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Thread: [The Onion] Liberty City Police Face Allegations Of Incompetence, Brutality

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    Ladd Spencer (Level 17) Sniderman's Avatar
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    Default [The Onion] Liberty City Police Face Allegations Of Incompetence, Brutality

    Liberty City Police Face Allegations Of Incompetence, Brutality

    An excerpt:
    Nonetheless, residents say that their confidence in the Liberty City police force—low in the best of times—has eroded almost completely.

    "I was buying a hot dog from a street vendor in Hove Beach yesterday when I saw someone run a red light, barrel down the sidewalk, careen into a garbage truck, exit his vehicle, steal a nearby convertible, and drive away," one Broker resident reported. "A nearby police car didn't even react. But when the car behind him nicked his fender, the officer shot the driver through the windshield and walked away."

    "That is not the kind of law enforcement we want for our community," he added.

    ----------

    "It's almost as if the cops in this town are as much an adversarial faction as the criminals," said public defender Kiki Jenkins, who is rumored to be instrumental in recent incidents of police being inexplicably pulled from chases and criminal pursuit. "Sure, we have excellent radio stations and an incredible range of things to see and do here. But if I were younger, I'd move to Mario World in a second."

    Heh-heh. I love The Onion...
    Last edited by Sniderman; 06-06-2008 at 11:16 AM.
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    Pretzel (Level 4) miaandjohnrule's Avatar
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    Classic onion. Those guys are always good for a few laughs.

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    Starman (Level 23) Phosphor Dot Fossils's Avatar
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    This sort of crap never happened in SimCity, but then again I bet the taxes are lower in Liberty City. And Godzilla and tornadoes never happen there. To say nothing of the apocalyptic earthquakes that happen when the mayor stands in the middle of town and yells FUNDS! over and over again. Greedy bastard.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Phosphor Dot Fossils View Post
    This sort of crap never happened in SimCity, but then again I bet the taxes are lower in Liberty City. And Godzilla and tornadoes never happen there. To say nothing of the apocalyptic earthquakes that happen when the mayor stands in the middle of town and yells FUNDS! over and over again. Greedy bastard.


    It's hard to please anyone in that fucking town. Bring in the jobs and build an industrial park and next thing you know every asshole is complaining about pollution.

    Anyone else complains and I'm gonna bulldoze the fucking stadium, so help me God.

    The Onion is awesome.

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    Bell (Level 8) mnbren05's Avatar
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    Haha good article.

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    Late to the party DigitalSpace's Avatar
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    Apple (Level 5) Emuaust's Avatar
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    slightky offtopic but it reminded me http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/comic.php?d=20080512
    zomg I have a sig

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    Pac-Man (Level 10) jcalder8's Avatar
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    I loved the article.

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