sniperCCJVQ
01-16-2003, 02:42 PM
I was clean some of my archive stuff, and i came accros this, i don't remember who and when this was release on the net.
34 things i learned from video games
=========================
1- There is no problem that cannot be overcome by violence.
2- You can overcome most adversaries simply by having enough quarters.
3- If it moves KILL IT !
4- Piloting any vehicle is simple and requires no training.
5- One lone "good guy" can defeat an indeterminate numbers of "bad guys".
5A- "Bad guys" move in predictable patterns
5B- Except for "bosses", most "bad guys" can be dispatched with one hit.
5C- You often fare better against a large mob of "bad guys" then against a "boss" in one on one combat
6- "Bosses" always hire henchmen weaker then they are to do their " muscle work"
7- If you see food lying on the ground, eat it
8- You can smash things and get away with it
8A- Smashing things doesn't hurt
8B- Many nicce things are hidden inside other things
9- Cybernetics are our friends
10- When driving, you can knock other vehicles off road and get away with it.
11- If someone dies, they disappear
12- Money is frequently found lying on the streets
13- All shopkeepers carry high-tech weaponry
14- If you get mad enough, you can fight ever better than normal
15- If it's on the ground you should get it
16- Repulsive, ugly, cannabalistic, evil beings have just as much right to be loved as heroic fighters
17- The operation of a weapon is a simple and obvious procedure
18- You never run out of ammunition, just grenades
19- No matter how long you fight you can always fight again
20- Death is reversible (bu only for you !)
21- Ninjas are common and fight in public frequently
22- Whenever huge fat evil men are about to die, they begin flashing
red or yellow
23- When you are born, you drop out of the sky (a stork?) and are completely invincible for a short time
24- Although the ennemy always has more aircraft tha you , they fly in elaborate patterns which make it easier for you to shoot them all down
25- All martial (marital ?) arts women wear revealing clothes and have great bodies
26- All martial art men have rippling muscles and angry expressions
27- The ennemy always leaves weapons or powerups lying around for no reason other than so their bitter enemy can pick them up and defeat them with it.
28- Shoot everything ! if it blows up or dies, it was evil. If it doesn't, try and pick it up, it was probably a powerup or a bonus.
29- Carpe Diem ! you only live three times !
30- The most powerful figther always wait until you have acheived a near-impossible, flawless win record and/or killed a certain number of opponents before they appear in you presence and beat the crap out of you
31- You sustain injury if you shoot innocents
32- 200-1 odds against you is NOT a problem
34 things i learned from video games
=========================
1- There is no problem that cannot be overcome by violence.
2- You can overcome most adversaries simply by having enough quarters.
3- If it moves KILL IT !
4- Piloting any vehicle is simple and requires no training.
5- One lone "good guy" can defeat an indeterminate numbers of "bad guys".
5A- "Bad guys" move in predictable patterns
5B- Except for "bosses", most "bad guys" can be dispatched with one hit.
5C- You often fare better against a large mob of "bad guys" then against a "boss" in one on one combat
6- "Bosses" always hire henchmen weaker then they are to do their " muscle work"
7- If you see food lying on the ground, eat it
8- You can smash things and get away with it
8A- Smashing things doesn't hurt
8B- Many nicce things are hidden inside other things
9- Cybernetics are our friends
10- When driving, you can knock other vehicles off road and get away with it.
11- If someone dies, they disappear
12- Money is frequently found lying on the streets
13- All shopkeepers carry high-tech weaponry
14- If you get mad enough, you can fight ever better than normal
15- If it's on the ground you should get it
16- Repulsive, ugly, cannabalistic, evil beings have just as much right to be loved as heroic fighters
17- The operation of a weapon is a simple and obvious procedure
18- You never run out of ammunition, just grenades
19- No matter how long you fight you can always fight again
20- Death is reversible (bu only for you !)
21- Ninjas are common and fight in public frequently
22- Whenever huge fat evil men are about to die, they begin flashing
red or yellow
23- When you are born, you drop out of the sky (a stork?) and are completely invincible for a short time
24- Although the ennemy always has more aircraft tha you , they fly in elaborate patterns which make it easier for you to shoot them all down
25- All martial (marital ?) arts women wear revealing clothes and have great bodies
26- All martial art men have rippling muscles and angry expressions
27- The ennemy always leaves weapons or powerups lying around for no reason other than so their bitter enemy can pick them up and defeat them with it.
28- Shoot everything ! if it blows up or dies, it was evil. If it doesn't, try and pick it up, it was probably a powerup or a bonus.
29- Carpe Diem ! you only live three times !
30- The most powerful figther always wait until you have acheived a near-impossible, flawless win record and/or killed a certain number of opponents before they appear in you presence and beat the crap out of you
31- You sustain injury if you shoot innocents
32- 200-1 odds against you is NOT a problem