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Thread: Would you buy a rare game if you knew it would hurt the owner?

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    Default Would you buy a rare game if you knew it would hurt the owner?

    Okay, before I start this topic, I have to tell a story. It's a story about me, and the reason I am a collector today.

    Long before my birth and still continuing today, my mother has dealt with serious mental issues. Growing up with the nausea and spinning attacks of meniere's disease and several other mental disorders a common household occurrence was not easy. I had to watch my mother go through recovering from open brain surgery at six years old. At the same time, I was becoming incredibly fascinated with video games. Mom had two copies of some super outdated gaming magazines from around the time Donkey Kong Country was new. I read those issues from cover-to-cover religiously, and they consumed practically all of my free time. Eventually, my parents got the hint, and, partially as a way to distract me from the brain surgery and partially due to my desire, Santa Claus brought me a super nintendo that year.

    As a gamer, growing up. I had the best of both worlds, with a Super NES and all the best titles AND a GameCube with tons of quality retro collections and a few modern games, too.

    I spent hours on the donkey kong countries, mario world, yoshi's island and all stars, star fox, link to the past, a ton of quality licensed games and my personal favorite on the system, kirby's dreamland 3, which was also one of the few games mom could actually play with me. I spent equal time on the 4-game zelda collection that came with my cube, various gamecube sonic games and collections (I stopped at heroes, and while I really wanted to play shadow the hedgehog at the time, maybe it was a good thing...), as well as smash brothers melee, spyro, both megaman collection titles. They are the games I remember most fondly, without a doubt. Friends came over every other day to play them with me.

    Those were the happiest times of my life.

    They had to come to an end.

    Around when I turned ten years old, my mother was committed to a mental institution for a little over a year. My father, who despised gaming from day one and still does to this day, decided it was time for me to grow out of the "kiddy video games" and turned to ebay to make what he figured they were worth.

    What followed was the biggest heartbreak of my entire life.

    My super nintendo, with two controllers and an ASCII fighter stick SN, free from yellowing or smoke damage, bundled with countless classics and a game total nearing thirty, games that, even back then, were rare and sought after like dreamland 3, Yoshi's Island, and so many more...

    Set at a "buy it now" of $30.

    Snapped up within the hour of posting.

    My nintendo gamecube, which, at the time, was still reasonably current, along with two controllers, a 512 memory card and some of the best games on the system...

    Set at a "buy it now" of $20.

    Snapped up within the hour of posting.

    For years, the only video game I had was frogger for the gameboy, and I couldn't even play that with anyone.

    I haven't truly played any of those games for YEARS, and only now have I finally begun to reclaim what I lost.

    That's why I'm a collector. To reclaim the childhood I almost had.

    Now, you may be thinking..."What the hell does this have to do with the topic title?"

    Imagine, for a moment, that you're at a garage sale. You see the one thing you've been looking for to complete your collection your entire life. The seller is an unknowledgable looking man who wants $10 for it. All of a sudden, a child runs out of the house, begging his father not to sell it. He informs the child that it's something he has to do, perhaps a punishment for a tantrum or a push to mature.

    Would you still be able to buy it?

    This is a question I don't expect definite answers for. There is a great possibility that someone else would just come along and get it after you pass it up, or that the father would just turn to the internet or even a goodwill to get rid of the troublesome system. Perhaps you'd try to inform him of the item's value, but that would likely make him even more tempted to sell it.

    Personally, I could never see myself doing this. I grew up knowing the pain of losing everything you enjoy and I would never do that to someone else if I could avoid it.

    But then, who's to say that lot I bought on ebay for a steal didn't suffer the same fate? Or the massively underpriced wii I picked up two years ago with porn bookmarks and a confused looking thirteen-year-old stuck to the photo channel?

    I think what I'm trying to get across is; do we, as collectors, take games away from those who would enjoy them even more than ourselves whether we know it or not?
    Last edited by recorderdude; 03-13-2013 at 11:20 PM.

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    Even if I didn't buy the game, someone else would. So I have no problem buying something that someone else wants to sell.
    Everything in the above post is opinion unless stated otherwise.

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    Quote Originally Posted by recorderdude View Post
    I think what I'm trying to get across is; do we, as collectors, take games away from those who would enjoy them even more than ourselves whether we know it or not?
    You cant feel bad for wanting video games or wanting to buy them cheap. You cant feel bad about negotiating with people either. If someone is selling their children's beloved toys without the child knowing, thats pretty low. Thats on the parent, not on the buyer. The actions would be tantamount to stealing. You cant expect buyers to do background checks on every item they purchase. Ive found that most of the time that Ive bought older video game lots of CL that the sellers are about my age and they are selling their collection for whatever reason. Ive never really bought anything that I thought might have been stolen.
    Last edited by bb_hood; 03-13-2013 at 11:43 PM.

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    If you feel that bad toss him an extra 10 bucks. You not buying it isnt going to stop the game from being sold. Or buy it for the asking price and hand it right back over to the kid who is distraught because of its sale.

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    I would still buy it, the parent(s) would still try to sell the games to someone else if you decide not to buy it. Even if you gave it back to the kid it would just be sold again to someone else. Maybe the parents are doing it to punish their kid for some reason, maybe they aren't doing their homework or going to bed on time. Who knows for sure why it's all being sold as each situation is different.

    If the kids are really bothered by it I'm sure they'll still remember it when it's time for them to take care of their parents decades later.

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    Pac-Man (Level 10) Rickstilwell1's Avatar
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    I would first buy the item and hand them the money and say thanks. But once the item was in my hand I would tell them while walking away "oh by the way you're an asshole, your kid deserves better than you". It would be pretty funny.
    [quote name='Shidou Mariya' date='Nov 17 2010, 10:05 PM' post='4889940']
    I'm a collector, but only to a certain extent.
    Not as extreme as Rickstilwell though.[/quote]


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    I'd buy it and never give it a second thought. While parents aren't perfect, and wont always act in the best interest of the child, I have to assume they know the situation better than I do. Maybe the Kid has it coming. My parents always knew threatening to take away something I liked was a surefire way to get me to behave.

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    I would still buy it; we cannot base our judgment on a couple seconds of what we see. I mean honestly how many times do children cry and complain when their parents do something, are parents supposed to always give into their children's desires to the point of the children ruling the house? As an individual who knows absolutely nothing about the situation I think it's completely unfair and unreasonable to instantly take the side of the young child over an adult. For all I know the kid stole money from his parents to buy the games and now the parents are selling them to recoup their stolen money.

    I'll never understand how someone without any knowledge of the situation feels they deserve the right to judge others based on a couple seconds. How many things have we all done and said that could have been taken out of context if the entire story was not known?

    But once the item was in my hand I would tell them while walking away "oh by the way you're an asshole, your kid deserves better than you". It would be pretty funny
    I don't agree with this at all, you're automatically assuming the child is completely in the right and the parents are wrong without knowing the totality of the circumstances. All you'd be doing is giving the child validation when he might be in the wrong.

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    Generally speaking, if something is for sale and I find the price reasonable, I generally don't have an issue buying it. There have been a few times that the purchase was soured a bit by the seller basically being in a bad way, but I figure the best thing I can do for him/her is buy the thing, as they need the money more than my pity.

    This is what happened when I got my PS3. I got it from a guy on Craigslist for $120 (when they were going in store for $400), came with one game and no controllers. Went to the guys apartment, had just missed him as he thought he had time to go shopping with his family. Told him it wasn't a problem and waited for him. He rolled up an hour later with his very pregnant wife and six kids, then loaded all their food into the small studio apartment they lived in. That was two or so years ago and the system still works fine, so the only reason I could see for him selling it so low was the lack of controller and the extreme need for funds.

    Quote Originally Posted by recorderdude View Post
    That's why I'm a collector. To reclaim the childhood I almost had.
    That...strikes me as a bad reason to become a collector. This has "future hoarder" written all over it.

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    Insert Coin (Level 0) scaleworm's Avatar
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    First: I am SO truly sorry that this did happen to you.

    I never had anything as a game bundle sale happen to me, but being raised by a very mentally unstable father did have favorite toys of mine crushed in front of me by him in his anger fits (self was usually involved in these as well in being slapped about, and always verbally abused).

    I had as a kid, with my siblings, a little B&W TV and an Atari 2600, with a few games, most that I had purchased with money I saved by shoveling snow in Detroit, as well as cutting lawns.

    He would constantly be taking away the system or TV if we were playing it "too much", a stupid in retrospect approach to a child's "childhood", and then eventually took it all away, TV system and all the games I had purchased.

    I still (to this day) get a tinge of fear playing games for any extended time, in fact, as typing this, realize this may be why I do not play them for as long as I should, and this is the source of my gaming anxiety?

    You are not alone. Mental illness, by either parent (both in my case), really can screw up a kid/to adult's life, and the associations we form via these illnesses being push down (forced) upon kids, really messes them up in the long haul.

    In response to your question " Would you still be able to buy it? I had to really think on this.

    I did so as the result of (while not identical by any means) your biography shared with us here, and by age (I am an older gamer/collector). I have cash, I have time, so I could easily "swoop in" on the bundle for the kill, BUT, if a child was involved, and fear or horror and crying, I do not know what I would do, in defense of the kid (of course, always the kid, they are truly helpless after-all, and fully dependent on parents, or adults for leadership, support, help, and defense). Whew, tough one. I would not buy, or I would, and then give it TO the kid, and if the "parent" had an issue with that, I'd double my offer and INSIST that the kid get the game/system back. As to a conversation with the parent" well that is a whole other conversation piece that I'd rather not sully your post with...

    I have purchased games from kids in garage sale mode, but always they were selling them willingly, never forced.


    There is a large developer's house (developed once owned) in my neighborhood that had a garage sale last summer, and the parents' have kids, and they are being forced out of the house (Repo), as well as his elder mother that lives with them, due to the recession.
    They have truly lost all possessions. His elder (proud) daughter was helping as well selling some of her personal items...

    As an avid tool user, and seeing him having to sell his tools, forced to sell his tools, I conversed with him, and his wife, and afterward felt SO bad I fought back tears and had to hug them both. I could NOT buy any tools, but watched as the vultures hovered around me/them, and did so, and were more than happy to do so.

    People come with (sadly at times) a LOT of baggage. How we approach that and console or not that baggage is what (to me) makes us different than all other known life forms on Earth.

    Damn, what a way to start a long work day (Your post, my retort).
    I am sorry (sincerely) that this happened to you.

    Being a parent, a truly involved compassionate, but responsible parent is the toughest job on Earth.

    I would never trade this gig I have as one, for anything ON Earth.
    Last edited by scaleworm; 03-14-2013 at 09:55 AM.
    Game on!

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    Quote Originally Posted by kupomogli View Post
    Even if I didn't buy the game, someone else would. So I have no problem buying something that someone else wants to sell.
    I have to agree. Regardless of whether I buy it or not, they're going to sell it. I can understand how you feel as I was in a similar situation growing up. However, if they're going to sell it one way or another I see no reason to not buy it. Beside, I'm sure you've unknowingly bought used items in the past that it caused someone a good deal of pain to let go.
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    loves the Game Gear too much. recorderdude's Avatar
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    This thread has produced a lot of interesting opinions thus far, and I can agree with a lot that has been said. For the most part, someone else *would* buy the game after passing it up, and you can never tell exactly what the kid did. It's a very hard decision to make when you really think about it. My personal experience could likely blind me from considering many of the superior options to simply walking away, but, to be honest, I've yet to come across a situation such as this myself; as you said, most are kids my age selling games or parents whose kids want newer games like the newest FPS and need dough to buy it.
    As for my life itself, my situation today is a little better than it was back then. My mother is a little more mentally stable, though she has to take a weekend in a hospital perhaps once every 2 months or so. My relationship with my father is as mixed as it always was (and always seems to be for teenagers and parents) and while I can never forget the sale, I can forgive him for not knowing the real value at the time by now; holding grudges that long against someone who loves you is more than foolish. While I still love video gaming, I try to keep my purchases very financially sound; I limit my total spending on entertainment/gaming as a whole to $50 each month (if that), and never spend what I do not have. I am selling doubles and games I do not personally enjoy but know others will more. This fall, I'll be going to a trade school/college for electronics, and dad demands all the games out of the house by then (even though I've organized my collection to occupy one tiny sliver of the basement along with my treadmill), so I'll probably ship them to close friends for safekeeping or put them in public storage.

    Back to the issue, though, while the reason I became a collector was to get back what was sold, I've found myself opening up to a lot of other great titles on various systems. It's still my biggest goal, but not the only one, and not so dominant in my life that it consumes all of my time.

    I really do appreciate the time everyone has put into their responses (especially scaleworm, I feel ya on the time troubles, for a while dad was limiting my ENTIRE usage of the TV for a day to one half-hour) and I think, more than anything, this has been a good way for me to vent about an issue most people I still know IRL (all near or over 50) would just laugh off.

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    If the game was incredibly rare and old and I had hunted for it for years, I'd buy it in a heartbeat. If I wouldn't, someone else would. And that someone else might just sell the game for ten times the price. But I'd promise to buy the kid any new game he wants (within reasonable limits - I'm not gonna get some child I don't even know a limited edition Metal Gear or anything like that). The kid would be too young to value the game for the reasons I would. As far as I know, he'd be pining after it because it was a fun game for him, not a treasure of immense sentimental value. I'm pretty sure I could fix that with a game from the current generation.

    Everyone would be happy.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rickstilwell1 View Post
    I would first buy the item and hand them the money and say thanks. But once the item was in my hand I would tell them while walking away "oh by the way you're an asshole, your kid deserves better than you". It would be pretty funny.
    If this place had a vote system, this post would get +1 from me.
    Last edited by Final Boss; 03-14-2013 at 11:18 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by recorderdude View Post
    This fall, I'll be going to a trade school/college for electronics, and dad demands all the games out of the house by then (even though I've organized my collection to occupy one tiny sliver of the basement along with my treadmill), so I'll probably ship them to close friends for safekeeping or put them in public storage.

    Back to the issue, though, while the reason I became a collector was to get back what was sold, I've found myself opening up to a lot of other great titles on various systems. It's still my biggest goal, but not the only one, and not so dominant in my life that it consumes all of my time.

    I really do appreciate the time everyone has put into their responses (especially scaleworm, I feel ya on the time troubles, for a while dad was limiting my ENTIRE usage of the TV for a day to one half-hour) and I think, more than anything, this has been a good way for me to vent about an issue most people I still know IRL (all near or over 50) would just laugh off.
    Alot of people have Dads that are hard-asses. I can totally see why you would be angry or traumatized at someone selling your valued games. Sure its an asshole move on his part and he obviously had no right to sell them if the games belonged to you. You do have a right to be angry, but you have to remember one important thing: he just wants you to succeed. Alot of people view watching TV and playing games to be a waste of time, and from reading this it seems that your father probably feels this way. Im not saying this should excuse his actions, but just keep in mind that he probably got rid of your stuff because he thought it was a distraction or potential distraction. In short, he probably got rid of your stuff because he cares about you, and not because he felt like being an asshole.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Final Boss View Post
    If this place had a vote system, this post would get +1 from me.
    Could always rate the thread up, there is a selection for that on the thin bar above the first post.

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    Oh, I'm afraid I can't do that. I'm not a communist

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    I would like to add to recorderdude and scaleworm that I am truly sorry for the situation you both grew up in and can completely empathize with both of you.

    I'm a police officer and see on a daily basis how mental illness, drugs, etc... affect children. Most of the children believe that it's normal behavior from adults as it is all they know. Everything I do in those situations is for the kids, they are my only concern since they are the innocent bystanders forced into a situation that they have no control of.

    I hope you both have sought help if not now at some point in your life. Seeking assistance is not a sign of weakness but strength and self-awareness of the situation you had forced upon yourself. You need an outlet and a safe way to work through the problems your childhood has caused you. Its ok not to be strong and ok all the time and opening up in private to someone who do not know on a personal basis can do wonders for you.

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    Its sad what happened to the OP but the tragic story of the mother aside (which I do feel bad about) from a buyers perspective, when I walk up to a yardsale or buy something from an ebay seller/craigslist/kijiji - I really don't care nor do I want to know their personal backstory. Just if the item works and what it costs. If I can get a good deal, fantastic.

    I've seen the ebay and kijiji ads that go on about some wife or parent selling their husbands or kids games as some kind of punishment for this or that blah blah blah. I don't care.

    If its for sale and up for grabs at a bargain basement price I'll jump on it and let the moral police whine that its wrong while they secretly wish it was them who got the deal.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ProjectCamaro View Post
    I would like to add to recorderdude and scaleworm that I am truly sorry for the situation you both grew up in and can completely empathize with both of you.

    I'm a police officer and see on a daily basis how mental illness, drugs, etc... affect children. Most of the children believe that it's normal behavior from adults as it is all they know. Everything I do in those situations is for the kids, they are my only concern since they are the innocent bystanders forced into a situation that they have no control of.

    I hope you both have sought help if not now at some point in your life. Seeking assistance is not a sign of weakness but strength and self-awareness of the situation you had forced upon yourself. You need an outlet and a safe way to work through the problems your childhood has caused you. Its ok not to be strong and ok all the time and opening up in private to someone who do not know on a personal basis can do wonders for you.
    Great response, Totally in agreement with you here ProjectCamaro.
    Kids are the products of good or bad parenting and being an inner city kid and teacher, I know exactly what you mean.

    Rarity I agree is one thing, and yes, i guess by default I am more socialist that not (Hell, we live in a society that DOES public funding support teachers, schools, police, firefighters, social, mental health and medical systems, food production, waste water treatment, freeways, roads, drinking water, electricity (in our state), parks, shoreline, etc... so technically if the public good pays for society to perpetuate for the good all of this, for ALL, then indeed this is a socialist nation we live in (is that bad?, to retain a society?...

    but I digress...

    Back to rarity: if in the scenario one sees a sale against the seller (kid in this instance) and the item was stupid rare, I would walk, or double the asking price and pay if I REALLY needed it, giving the cash to teh kid. (as long as the idiot parent was not SO stupid as to have it so stupid cheap... gosh this gets more and more subjectively difficult....

    Humans are worth more than inanimate any day in my book, and kids above all rule my priority system.
    Game on!

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    I'm gonna be honest, topic starter...

    if my dad did something like that, I'd fucking shoot him. My memories, the things that make me want to keep on living, versus his fucked-up ideals on "maturity"? Yeah, obvious answer there.

    And if that scenario played out (the kid crying and begging for the game not to be sold)... well, if it was a game I REALLY wanted, I'd buy it, but my heart would kill me if I didn't reassure the kid or say something to the dad about how fucking stupid he is. If it came to a fist fight, so fucking be it.

    I hope to god you somehow managed to get your memories back without paying too much, once you got away from that cocksucker.

    (Sorry for the language in this post, but it had to be done)

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