Would you buy a rare game if you knew it would hurt the owner?

[xelement5x]

Its sad what happened to the OP but the tragic story of the mother aside (which I do feel bad about) from a buyers perspective, when I walk up to a yardsale or buy something from an ebay seller/craigslist/kijiji - I really don't care nor do I want to know their personal backstory. Just if the item works and what it costs. If I can get a good deal, fantastic.

I've seen the ebay and kijiji ads that go on about some wife or parent selling their husbands or kids games as some kind of punishment for this or that blah blah blah. I don't care.

If its for sale and up for grabs at a bargain basement price I'll jump on it and let the moral police whine that its wrong while they secretly wish it was them who got the deal.

That's interesting. While I don't want to hear a sob story, a lot of times when I'm buying stuff from people on CL I ask about where they got the item. It's always neat to hear a story, and helps fill the time while I'm testing or looking over stuff. Rarely are the people i buy from locally colletors, they're normally just people looking to make some extra cash on old "junk".

One that specifically sticks out in my mind is a guy I bought a ton of stuff from. It was all in his storage unit and he was just clearing it out, he told me about how his grandpa bought the Master System for him and they used to play it together when he'd visit. When I was going through it all when I got home last night I almost teared up when I went through the instruction manuals and saw high score tables filled out with "Nathan" and "Grandpa".

That's the kind of stuff I'll try to keep in my collection as long as I can because I almost feel like I have my own personal connection to it.

[Aussie2B]

Generally speaking, if something is for sale and I find the price reasonable, I generally don't have an issue buying it. There have been a few times that the purchase was soured a bit by the seller basically being in a bad way, but I figure the best thing I can do for him/her is buy the thing, as they need the money more than my pity.

This is what happened when I got my PS3. I got it from a guy on Craigslist for $120 (when they were going in store for $400), came with one game and no controllers. Went to the guys apartment, had just missed him as he thought he had time to go shopping with his family. Told him it wasn't a problem and waited for him. He rolled up an hour later with his very pregnant wife and six kids, then loaded all their food into the small studio apartment they lived in. That was two or so years ago and the system still works fine, so the only reason I could see for him selling it so low was the lack of controller and the extreme need for funds.

While I feel bad for the kids, both in a general sense and if the PS3 happened to be played by them, it's really hard for me to feel bad for the parents. To be in that kind of situation and bring seven kids into the world is pure irresponsibility. Having kids isn't a privilege; it's a huge responsibility, both financially and otherwise, which deserves the respect of considering if you have the means to do so or not before you take the plunge. If you accidentally get pregnant and have one or two kids when you're not quite financially ready, okay, that's fine, and I can understand. You can make do. But seven kids? That's a pattern repeating over and over again, and they should have the maturity and wisdom to recognize that and use some birth control or something before they're cramming nine people into a studio apartment and burdening all of their children with a childhood of constant financial struggle and stress. With each additional child born, they're effectively making the standard of living for the older children worse and worse.

[sloan]

On one side of the argument, I believe I would say 'no' to buying the games or system if I saw a kid crying or otherwise protesting the sale. I just could not sleep well at night after doing so.

On the other side of the argument, what if the a-hole parents were selling something uber-rare like NES World Championship, Genesis MUSHA, or Atari VCS Chase the Chuckwagon for something like $10? I just believe it is a situation that I couldn't really say until I was put in it. My guess is that I would buy the rare item but say 'no' to the rest.

Like a poster above, I would most likely tell the parents what jerks they were being though.

[Atarileaf]

That's interesting. While I don't want to hear a sob story, a lot of times when I'm buying stuff from people on CL I ask about where they got the item. It's always neat to hear a story, and helps fill the time while I'm testing or looking over stuff. Rarely are the people i buy from locally colletors, they're normally just people looking to make some extra cash on old "junk".

