Man has FIVE Xbox 360's, will trade for female lovin'

[fishsandwich]

:D

I hope no one finds this offensive... I have edited it a small bit in the interest of good taste.

I found this posting while on Craig's List while looking at the going rate for 360's...


I am a 34 year old man with brown hair and eyes. Average build and only slightly above average --------.

Because of what I do for a living, I have 5 Xbox machines with about 10 games each. And I have absolutely no use for these machines! Personally I don't really like em. But I do like the ladies.

So if you are an attractive female and willing to let me explore a little in a no strings attached bit of adult fun. I'm willing to give you a machine.

As long as you aren't fat or really hard to look at. I really don't care too much about looks. Average will be fine. What I do care about is how much your willing to do. (I'm hoping to be able to give 2 or more away at the same time)

So email me a photo and tell me what my limits are. (No I'm not looking for cyber or steamy email stuff. Just tell me what I would be allowed to do.) The only bonus points are ----------.



That's it. I have to give this clown props for... well, I'm not sure what I'm giving him props for. Creepiness?

Link...

http://atlanta.craigslist.org/cas/120977114.html

Mod's, please feel free to delete this post if it gives you the hebbies.

http://roxanne.typepad.com/rantrave/images/yucky.jpg

[Darth Sensei]

I can't believe George Bush is posting ads like this. :D

[Jumpman Jr.]

As long as you aren't fat or really hard to look at. I really don't care too much about looks.

Now there's class right there

[Johnny_Rock]

Well im not a lady but id do it.

[rbudrick]

Well im not a lady but id do it.

Yeah, but what are your limits? PM me.

Kidding, dude. Don't ever PM me. ;)

-Rob

[Joker T]

That is one very desperate man LOL

[Neil Koch]

He could just sell the 360's on Ebay and then use the proceeds to go to Vegas and get a professional if he's that desperate. Even at just retail value, 5 360's and 50 games would make for a real fun weekend.

I'm kind of sensing that this is a fake ad though.

[Snapple]

I think this is a sneaky way of soliciting prostitutes without trying to look like a guy who's paying for sex.

[JJNova]

He could just sell the 360's on Ebay and then use the proceeds to go to Vegas and get a professional if he's that desperate. Even at just retail value, 5 360's and 50 games would make for a real fun weekend.

I'm kind of sensing that this is a fake ad though.

His post doesn't say anythign about an Xbox 360 in the excerpt above, and I was too lazy to see if it says X360 in the original. So maybe he is giving away a Regular Xbox with 10 games for some backdoor action.

[fishsandwich]

I'm kind of sensing that this is a fake ad though.

I personally think it's real. I think he's a nerd in the industry who's probably not very attractive and has very little luck with women (duh.) He got himself five Xbox 360's (it's listed as a 360 in the headline) and he's trading them for "favors."

I don't know what else to say. I think I should say that I admire him for something, but I don't know what that something is. Oh, well. It's not that sad, really. What would be sad would be someone actually showing up for the trade.

You're right... he's do much better selling his Xboxes on ebay or crais list or something and just getting an escort. We have loads of them here in Atlanta. Just pick up any Creative Loafing (widely-read free paper) and there are at least 200+ ads for "companions."

:lovin: :pimp: :snuggle: :bareass: :dance:

[smokehouse]

He could just sell the 360's on Ebay and then use the proceeds to go to Vegas and get a professional if he's that desperate. Even at just retail value, 5 360's and 50 games would make for a real fun weekend.

I'm kind of sensing that this is a fake ad though.

BINGO, he want's some action, get the $$ and go to Vegas. I imagine he'd be able to find just about anything he wants out there.

Again, that's if this is not a fake.

[unwinddesign]

Isn't this prostitution? :/

[smokehouse]

Isn't this prostitution? :/

That's what I see it as. If this guy for real he could find himself in deep trouble.

[rbudrick]

People pay for sex? I thought they payed them to leave after the sex...

-Rob

[Push Upstairs]

BINGO, he want's some action, get the $$ and go to Vegas. I imagine he'd be able to find just about anything he wants out there.

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.


Just sell the damn things and go get a high class hooker in Vegas...case closed.


Still sad that he must "bribe" people to be with him.

[-hellvin-]

Hahaha, funny little article. I like the part where he kind of hints at the desire for a threesome.

[Biff_McFresh]

Maybe he has the right idea, prices at "The Bunny Ranch" in Vegas are absurd (from what I recall seeing on the Stern show). Plus maybe he doesn't wish to travel.

