Worst adventure game of all time? [Archive]

Ed Oscuro

04-23-2007, 07:05 PM

It's been a long time since I even thought about this game. It looks even worse than Maabus reputedly was (http://www.answers.com/topic/maabus), by a LONG shot.

So...oh, right, here's the game's trailer. Almost everything I know about the game is mentioned in the upload info. Enjoy...I guess?

Prepare yourself for BADNESS (http://youtube.com/watch?v=mEnPHU0TAK4)

ShenmueFan

04-23-2007, 07:15 PM

Looks like that awful PBS-quality Overdrawn at the Memory Bank (http://youtube.com/watch?v=4YYX9yH05zk) movie starring Raul Julia (gotta be some MST3K fans here!)

DefaultGen

04-23-2007, 07:15 PM

.....

Ed Oscuro

04-23-2007, 07:33 PM

Console?!? Price??! CML!?!? WANT!!
Windows 95 (probably), last copy sold on eBay for $25 + shipping (roughly $30 total). Put 'er in your watch list.

I'm still laughing at "I'M ARTIFICIAL!"

Kid Ice

04-23-2007, 07:36 PM

I can think of a few 3DO games that would be tough to beat...I'd say Dragon Lore is the worst of the lot.

DefaultGen

04-23-2007, 07:43 PM

.....

Ed Oscuro

04-23-2007, 07:45 PM

I can think of a few 3DO games that would be tough to beat...I'd say Dragon Lore is the worst of the lot.
I can't imagine it's worse than this.

Like, if the Dragon wasn't a real dragon, but a drawing of a dragon that somebody put in front of a camera...maybe I could see it. Then it would be merely as bad.

exit

04-23-2007, 08:31 PM

I can think of a few 3DO games that would be tough to beat...I'd say Dragon Lore is the worst of the lot.

Dragon Lore wasn't that bad, I had it for DOS way back when and I remember enjoying it. Mainly because you were able to kill just about everyone and if done right, you could still manage get a good ending doing so.

mezrabad

04-23-2007, 08:40 PM

goemon

04-23-2007, 09:31 PM

Are you sure this is a video game and not a high school film project? The end part with the burning photo made me wonder...

Vectorman0

04-23-2007, 10:04 PM

I really want this, if it was on a console I would be all over it.

Hounder

04-23-2007, 10:05 PM

That was just......bad. And that's a weak word to describe it.

Push Upstairs

04-24-2007, 12:15 AM

That was the excrement of excrement.

Did they make that shuttle explosion with MS Paint?

Gapporin

04-24-2007, 12:31 AM

While perusing the MobyGames database, I found this game (http://www.mobygames.com/game/windows/umbra). Whether or not the two are related is anybody's guess, although they both sound similar in execution. I found this line to be the most telling:

"When Umbra was released, most of the members of GoogolTek were 12 or 13."

Jorpho

04-24-2007, 12:39 AM

If Ed Wood had made videogames, he'd have made something almost exactly like The Umbra Conspiracy, except it would have vampires, zombies, a sea monster, burning pie plates, Bela Legosi and crossdressing.

Wait, I've read that line before... Ah, yes, it was in this review of Tellurian, the sequel to The Umbra Conspiracy.

Yes, they made a sequel.

http://fourfatchicks.com/Reviews/Tellurian/Tellurian.shtml
http://www.googoltek.com/tellurian/trailer.htm

Steve W

04-24-2007, 01:03 AM

Wow. The trailer to Tellurian sounds like it was made with a little synth keyboard bought at a dollar store. And it looks like Googoltek loves Bryce 3D.

Kitsune Sniper

04-24-2007, 01:24 AM

I.

Must.

Own.

Umbra Conspiracy.

goemon

04-24-2007, 01:34 AM

"Hello, you've reached the white house. I'm artificial!"

If someone has/gets this game, post lots of details. Nothing in this trailer makes sense, especially since one of the above articles says it's about a vanishing school.

Ed Oscuro

04-24-2007, 12:12 PM

Umbra =/= Umbra Conspiracy. Tellurian isn't a sequel to the Umbra Conspiracy; to the best of my knowledge the games are completely unrelated.

I imagine Umbra/Tellurian are better simply for not having the world's worst artificial exchange operator.

See the picture of the Umbra (not Conspiracy) box? Umbra Conspiracy has the picture of Hitler on the front.

Crazy though. It's like the plot to some bad hentai movie where you accidentally open a gateway to hell, and tentacle monsters come rushing out. The difference here is that each of those tentacles bears a copy of some heretofore unknown, world-class-bad computer game.

MegaDrive20XX

04-24-2007, 12:17 PM

Looks like that awful PBS-quality Overdrawn at the Memory Bank (http://youtube.com/watch?v=4YYX9yH05zk) movie starring Raul Julia (gotta be some MST3K fans here!)

