Gainesville, IL: James Barton's words to the police included "It was coming for me" and "It had a life of its own" but there were no words for the carnage Barton wreaked on his 2-bedroom apartment in the Middleton section of Gainesville earlier today.

"I tried to reason with it" he said, still quivering from what police describe as a battle between man and machine in a tiny apartment. "I tried to use the electric knife but that backfired".

What he meant was that he cut his own arm while apparently fending off an attack by his own kitchen appliances. This event simply marked the conclusion in what Barton's apartment neighbors call "a strange man who finally snapped". Barton, 33, has reportedly been seen holding an axe while shouting at a street light, and in 2006 was fined for a disturbing the peace misdemeanor involving a hair dryer and a simple electric toothbrush.

Barton's neighbors called the Gainesville police department at 7:52AM when the sounds of buzzing and "clanging metal" were reported by multiple parties. Police arrived 20 minutes later to discover Barton squatting victoriously in a strange war-like position, as if having recently defeated a savage beast. Police could only find a small modern toaster near his feet, broken to pieces.

There was little more information given to us, but detectives promise to provide further details as they are uncovered.