For the record, I'd clean his pipes for a console.

Like actual plumbing work, sicko.

[Lemmy Kilmister]

Yes, because there's a huge percentage of attractive women willing to have sex with a complete stranger for a Xbox 360 surfing Craig's List.

What a knucklehead.

[Lothars]

it's really pathetic that ad

espeically when it seems like he is posting on craiglist for it but just doing it in general is pretty pathetic.

[lendelin]

I'm offended by this ad. How in the world can a guy give away a precious gamesystem for some sex? This is outrageous. Keep the systems!!

On the other end of the bargain, a bit of sex and I'd get a game system? Anytime. That is a very good trade.

(Alert: Depends however what the guy demands and has in mind. The talk about 'limits' hints that it goes in the direction of heavy s/m and maybe even more explicit fantasies.)

[lendelin]

Isn't this prostitution? :/

Of course it is. It's the oldest business in the world. The second oldest is corruption in politics.

[Push Upstairs]

Yes, because there's a huge percentage of attractive women willing to have sex with a complete stranger for a Xbox 360 surfing Craig's List.

What a knucklehead.

You didnt know super hot bi-curious women do nothing but surf Craig's List and desire the newly released 360? And are willing to share themselves and thier equally hot "friend" for one night with any man willing to part with his 360?


WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!! LOL

[TheRedEye]

He could just sell the 360's on Ebay and then use the proceeds to go to Vegas and get a professional if he's that desperate. Even at just retail value, 5 360's and 50 games would make for a real fun weekend.

I'm kind of sensing that this is a fake ad though.

Well, they're hovering around the $500 mark on eBay, which isn't much for a "professional" prostitute. If we're talking legal prostitution, he can go to Pahrump and have some boring missionary with one of the uglier girls at the Chicken Ranch for about that much. But this is a man looking for more than that, he's obviously into the kinky stuff, which is going to cost a whole hell of a lot more for a "professional." And seeing that his asking price is one Xbox 360 per kinky sex act, well, $500 isn't going to cut it on any sort of professional level, be it legal prostitution in Pahrump ($500 for bad sex) or gray area "escort services" in Vegas (a hell of a lot more than that).

He can probably pick someone up off the streets in Vegas, maybe downtown, and get what he wants for $500, but he runs several risks there, the least of which is gunpoint robbery. Not to even mention potential diseases and penises. Trannies in Vegas can look pretty good.

So with his desired price of one Xbox 360 unit per kinky sex act, he would not get much value in Vegas. He's better off staying home.

Now, what you seem to be suggesting above is that he combine proceeds from selling everything and have one amazing weekend. For the sake of argument, we'll price the 360 units at $525, and the games at $35 each. Now we're at roughly $4,375. Let's automatically subtract, what, $200 for eBay fees? So that's $4,175.

Now, he needs to fly from Altanta to Vegas, and he needs a place to stay. We won't be mean and try to get him out there New Years Eve weekend, so let's get him out there the night of Thursday, January 5, with accomadations, and a departure the night of Sunday, January 8. We're just assuming he can take at least two days off of work here, mind you. Now, booking a trip under those conditions, we find that the cheapest going rate is to stay at the Circus Circus for a grand total of $959. Now, this would be an ideal location if this guy were looking for street hookers, but since he's flying out to Vegas, we're going to assume he wants the "professional" you mentioned earlier, and Circus Circus just won't do. We want this guy on the strip. Now, everything on the strip is going to be incredibly expensive, so let's put him at the Howard Johnson Hotel. It's an awful place, but hey, at least he's in the middle of the action. Accomadations there, for those dates, amount to $1,842.

$4,175 minus $1,842 leaves us with $2,333.

Now, if this guy wants to have kinky sex in Vegas, with a professional (aka escort service girl), he's probably going to pay two grand, and that's only if he's a smooth talker and he's extremely lucky. And because this guy is posting an ad on the internet trying to trade video games for sex, I'm doubting he even knows the definition of smooth.

Escort services are gigantic scams, mind you, and there's absolutely no guarantee he's going to get to even touch a girl, because prostitution is illegal in Clark County. You have to find "the right girl," and you have to keep throwing her money and hoping she "opens up," so to speak. So, again assuming that this guy is extremely lucky, he's probably paying about two grand just for the girl, and this doesn't even include the copious amounts of alcohol she's going to scam out of him. This is extremely generous, especially on the strip, but add a $100 "alcohol charge" to the escort girl, leaving him with $233 for anything he wants to do while staying in Vegas.

