostly for morbid curiousity. poor steven dorff - he was fucking deacon frost for chrissakes.

[Cryomancer]

-pervs out- was the side view the only option? i want to know if the princess has peach fuzz. :D

Check out my thread in the pub.

[Alucard]

The only bad thing about it all is that the movies had potential to be great movies, but he had to make them! He sucks so bad it's unbelievalble! Oh well, he's going to keep doing it so there is more than nothing we can do really. If I ever had a chance to make a video game movie, I would make it be the best it could be. :D

[Push Upstairs]

Did anyone sit through "House of the Dead?"

No, the only really somewhat interesting part was the "slow mo jiggling breasts"...but that was in the trailer, so there was no need to see the whole movie.

There was some stupid "dramatic" scenes that had me groaning and rolling my eyes...i'm suprised even one person bothered to see this movie.

[Cryomancer]

I actually saw house of the dead in the theater.

Now, I for one was highly amsued by the apparently sega-sponsored island rave. TITTIES TITTIES TITTIES SEGA TITTIES SEGA TITTIES TITTIES. That made me laugh.

The thing at the end where it ALMOST KINDA ties into the game was sorta cool. This one gets a degree of legroom for not following the games since it's supposedly the story that happens before the games. Supposedly.

Personally I think we need to have a crazy purist director making game movies. DOOM would be in 1st person, with a HUD, and The Rock sitting there doing little facial animations as he takes damage in the movie. That'd be interesting if nothing else.

[DeuZZ]

http://www.imdb.com/gallery/ss/0383222/iid_915759.jpg

The Bloodrayne movie is gonna rock (not).

[Oobgarm]

I haven't seen any of his movies - what does he do that everyone is complaining about

I would suggest going out and renting House of the Dead and Alone in the Dark. I personally challenge you to sit through them both in their entiritey. If you like B-movie grade schlock then you might make it through them.

:shudders:

[SirDrexl]

Sorry for more bad news, but I bet you all can't wait for the Dungeon Siege movie:
Jason Statham and Leelee Sobieski are set to headline the cast of director Uwe Boll's $60 million adaptation of the sword-and-sorcery video game Dungeon Siege, which begins filming Sunday in Vancouver until mid-September.

The Hollywood Reporter says Statham (The Transporter, Cellular) plays the film's hero, Farmer, and Sobieski (Eyes Wide Shut, Max) has been cast as Muriella, daughter of the court sorcerer Merrick (John Rhys Davies of "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy).

Also starring are Ron Perlman (Hellboy) as Norick, Farmer's friend; Matthew Lillard ("Scooby-Doo" films) as Duke Fallow; Burt Reynolds (The Longest Yard) as King Konreid; and Kristanna Loken (Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines) as Elora, an enchanted tree-like creature whose support proves critical to Farmer.

The film is based on developer Gas Powered Games' best-selling fantasy PC game franchise, which was published by Microsoft Game Studios, and follows the journey of Farmer from simple family man to heroic prince. Amidst a fantasy backdrop of war in the Kingdom of Ehb between the evil Gallian and the ruling King Konreid, Farmer sets out to find his kidnapped wife, Solana, and avenge the death of his son, who was killed by animal warriors called Krugs.

The film, which does not have a distributor, will be ready for release as early as late summer 2006. Boll also is developing movies based on video games "Far Cry," "Hunter: The Reckoning" and "Fear Effect."

Wow. Just... wow. Lillard aside, this one actually has a decent cast.

[Rogmeister]

Yeah, and Bonfire of the Vanities had a good cast, too.

Yoiks!

Seriously, while I've never seen any of Boll's movies, what I've heard doesn't exactly having me reserve an advance ticket...

[Oobgarm]

Dungeon Siege?

Jason Statham could actually make the movie worth watching. Maybe.

But it'll have the BANDIT in there. Can't go wrong with that. LOL

[Yamazaki]

Far Cry???!!!!!

I refuse to watch it if they don't include Micheal Dudikoff as the hero.


Most of the action games share actually the same stories the B-Action Movies 20 years ag had. So why new ones?


PS: Is there actually a game for American Fighter/Ninja ?