Video Game Reviews In Five Words Or Less

[Gapporin]

Remember that one website that had reviews of all movies in under five words or less?* I figured that the same thought could be applied to video games as well. So, here's your task: Review or describe a video game in five words or less. They can be funny, serious, whatever. I'll start with a few:

3-D Worldrunner - Is that you, Space Harrier?

Elevator Action - Down, down. Grab the documents!

Gradius - Effin' hard shooter. Power-ups, please!

Ninja Gaiden - Ryu Hayabusa inherits ugly statue.

Rush'n Attack - Punch, walk. Punch, walk. Yawn.

Eh, I think you get the picture now. Knock yourself out!

* = If so, please tell me the URL, I seem to have forgotten it.

[devils advocate]

Shaq Fu : Shit Fu

Madden 96 : The only choice! Sadly.

Extreme G : Extreme fog.

Ridge Racer V : Jaggie racer V

Cubivore : A what-i-vore?

[Sothy]

rush n attack was radass dude.

We used to switch between that and Punchout for hours at a time.

[McBacon]

Madden 2006 - Oh God! Not another!

Donkey Konga - What? I smack these drums?

Shenmue 2 - Boring and awful but EXCELLENT!

[pacmanhat]

Killer7 - No Gameplay, Still Kicks Ass.
Alien Hominid - Shoot, die, die, die, die.
Final Fantasy VII - Spoiler Alert: Aeris gets killed.
White Men Can't Jump - Not a game, only torture.

[maxlords]

X-Men (NES) - Bite my shiny metal ass!

[sabre2922]

Resident Evil 2 (PSone,DC,gamecube)- waaaaaay overated DEAL WITH IT

Final Fantasy 8(PSX)- sucks a$$ move on

Shenmue(DC)- The TRUE REVOLUTION

ICO(PS2)-play it experience it

Starcraft(PC)- Greatest PC game ever made

[anagrama]

Perfect Dark: Not as good as Goldeneye.

[InsaneDavid]

Capcom Generation 1 - 1942, 1943, 1943 Kai. Excellent.

any Gradius game ever - Shoot the core!

Super Mario Sunshine - Nintendo, we aren't that desperate.

Sega Classics Collection - Don't listen to the reviews.

Daytona USA - Since 1992, Hornet High-Class. ;)

Metal Gear Solid series - La-le-lu-le-lo.

[sabre2922]

Sega Classics Collection - Don't listen to the reviews< Yes agreed that was going to be one of mine ;)

[Flack]

The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction - Hulk Smash.

Only 2 words needed.

[MegaDrive20XX]

Capcom Generations Vol. 2 - There's a graveyard aaaand weeeeeee!! ^_^

Ghouls N Ghosts (Genesis) Holy crap! I got armor!

Super Ghouls N Ghosts (SNES)- He can double jump! COOL!!

Ghosts N Goblins (NES)- OMG Ladders SUCK!!

and then I saw R2-D2 and he was like Weeee *BLEEP*!

[boatofcar]

Sonic the Hedgehog - Hold right press A

[pragmatic insanester]

ghost in the shell (ps1) - dislike gameplay? original footage

siren (ps2) - hard. damn brits. want sequel.

tobal no. 1 (ps1) - ignored for demo. bye sequel!

[s1lence]

Final Fantasy X : Go get some movie snacks

[davidbrit2]

Yanya Caballista: Goku's Moon Skater
(I can't take credit for that one.)

Outrun 2/Outrun 2 SP: UNF UNF UNF UNF UNF
;-)

[Rogmeister]

MVP Baseball 2005 (or any baseball game)--Hit the ball and run!

Outlaw Golf--Swing, putt, attack your caddy!

Any Final Fantasy Game--What??? Another one??!!!

Spider-Man--Beat villains, kiss Mary Jane!

Superman 64--Worst...game...ever!

Super Punch-Out--Uppercut, uppercut, body blow!

[blissfulnoise]

Darius (Series): A Huge Battleship "OMGWEALLGONNADIE!!!!!!!!!!!" Approaches

Radiant Silvergun: Hold up.... is that Jesus?

Guardian Legend: I wish MY girlfriend transformed...

Killer7: In the name of Harmen.

Ecco the Dolphin: Thanks for all the fish!

Golgo 13: Top Secret Episode: "..."

Altered Beast: Wize from yo gwave!

Pro Wrestling: A winner is you!