One that specifically sticks out in my mind is a guy I bought a ton of stuff from. It was all in his storage unit and he was just clearing it out, he told me about how his grandpa bought the Master System for him and they used to play it together when he'd visit. When I was going through it all when I got home last night I almost teared up when I went through the instruction manuals and saw high score tables filled out with "Nathan" and "Grandpa".

That's the kind of stuff I'll try to keep in my collection as long as I can because I almost feel like I have my own personal connection to it.

I don't mind hearing stories on the history of the items or how it came to be in their possession, if they're a collector etc.

Here's another thing to consider - what if someone gives you a FAKE sob story in the hopes that you feel bad and pony up more dough.

"Oh I hate selling these games but we really need the money. My son needs an operation and the utility company is going to shut off our power tomorrow"

I've had that happen at a yard sale (the utility thing, not the operation part). Seller was telling EVERYONE at the sale about her personal problems and some did offer a bit more money for things.

Was any of it true? I don't know. Maybe, maybe not but I paid the asking price on the PS1 games and not a penny more.

[wiggyx]

Sad thread makes me sad


I'm not exactly sure what I would do. The scenario that you set up is sort of dramatic and I can't imagine that happening all too often in real life. I think I would most likely make the purchase though. Life is what it is, and I'm sure we've all had our big disappointments. I'm not the angry/stressed/overwhelmed parent in that situation, and I wouldn't be doing anyone a favor by picking up that poor child's emotions.

With social media being so invasive today, I may find that same kid's sob story 5 years later on a forum or a blog or wherever. If I did, I might be compelled to return it to him/her if that's where their heart still was. I can't tell you how many SNES lots I've purchased on eBay over the years, and hearing your story seriously makes me want pack one up and sent it to you.

[recorderdude]

I don't know how I'd feel if someone on here was the person that actually bought my lots so many years ago. It'd be...surprising, at the least.

As far as fake stories go, I've found one way that sometimes helps determine if a story's legit.

At one point, I was buying a few PS1 things from a mother selling her son's games. She seemed extremely relieved that someone was "finally buying these so my son can finally afford a car" for her asking price of 50 cents each, which I figured I wouldn't get lower than. Her son was there too, escatic that they were being sold.

I wasn't aware of the values at the time, but one of them was a CiB Intelligent Qube.

Another was a CiB longbox Primal Rage.

Then, I noticed something else in the corner.
She also had 3 PS1 GunCons for $1 each. I asked her if she would take $2 if I bought all three of them and she immediately agreed. Someone willing to take slightly LESS if more is bought as a whole as a bundle deal...that's someone who is genuine in their desire to sell, whatever their cause is. Perhaps, THEN, you throw them a few extra bucks if you feel bad for them. I wasn't compelled to myself since they were literally some of the last dollars I had to spend that day (and the main reason I asked about the guncons in the first place), but looking back on it, I probably would have if I knew the values and realized what an insane deal it was.

(all the games and guncons I bought worked great, btw)

On the other hand, I'm certainly not foreign to attempted seller cons involving kids. When I picked up a dreamcast from a local farmer's market for $25 (which, I will say, the seller tested and demonstrated the working capability of the system, which still works to this day), his son was wandering around the store, complimenting all of the games, especially more expensive ones. When I was purchasing my DC, the seller asked me what games I had for it. I told him I had SA2 and the seller immediately suggested I purchase a copy of SA1 as well to go with it, and that he had plenty of them...as he showed an obviously burned disc in a case. When I refused, the kid went APESHIT saying I needed to buy one because they needed the money. His dad obviously had trained him to help push sympathetic fools into buying more, but the kid couldn't act at all - no dice with me. Honestly, I sorta had to pry him away as I left with my DC. His father looked pretty embarassed.

[sloan]

OP: Who set those BIN prices? You, or your dad?

What is your relationship like with your father currently?

Also, I stated earlier that if I saw a kid crying or protesting the sale, I would decline to buy. However, it should be pointed out that when a person buy's ebay auctions, it is impossible to know if some jerk parent is somehow punishing his/her kid.

On a similar note, I went to a retro game store a while back and looked at their VCS selection. The store clerk asked if I was interested in seeing some more rare VCS games. I said 'yes' and he brought a box from the back room. The games in that box obviously came from a collector. Homebrews like Dungeon, Pac Man Arcade, and Berzerk VE, along with rare stuff like Road Runner and Off the Wall CIB. I was saddened to know that a collector probably fell on hard times and had to sell his collection to this shop. Knowing the low-ball rates shops like that pay for people's stuff, it made me extra sad. I did buy a couple homebrew titles without any remorse though, since the collector had already sold the stuff to this shop.

[recorderdude]

Pops set the BiNs, my relationship with him now is much more positive, though it's incredibly bipolar; we're either having the time of our lives or at eachother's throats at any given time, though we do enjoy our time together more. I sincerely respect how hard it was to raise me while mom was in and out of mental wards (he divorced her years ago for financial reasons, but he still tries his hardest to help her and remains there for her no matter what); he tells me all the time he had to be tougher on me growing up since he had to play both mom and dad in my life, and he's got plenty to worry about besides that. Despite being a billingual science/math teacher and a professional artist he couldn't get a job for years. Thankfully, he's had a bit of luck with an art job recently and may FINALLY get his foot into the art world again. He's likely worried now that i'll take collecting so far that I'll end up buying myself into debt and foregoing all my intellectual pursuits, mainly because of one of our friends. This person is there for us when we really need him, but his hobbies absolutely dominate his life. He's almost 50 years old, buys a crapton of slabbed/graded comics and is stuck between deciding to keep them or sell them, putting him in a destructive limbo between collector and reseller. He's in debt all the time and getting in further every time he digs himself out. I can completely understand dad's fear due to the presence of that good friend in our lives.

As for reclaiming the games, I'm doing so in a very, VERY slow manner. I don't even know if I'll have half of them before I head off to college. As much as I'd love play them all again super soon, I know I've got to spend responsibly, and can't even push myself to spend more than $20 any time I go to a game store.

[Atarileaf]

I'm gonna be honest, topic starter...

if my dad did something like that, I'd fucking shoot him. My memories, the things that make me want to keep on living, versus his fucked-up ideals on "maturity"? Yeah, obvious answer there.

And if that scenario played out (the kid crying and begging for the game not to be sold)... well, if it was a game I REALLY wanted, I'd buy it, but my heart would kill me if I didn't reassure the kid or say something to the dad about how fucking stupid he is. If it came to a fist fight, so fucking be it.

I hope to god you somehow managed to get your memories back without paying too much, once you got away from that cocksucker.

(Sorry for the language in this post, but it had to be done)

Dude you have some serious issues if you put video games above a family member. Video games are "the things that make me want to keep on living"?

Serious, serious issues.

I lost both my parents to cancer at a young age and although my father and I didn't have the greatest relationship, if someone called him a cocksucker because he didn't want me to play video games, that person would be carrying their teeth home in a little baggie.

[wiggyx]

Meh, depends on the family member. If they put you that low on the totem pole, then it only makes sense to return the favor.

[Atarileaf]

Meh, depends on the family member. If they put you that low on the totem pole, then it only makes sense to return the favor.

Read that guys post again and tell me that he's not seriously screwed up.

[wiggyx]

I think I understood it pretty well, and based on my own some of my personal family dynamic, I empathize.

[Edmond Dantes]

Dude you have some serious issues if you put video games above a family member. Video games are "the things that make me want to keep on living"?

Serious, serious issues.

EDIT - Less asshole-ish version.

I think some people could stand to re-evaluate their notions of "family" and what's healthy and normal.

When you think about it, what's so special about "family?" It's just random who you end up having as a mother, father or sibling. It's really as meaningless a connection as "we were in the same kindergarten class."

Besides, that dad who is getting onto you about your hobbies and interests (such as video games, in the OP's case)? Nine times out of ten, the father has some pet interest he's equally geeky about. Maybe he collects audiocasettes or something, or used cars. And as you get older, you start to realize how dumb your parents really are, that they're no different than most of the other human race. That being the case, why do they deserve any particular respect?

Please tell me its not "because they gave birth to you." You never asked them to, and most of the time the child was an unintended consequence, not the main intention.

[recorderdude]

While I can't agree with absolutely everything in that post, as I accept my father for who he is due to the fact that he still tried his hardest to raise me without any assistance, and, to be honest, a lot of extra baggage, I can safely say my father is obsessed with 1920s sheet music. Every time he goes to the reuzit shop he rummages through boxes of it to pick out tunes, there's certain songs he looks for...just like game collecting. I suggested printing it out, but he wants to collect the real deal. He plays it every night on our digital piano, too. He also watches a lot of 50s and 60s dramas on the THIS station all day, and pans me for loving animated media while despising it himself.

I'm a fan of a lot of gaming music, but he's sort of off-and-on with what he likes (he seemed to be okay with "katamari on the swing") and what he hates (any chip music ever).

Of course, as a kid, he grew up mainly in the 70s and hung with hippies. His parents hated the popular music at the time and were against him getting a guitar or doing anything other than continuing the family business of barbery. I'm sure at some point he decided he was going to ensure that his kid went to school and to college and did something they wanted to, and had goals to be a better father than his was. Looking upon my childhood, I hope that I am not necessarily "Better" than my father, but both more fortunate in the fate of my wife and more understanding that each generation is going to have something the previous one finds really stupid (and that there's a good chance my kids won't like old video games at all), but try to look into it better instead of writing it off like my dad did.

[Greg2600]

You have to break the chain of being a jerk, and sounds like you did. My grandfather had a violent temper and was not supportive of his kids that much, which my father always said he would refuse to behave like.

As for whether to buy someone else's collection? How would we know? I've found that most of the time when mom or dad try to sell their kids' stuff, it's in terrible condition and a waste of money. I've found that when someone sells their own games from childhood, they are in far better condition.

[Aussie2B]

EDIT - Less asshole-ish version.

I think some people could stand to re-evaluate their notions of "family" and what's healthy and normal.

When you think about it, what's so special about "family?" It's just random who you end up having as a mother, father or sibling. It's really as meaningless a connection as "we were in the same kindergarten class."

Besides, that dad who is getting onto you about your hobbies and interests (such as video games, in the OP's case)? Nine times out of ten, the father has some pet interest he's equally geeky about. Maybe he collects audiocasettes or something, or used cars. And as you get older, you start to realize how dumb your parents really are, that they're no different than most of the other human race. That being the case, why do they deserve any particular respect?

Please tell me its not "because they gave birth to you." You never asked them to, and most of the time the child was an unintended consequence, not the main intention.

Wow, that's gotta be one of the most cynical things I've read in a LONG time. I'm genuinely sorry that your family relationships must be so sour to the extent to give you such a view on family bonds.

As for why parents deserve respect, how about the fact that they raise you, make sacrifices for you, spend an inordinate amount of money on you, deal with every annoying, stupid, or distressing thing you've ever done, and in general put you ahead of them? Sure, there are some fucked up parents who don't do these things, but the vast majority do.

Nobody is perfect, not even parents. They're human like the rest of us, so some of the things they do are wrong. Sometimes they do things that are hurtful or hypocritical, sure, but if you save your love only for people who are absolutely perfect, you're going to be pretty damn lonely in life. That's why people talk about "unconditional love" when discussing family. They see your flaws but still love you in spite of them. I don't care how close two friends are, you can't trust a friend to always stay by your side like a loving family member. I've even had a friend who went on and on about how he saw me like family, only to cut me off the second I said something that pissed him off. Family isn't so fickle. You can only truly count on your family and spouse in life; nobody else will ever care about you in quite the same way. And I really pity anyone unfortunate enough to not have a good relationship with family, especially if you get bitter to the point of not even being willing to put in the effort to nurture good family relationships yourself (better to try and get rejected, since at least you have a chance, than to automatically write people off and have zero chance of things improving).

[Rickstilwell1]

I would still buy it; we cannot base our judgment on a couple seconds of what we see. I mean honestly how many times do children cry and complain when their parents do something, are parents supposed to always give into their children's desires to the point of the children ruling the house? As an individual who knows absolutely nothing about the situation I think it's completely unfair and unreasonable to instantly take the side of the young child over an adult. For all I know the kid stole money from his parents to buy the games and now the parents are selling them to recoup their stolen money.

I'll never understand how someone without any knowledge of the situation feels they deserve the right to judge others based on a couple seconds. How many things have we all done and said that could have been taken out of context if the entire story was not known?



I don't agree with this at all, you're automatically assuming the child is completely in the right and the parents are wrong without knowing the totality of the circumstances. All you'd be doing is giving the child validation when he might be in the wrong.

This was assuming I knew exactly what happened as recorderdude mentioned. If I didn't know for sure then I just wouldn't know anything messed up was going on.

[Ed Oscuro]

With a story like that, it must be hard to remember loyalty to one's family for a moment. Yet, painful though it may be, you should take this up with him, not with us. We can only be sightseers in this sad business.

I hope you manage to recover some of your peace.

As to the topic title, I'm just a custodian of things, yet I fear that everything we attempt to grasp onto will eventually slip away. If somebody who sold me something once asked for it back, I would probably sell it back to them, with only a few exceptions. But I think that giving back a game is not the same as giving a person peace.

[Gameguy]

Nobody is perfect, not even parents. They're human like the rest of us, so some of the things they do are wrong. Sometimes they do things that are hurtful or hypocritical, sure, but if you save your love only for people who are absolutely perfect, you're going to be pretty damn lonely in life. That's why people talk about "unconditional love" when discussing family. They see your flaws but still love you in spite of them. I don't care how close two friends are, you can't trust a friend to always stay by your side like a loving family member. I've even had a friend who went on and on about how he saw me like family, only to cut me off the second I said something that pissed him off. Family isn't so fickle. You can only truly count on your family and spouse in life; nobody else will ever care about you in quite the same way. And I really pity anyone unfortunate enough to not have a good relationship with family, especially if you get bitter to the point of not even being willing to put in the effort to nurture good family relationships yourself (better to try and get rejected, since at least you have a chance, than to automatically write people off and have zero chance of things improving).

I think I understand what you're getting at. Make sure to only choose an existing close family member to be your spouse as outsiders can't be trusted. I guess that might work for some people but it sounds a bit disgusting and creepy.

[wiggyx]

Wow, that's gotta be one of the most cynical things I've read in a LONG time. I'm genuinely sorry that your family relationships must be so sour to the extent to give you such a view on family bonds.

As for why parents deserve respect, how about the fact that they raise you, make sacrifices for you, spend an inordinate amount of money on you, deal with every annoying, stupid, or distressing thing you've ever done, and in general put you ahead of them? Sure, there are some fucked up parents who don't do these things, but the vast majority do.

Nobody is perfect, not even parents. They're human like the rest of us, so some of the things they do are wrong. Sometimes they do things that are hurtful or hypocritical, sure, but if you save your love only for people who are absolutely perfect, you're going to be pretty damn lonely in life. That's why people talk about "unconditional love" when discussing family. They see your flaws but still love you in spite of them. I don't care how close two friends are, you can't trust a friend to always stay by your side like a loving family member. I've even had a friend who went on and on about how he saw me like family, only to cut me off the second I said something that pissed him off. Family isn't so fickle. You can only truly count on your family and spouse in life; nobody else will ever care about you in quite the same way. And I really pity anyone unfortunate enough to not have a good relationship with family, especially if you get bitter to the point of not even being willing to put in the effort to nurture good family relationships yourself (better to try and get rejected, since at least you have a chance, than to automatically write people off and have zero chance of things improving).

You said it yourself, there are parents that DON'T do right. They deserve nothing in return from their children.