"This is how much pure cocaine you need would need to enjoy this movie."- Mike Nelson

Ed Oscuro

04-24-2007, 12:17 PM

Two of the funnier comments so far at [http://www.forumplanet.com/gamespy/topic.asp?fid=1422&tid=2043155]GameSpy Forums[/url]:

Space Ace: "That looked so cheap it gave me a rash."
Bazbake: "In case it really was a porn company, I'd get that rash checked."

Rob2600

04-24-2007, 01:35 PM

Maybe not the worst adventure games of all-time, but the Myst series is incredibly boring and illogical, even with the player's guides. What about Tail of the Sun for PlayStation?

Ed Oscuro

04-24-2007, 02:02 PM

Maybe not the worst adventure games of all-time, but the Myst series is incredibly boring and illogical, even with the player's guides.
Eh, blow it out yer arse :D Also, no more derailing.

Oh yeah, for people who were wondering if this isn't real:

http://cgi.ebay.com/THE-UMBRA-CONSPIRACY-RPG-CD-ROM-VERY-RARE_W0QQitemZ140078813195

Rob2600

04-24-2007, 02:12 PM

Also, no more derailing.

I'm not derailing. Aren't the Myst games supposed to be adventure games? If not, what are they?

Push Upstairs

04-24-2007, 02:18 PM

A technology demonstration to show off the power of CD-Rom.

Wolfrider31

04-24-2007, 05:31 PM

WTF was that?

Ed Oscuro

04-24-2007, 06:26 PM

Maabus isn't one of the worst adventure games of all time, but it is worth mentioning since it also had video and appears to have been released about the same time (or earlier) as Umbra Conspiracy.

Check it out (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UvB-_n2PN8)!

Pretty laughable, still (I find the section where they show tons of random critters being blown up absolutely hilarious), but not painful to watch.

Also, going to fix up the comments for Umbra Conspiracy as soon as I have a moment; I initially had a much more detailed description but BooTube didn't notify me that it hadn't been saved (you gotta make sure no fields show up as yellow, grr).

Jorpho

04-24-2007, 08:17 PM

Yeah, Maabus just looks primitive and lacking in the aforementioned desperate Ed Wood quality of Umbra Conspiracy.

Ed Oscuro

04-24-2007, 08:18 PM

Right, but the Umbra Conspiracy trailer makes me cringe.

This one makes me smile inside.

:D

Wolfrider31

04-25-2007, 09:15 AM

Wow compare to Umbra, Maabus looks like Oblivion.

Push Upstairs

04-25-2007, 12:55 PM

Maabus doesn't look too bad for an early 3D game. It's still pretty rough, but its nowhere near as shitty as that other game.

mezrabad

04-25-2007, 10:50 PM

Wait, I've read that line before... Ah, yes, it was in this review of Tellurian, the sequel to The Umbra Conspiracy.

Yes, they made a sequel.

http://fourfatchicks.com/Reviews/Tellurian/Tellurian.shtml
http://www.googoltek.com/tellurian/trailer.htm

Darn it, and here I thought I was being insightful, instead I was being prophetic.

I hate it when I have original thoughts which were already thought by someone else. Makes me look like a plagiarist. :(

mezrabad

04-25-2007, 10:58 PM

I'm not derailing. Aren't the Myst games supposed to be adventure games? If not, what are they?

No, you're misunderstanding the point of the thread, which is okay, because he's misunderstanding the intent of your post.

You're thinking this is a general thread asking people what they thought was the worst adventure game of all time and you're contribution was Myst.

The point is not to discuss bad adventure games in general, but rather to discuss the demerits of the Umbra Conspiracy, quite possibly the worst adventure game of all time.

If I'm not mistaken, Ed Oscuro thought you were trying to derail the thread because you're talking about an adventure game unconnected to Umbra Conspiracy, which is really the subject here, despite what the subject line states.

It might be less confusing, though less of a hook, if the subject said:

The Umbra Conspiracy: Worst. Adventure. Ever.

Or something similar.

exit

04-25-2007, 11:39 PM

Pretty laughable, still (I find the section where they show tons of random critters being blown up absolutely hilarious), but not painful to watch.

I don't know what was worse, the early 90s dance music, or the games potential tag line "It will make your computer scream."

Push Upstairs

04-25-2007, 11:43 PM

I found the music to be highly inappropriate for that game trailer.

It just didn't fit in.

Plus that "it will make your computer scream" was really corny.

Rob2600

04-26-2007, 12:02 AM

No, you're misunderstanding the point of the thread, which is okay, because he's misunderstanding the intent of your post.

You're thinking this is a general thread asking people what they thought was the worst adventure game of all time and you're contribution was Myst.

It might be less confusing, though less of a hook, if the subject said:

The Umbra Conspiracy: Worst. Adventure. Ever.

Thanks for clearing that up. Now I know why none of the posts make sense to me. :) I'm not familiar with the game Umbra Conspiracy. I guess it's pretty bad. :)

link1110

04-26-2007, 06:51 PM