The Legend of Zelda: Eastmost peninsula is the secret.

God of War: Man, that guy is PISSED!

Phantasy Star 2: They totally killed off Nei.

Feel the Magic XY/XX: Snake!

Rez: Mmmm.... mmmm.... ahh... *bzzzzzzzzz* ... OHHH!

Zero Wing: What you say?

[Cmosfm]

Prince Of Persia: Warrior Within: Glitchy as a mother fucker.

[evil_genius]

SOCOM II Online: What the fuck?! That's bullshit!!

[otterpop]

Nintendogs: Pet. Walk. Bathe. Frisbee. Repeat.
Zoo Keeper: Bejeweled.
Culdcept: Magic the Gathering plus Monopoly.
Super Monkey Ball: When Dole sponsors video games.
Crazy Taxi: Glamorizes life of taxi driver.
Karaoke Revolution: Public embarrassment can be fun!

[Muscelli]

street fighter the movie- Shit Trash Poopy Bad HORRID

Astal- Georgous 2d sidescroller

[Aussie2B]

Legacy of the Wizard: There are crowns in this?
Getter Love: I love panda pelvic thrusts!
Katamari Damacy: I can feel the cosmos.
Cabal: Soldiers dance on your grave.
Captain Planet: Ed Asner is very disappointed.
Lee Trevino's Fighting Golf: Where is the fighting, Lee?
Spelunker: Chevy Chase likes exploring caves.
Bob the Builder: Can We Fix It?: No, you can't.
Loaded: Load in my pants.
Men in Black - The Series: Crashdown: Crash and burn.
Parasite Eve II: More than a shower scene!
Cho Aniki series: MEEEEN'S BEEEAAAMMMMMM!!!

[sealboy6]

Final Fantasy X : Go get some movie snacks

Xenosaga: Episode 1- Go get some movie snacks

[njiska]

Alone in the Dark - Attack of the Walking Polygons.
FFVII - Graphics make your eye's bleed.
The Getaway - 40+ Glitches can't be right.
MGS3 - Ooooooooo
Resident Evil 4 - George A. Romero on Crack
Contra - Better learn the Konami Code.
Contra: Shatred Soldier: See Contra
Killer 7 - Gameplay? Blah. Story? F'ing amazing
Dead or Alive Series - Balance and Big Titties.
Enter the Matrix - Acid Required
Double Dragon - Punch, Kick, Rinse, Repeat.
Big Rig: Over the Road Racing - No sound, AI or point.
Aquaman - Better then Big Rig

[Cafeman]

Hulk the movie game: Banner ponders while Hulk Smashes.
Hulk Ultimate Destruction: All right! No more Banner!
Spider-Man 2: Jump off the highest building!

Pac-Man: Eat dots and avoid ghosts.
Ms Pac-Man: Eat dots and chase fruit.
2600 Pac-man: Eat wafers and watch flickering.
2600 E.T.: Eat Reeses, fall in holes.


Joust: Flap Flap Flap Flap Flap!
Rumble Roses: Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap!

Beyond Good & Evil: That fat pig has gas.
Zelda TWW: Those little pigs have gas.

Rallisport Challenge 2: thanks for the white button
Wario Ware: Press A, snicker, repeat

Flashback: Quest for Identity: CD game in a cartridge!

[kainemaxwell]

Xenosaga Episode 1: The movie's better.

Katamari Damacy: Rolling balls is fun.

[hegyak]

Initial D: Arcade Stage: More addictive then drugs.
Wetrix: Build lakes, Fill lakes repeat.
Phantasy Star Online: first MMORPG
Virtua Racing (Deluxe Arcade): Almost realstic, lots of polygons.
SF Rush 2049: Future of racing
Turbo: Pass grandma
Wally wo Sagase!: Find wally or waldo.
Smash TV: Just Halo's library
Hang-On: Ride the Bike
Dig-Dug: Blow-up enemies with bike pump
Daytona USA (Arcade): Sega's Best retro racer
Emergency call amublance(Arcade): Don't Crash the ambulance
Bonanza Bros. (Arcade): Simple side scroller with twist.
After Burner (Arcade): Fly F14, Blow stuff up
Police 911 2: Physically duck and dodge, shoot
Propeller arena: Fly plane, Shoot down planes.
Half-Life: Long and enjoyable FPS
Halo: Xenoside aliens, avoid library.