So with this scenario, we have one potential act of sex that probably isn't going to be all that kinky, and just enough money to eat. Remember that this guy's goal was to have kinky sex with five women on his budget.

Now, if we're totally stuck on him having a party in Vegas AND having "professional" sex, he's going to want to bus it out to Pahrump, which I believe is $100, fully refundable at Sheri's Ranch if you end up bedding one of the girls. Let's go back to just having been booked in Vegas, and having $2,333 in his pocket, and take him out to Sheri's (conveniently located next to The Chicken Ranch, for convenience).

Brothel girls, mind you, are trying to meet a quota, so if he's going to get a good deal on a professional, it's completely possible here: especially at the end of someone's shift. Now, we have two options here: The Chicken Ranch is slightly cheaper in terms of "market rate," but it is in no way a casual atmosphere, it's more of a meat market. The girls line up, you pick who you want, and then you go back and discuss the details. Prices are, more or less, set in stone. Now, Sheri's Ranch is technically more expensive, but the place has a bar that you can sit down at, grab some whiskey, and actually chat with the ladies. They're real people, mind you, and though they tolerate it (they're professionals, after all), they don't exactly enjoy being a piece of meat. If you're able to go in there and be a real person, and be courteous and friendly and funny and at least a little bit charming, well, they're not going to demand as much compensation out of you as they will for the military idiot looking for some quick ass.

I'm rambling here. So! Assuming he has some amount of social skills, he can probably get super kinky with an average looking girl at Sheri's for roughly a grand or so. He indicates wanting two girls at once in his ad, which is probably going to end up being around $2,000. Add in the $100 whiskey charge again, and we're back where we were in Vegas, with $233 left, but with one very satisfying sexual encounter.

Which is still a hell of a lot less than his initial offer, which entails him five ladies.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, you're wrong. For what this consumer wants, and for what he's willing to pay, he's better off continuing as he is.

[pragmatic insanester]

if this had been prior to christmas. i think there'd be a chance a poor but decent looking single mother could have taken a chance to get her kid something amazing that they couldn't achieve otherwise.

[XianXi]

Isn't this prostitution? :/

there's no money changing hands, so it's bartering.

[stuffedmonkey]

The only bonus points are for women that won't force me to wear a latex coat.

wow. I would think that before having sex with any skank desperate enough to do it for an xbox, I would most definately want a "latex coat".

probably also a can of raid.

[Push Upstairs]

Suddenly i am reminded of those giant condoms Frank & Jane wore in "Naked Gun". LOL


There sure is alot of analyzing of this guys possibilities when it comes to scoring.

[fishsandwich]

He could just sell the 360's on Ebay and then use the proceeds to go to Vegas and get a professional if he's that desperate. Even at just retail value, 5 360's and 50 games would make for a real fun weekend.

I'm kind of sensing that this is a fake ad though.

Well, they're hovering around the $500 mark on eBay, which isn't much for a "professional" prostitute. If we're talking legal prostitution, he can go to Pahrump and have some boring missionary with one of the uglier girls at the Chicken Ranch for about that much. But this is a man looking for more than that, he's obviously into the kinky stuff, which is going to cost a whole hell of a lot more for a "professional." And seeing that his asking price is one Xbox 360 per kinky sex act, well, $500 isn't going to cut it on any sort of professional level, be it legal prostitution in Pahrump ($500 for bad sex) or gray area "escort services" in Vegas (a hell of a lot more than that).

He can probably pick someone up off the streets in Vegas, maybe downtown, and get what he wants for $500, but he runs several risks there, the least of which is gunpoint robbery. Not to even mention potential diseases and penises. Trannies in Vegas can look pretty good.

So with his desired price of one Xbox 360 unit per kinky sex act, he would not get much value in Vegas. He's better off staying home.

Now, what you seem to be suggesting above is that he combine proceeds from selling everything and have one amazing weekend. For the sake of argument, we'll price the 360 units at $525, and the games at $35 each. Now we're at roughly $4,375. Let's automatically subtract, what, $200 for eBay fees? So that's $4,175.

