I don't agree with that. No reason for anyone to reciprocate being an asshole. It's called taking the higher road, something I wish more people could do.Originally Posted by wiggyx
I don't agree with that. No reason for anyone to reciprocate being an asshole. It's called taking the higher road, something I wish more people could do.
Despite my extreme cynicism and generally bleak outlook on humanity, I agree. My grandmother is one of the worst human beings I've ever met in my life, but I still spend half my time at her house making sure she doesn't kill herself in a kitchen accident or something. It's called doing the right thing.
As a dad, I am always trying to balance my son's gaming. Too much games and he simply has a difficult time listening after he plays too much.
Having a 9 year old son, I know for a fact if he plays too much(video games), his behavior starts to suffer. It simply isn't good for him to play games all the time. Before I had a kid, I heard parents say the same thing and thought they were full of shiat. But I know when he plays more than an hour a day, his behavior suffer greatly. It is almost like an addiction.
Yet another youtube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkT...tyNJnjPw-2co7g
I'm not saying one should reciprocate with asshole-like behavior, but rather that holding onto the notion that "blood is thicker than water" or "family will always be there" as so many have asserted isn't always a decision which will benefit one's mental health.
Essentially, if they can't be loving parents, then they shouldn't receive no love in return. That's no being an asshole, it's keeping yourself safe from the frustration and disappointment that will inevitably follow if you continue to try and earn their love/affection/attention/etc.
I'm just bothered by people insisting that their way is the only way. I.e. Statements like "family is all you can ever trust". That's an opinion based on personal experience, yet it's presented as empirical data. That's not something you can spread like margarine all over everyone's family dynamic. It's all too easy for a complete stranger, via the web no less, to criticize someone about their method for dealing with their problems. We are all unique. What works for one person will not always work for another. That's all I'm driving at.
Heh, good point.
Slightly off topic, but most sob stories in general just make me shut down and go into a whole other mode. When I was younger I worked retail and call centers and I've heard it all, at this point I can just feel when people are trying to get something out of you from the tone of their voice and mannerisms so all I just cut off all sympathy for them. I know I might sound like a dick here, but in general people who beg might get my sympathy or empathy; but not my respect.
One day, you could find yourself in similar straits. Are you telling me you will deserve no respect if you find yourself in need of someone else's sympathy or empathy? What comes around goes around.
It's not cynicism. It's being realistic and thinking thoroughly about such views.
In particular, the idea that parents deserve any special treatment is an idea both wearying and warying. You said it yourself:
But think about that in reverse: do you then think I should unconditionally love every random joe I meet? Obviously if I followed such a rule, I would be opening myself to abuse. With parents its no different. Heck, there are many kids who were taken away from their biological parents and placed with a surrogate family, and were much better for it.Nobody is perfect, not even parents. They're human like the rest of us, so some of the things they do are wrong. Sometimes they do things that are hurtful or hypocritical, sure, but if you save your love only for people who are absolutely perfect, you're going to be pretty damn lonely in life.
That two people had a wild night of passion and I was the result doesn't in any way entail that I owe them something. Or at least, it shouldn't. If I had asked for them and they had asked for me, then it would be different.
If there's something I wish more people would do, it would be judging situations on a case-by-case basis.
Taking the high road, being honorable, being sagely, etc... Those are awesome maybe 10% of the time, but the other 90% you're basically handing aggressors free reign to walk all over you.
Never once have I allowed anyone walk over me in my life. I learned from an early age to mind all the percentages, hedge all my bets, and to see things from every angle. Everything in life favors the bold and sometimes stepping back and playing things as they lie is the boldest move one can make.
I agree with that.
I just don't agree with values that come down to "doing/feeling X is always right in every situation and anything else is wrong."
I think my previous post was pretty clear in that I was presenting the general, most common scenario. If you guys want to complain about people making statements along the lines of "This applies to everyone", look to the post that I was replying to, that suggests that all children owe nothing to their parents and that family bonds are of no greater value than those with any other random person.
Is this an attempt at a joke that fell completely flat on its face or what?Everybody knows that family doesn't have to be related by blood to count as "family". Adopted children are just as much family as biological children, and if you, say, get married and have kids, would you introduce them as "These kids are my family, and this is my wife" or would you just say "This is my family"? If someone takes your name, they're joining your family. Even if they don't, or even if you're not married, if you're committed on that kind of level, you're family. I consider my fiance and his family as much my family as my blood family. I've lived with them for over 10 years, and his family treats me no different from if I was an actual daughter/sister.
For the most part. You went on to say that nobody in life would be as close as family, no matter how close you became with friends they would still be unreliable and untrustworthy. Then you said an exception as a person's spouse. What is a spouse then? It's clear you contradicted your own point about family right in the same paragraph, it's certainly possible to completely trust someone who isn't family. You made it sound that if people aren't related there's no way for that to happen.Is this an attempt at a joke that fell completely flat on its face or what?
If that was meant to come off as "general" and "common sense" it failed. It was neither.
I don't care what kind of relationship someone has or doesn't have with his parents, this is a MASSIVELY screwed up individual to say something like thisif my dad did something like that, I'd fucking shoot him. My memories, the things that make me want to keep on living, versus his fucked-up ideals on "maturity"? Yeah, obvious answer there.
(1) Shooting a father over selling video games
(2) Saying that video games are what makes you want to keep living
I'm sorry but there's some serious warning bells that should be going off with the people who ARE close to you if this is how you talk and act in real life. This is beyond cynical, this is deep, dark, disturbed "someone call a shrink before this guy kills someone" crap going on here.
MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL:
http://www.youtube.com/user/atarileaf
Whenever someone writes something like "I'm selling my kid's old games" it immediately makes me suspicious. Writing something like that is often a way of lulling a buyer into a false sense of superiority. A way of making the buyer think you know nothing about what you are selling, when in fact often you do.
I tend to agree. Looks to me like someone who might go into an Aurora, Colorado movie theater with guns a blazing.
Man this thread went off the tracks. Lay off the sanctimony people. Just because somebody hates their parents doesn't make them the target of hate and spree shooter comparisons...they need your love.
And I'm all ready for the luvin'.
I don't know I really don't. I mean the way I'd see it is not knowing anything more than a pissed looking parent and some crying kid about their stuff going on. You'd have to draw the conclusion likely they did something pretty horrible, and that regardless if they did or not (your problem, a hater on games parent) the seller is an asshole for selling their kids stuff instead of putting it up as a punishment. I'd probably buy it, but give the guy a blasting for being a horrible person after I had it in my hands as stealing your kids stuff and hawking it off for a few bucks to get even (which is what it is) is a bullshit and damaging thing to do as they won't forget it, ever. I'm not certain I'd take the stuff, but I'd probably realize as others did that the loser parent would just push it off to the next person anyway so if it's something one needed you might as well just take it as being all personally moral won't change the asshole is going to sell their kids stuff and will.
Don't forget to mention this in your letters to your World Vision sponsored child - it will make them feel better to know people in more affluent countries feel the same way they do!It's just random who you end up having as a mother, father or sibling.
Moving on...
It makes sense that if it was a more rare item that I'd be more inclined to buy it, as opposed to a common item, where I'd be more likely to walk away. It would have nothing to do with feeling guilt though - it would be about wanting to get out of an awkward situation as soon as I feel I am able to. With an item I perceived as rare, I'm pretty sure I'd be willing to stick it out until I got the item.
The relationship between the parent/child is none of my business. I think it's naive to presume I would know anything about what's going on having never met either person before in my life. Excepting violence that is - that makes it pretty obvious as to what's going on, and that would make it my business.
Time will be when the broadest river dries
And the great cities wane and last descend
Into the dust, for all things have an end
A lot of sources discourage those sponsoring a specific child type programs, instead of helping an entire community become self sufficient by fixing the real problems it just creates short term benefits to one specific person. It's better to give to charities that focus on helping the entire community instead.
It doesn't really have anything to do with the topic in this thread, but it's one more legitimate reason to dislike the guilt trip style infomercials that are constantly aired on TV.
Love all this "family values" stuff.
My dad once forced me to stop trying to talk a girl out of committing suicide. He claimed I was spending more time with her than with "the family" and that "the family" was more important, and that unless I was gonna marry her, her fate was unimportant.
But according to what I'm hearing here, he's right and I'm wrong, because Father Knows Best.
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