Now, he needs to fly from Altanta to Vegas, and he needs a place to stay. We won't be mean and try to get him out there New Years Eve weekend, so let's get him out there the night of Thursday, January 5, with accomadations, and a departure the night of Sunday, January 8. We're just assuming he can take at least two days off of work here, mind you. Now, booking a trip under those conditions, we find that the cheapest going rate is to stay at the Circus Circus for a grand total of $959. Now, this would be an ideal location if this guy were looking for street hookers, but since he's flying out to Vegas, we're going to assume he wants the "professional" you mentioned earlier, and Circus Circus just won't do. We want this guy on the strip. Now, everything on the strip is going to be incredibly expensive, so let's put him at the Howard Johnson Hotel. It's an awful place, but hey, at least he's in the middle of the action. Accomadations there, for those dates, amount to $1,842.

$4,175 minus $1,842 leaves us with $2,333.

Now, if this guy wants to have kinky sex in Vegas, with a professional (aka escort service girl), he's probably going to pay two grand, and that's only if he's a smooth talker and he's extremely lucky. And because this guy is posting an ad on the internet trying to trade video games for sex, I'm doubting he even knows the definition of smooth.

Escort services are gigantic scams, mind you, and there's absolutely no guarantee he's going to get to even touch a girl, because prostitution is illegal in Clark County. You have to find "the right girl," and you have to keep throwing her money and hoping she "opens up," so to speak. So, again assuming that this guy is extremely lucky, he's probably paying about two grand just for the girl, and this doesn't even include the copious amounts of alcohol she's going to scam out of him. This is extremely generous, especially on the strip, but add a $100 "alcohol charge" to the escort girl, leaving him with $233 for anything he wants to do while staying in Vegas.

So with this scenario, we have one potential act of sex that probably isn't going to be all that kinky, and just enough money to eat. Remember that this guy's goal was to have kinky sex with five women on his budget.

Now, if we're totally stuck on him having a party in Vegas AND having "professional" sex, he's going to want to bus it out to Pahrump, which I believe is $100, fully refundable at Sheri's Ranch if you end up bedding one of the girls. Let's go back to just having been booked in Vegas, and having $2,333 in his pocket, and take him out to Sheri's (conveniently located next to The Chicken Ranch, for convenience).

Brothel girls, mind you, are trying to meet a quota, so if he's going to get a good deal on a professional, it's completely possible here: especially at the end of someone's shift. Now, we have two options here: The Chicken Ranch is slightly cheaper in terms of "market rate," but it is in no way a casual atmosphere, it's more of a meat market. The girls line up, you pick who you want, and then you go back and discuss the details. Prices are, more or less, set in stone. Now, Sheri's Ranch is technically more expensive, but the place has a bar that you can sit down at, grab some whiskey, and actually chat with the ladies. They're real people, mind you, and though they tolerate it (they're professionals, after all), they don't exactly enjoy being a piece of meat. If you're able to go in there and be a real person, and be courteous and friendly and funny and at least a little bit charming, well, they're not going to demand as much compensation out of you as they will for the military idiot looking for some quick ass.

I'm rambling here. So! Assuming he has some amount of social skills, he can probably get super kinky with an average looking girl at Sheri's for roughly a grand or so. He indicates wanting two girls at once in his ad, which is probably going to end up being around $2,000. Add in the $100 whiskey charge again, and we're back where we were in Vegas, with $233 left, but with one very satisfying sexual encounter.

Which is still a hell of a lot less than his initial offer, which entails him five ladies.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, you're wrong. For what this consumer wants, and for what he's willing to pay, he's better off continuing as he is.

Wow, RedEye, that is some serious exposition! You certainly put a lot of thought into that one! ;)

I feel for the guy... here in Atlanta, we have an amazing amount of strip clubs and the ads for "companionship" in popular and common (and free) newspapers are staggering. Anything you want seems to be available. That's not counting the "ladies of the night" you can see on Ponce De Leon. This guy doesn't seem to realize that he could get whatever he wanted for far less than $500. Maybe he just doesn't want to take the time? This "barter" thing he has cooked up is less risky (and less time-consuming) than selling the 360's and then leafing through all the ads for his particular taste of whatever... who know's what he's end up with (crazy person, crackhead, or cop? Who knows?)

He's certainly not picky, though. Wouldn'ttake the best looking of ladies to make him happy. Whatever he wants, I guarantee he doesn't have to go to Vegas to get it if he lives in Atlanta, and I'd gamble (no pun intended) that he's pay a hell of a lot less than $500.

I'm not sure what else to say. The world is a strange place.

@_@

[unwinddesign]

RedEye, how do you know that much about Vegas and its prostitutes? Seems suspicious. LOL

[Push Upstairs]

I'm still wondering how he knows Vegas trannies can look good. :hmm: