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Thread: Crappiest game that you own?

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    Strawberry (Level 2)
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    Default Crappiest game that you own?

    By "crappiest" I mean a game that's just low quality. Something that is critically panned, turds that are fodder for AVGN reviews.

    I have my fair share of shit in my collection. Some of these games I got BECAUSE they are such epic turds.

    Some of my smelliest games in no particular order:

    Friday the 13th (NES)
    Plumbers Don't Wear Ties (3DO) 75 bucks in 2011, but I went into this KNOWING it was donkey shit, and got it to collect.
    Shaq Fu (Genesis)
    Spawn the Eternal (PS1)
    Powerpuff Girls: Chemical X-Traction (N64)
    Sonic the Hedgehog 2006 (Xbox 360)... this one was 60 bucks new... OUCH!
    Tomcat Alley (Sega CD)
    Pac-Man (Atari 2600)
    Super Pitfall (NES)
    Bill and Ted's Excellent Video Game Adventure (NES)
    ...and many more. And yes, I do have ET for Atari 2600, but it misses the "shit" category. It falls in the "mediocre" category.

    I'd say my biggest turd is Plumbers Don't Wear Ties. It's the only game I have that's on the highest level of AVGN's "Shit Scale", a 6-level scale that AVGN introduced in his Darkwing Duck (TG16) episode. (For the record, I don't have Darkwing Duck for TG-16). In a nutshell, the "Shit Scale" goes like this, and remember that this is AVGN's descriptions:

    Level 1: "Debateably bad. Somewhat good games, with serious flaws." Simon's Quest (NES) was in this level.
    Level 2: "High level of shit. Possible to play, but no one in their right mind would." He put Dick Tracy, Super Pitfall, and Top Gun (all NES) on this level. These games are pretty bad.
    Level 3: "Very high category." He put most LJN games on this level, as well as the CD-i Zelda games.
    Level 4: "The severe zone." He put Action 52, Dark Castle (Genesis/CD-i) and the Tiger handheld games here.
    Level 5 was just for Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, and AVGN fervently hates this one, as he references it in many episodes.
    Level 6: "MAJOR CODE RED." This is the level that Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing was on. Plumbers Don't Wear Ties was on this level with it.
    Real collectors drive Hondas, Toyotas, Chevys, Fords, etc... not Rolls Royces.

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    Celebrity Deathmatch for the PS1, Ghostbusters for the NES and Pac Man for the Atari 2600 are probably the worst ones I have. I have Bugs Bunny's Birthday Blowout and Crazy Castle, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Dick Tracy and Who Framed Roger Rabbit, but I don't think they're bad games at all. Misunderstood? Yes. Unfairly excoriated by people who've probably only seen stuff on youtube and never actually played them? Definitely. But bad? Nah.
    Social Justice Warrior and proud of it!

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    I've fairly well culled the turds from my shelves through all the selling off of things. I have some people illogically pick on because they don't know better like Silent Service on NES, Ultraman on SNES, Bionic Commando Elite Forces on GBC, and Sim City 2000 on GBA. In each case someone I've seen snark on them before, but at worst they're more or less just misunderstood or just mediocre.

    Silent Service I've seen called out the most, but most don't realize the depth of the game and that it needs 2 controllers or you can't play it right and it has issues on one pad alone. Ultraman was just a mediocre fighter, but if you're into the rubber monster Japanese thing it's actually pretty decent albeit short. Bionic Commando that one is like the old game, but has some odd sequences with sniping and stuff and has a very nasty difficulty level in part with it saving your lives. Sim City 2000 on GBA is good, it's just slow, and lacks the underground garbage of the PC version which to me makes it better as it's like an isometric original Sim City. None of them have actual damning bad design decisions, control problems, or lame bugs.

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    I love shitty games. The more broken the better. Here's some of mine:

    Ikki for the famicom

    Salamander for MSX

    Super pitfall nes

    Cruis'n usa for n64 (promised so much and delivered garbage)

    Fighting Masters, Genesis

    Bokosuka Wars, famicom (this ones the winner, by a long shot)

    Lose Runner: the lost caverns for pc-engine

    Sidearms for tg-16 (1 player only and it's boring as hell. )

    RaiDen for the jaguar

    Slaughter Sport on Genesis (known as Mondus Fight Palace on other platforms)

    1942 for NES (graphics issues aside, it's boring as hell).

    I could go on and on. I seek these out. They crack me up. It shocks me that some of these Games ever got greenlighted.

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    Sonic the Hedgehog... and not the good one either.

    I remember being so excited when I was younger because I was like "Oh my God! THREE hedgehogs?! AGHHH!" (I was a special kid...)

    I got it at K-Mart for around $20. Such a waste...

    I probably have more but I cannot remember any more off the top of my head.

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    I've never really understood the mentality of buying games because they're infamously bad. Seems like a waste of money to me, plus you're setting yourself for disliking the game because you're expecting it to be bad. Don't get me wrong, I've bought tons of games that don't have good reputations, but that's because I want to genuinely give them a shot. I don't care how widely lambasted a game is, there's still a chance that I may like it (just as I might dislike a game that's extremely popular). Anyway, my most hated game in my collection is probably Bubsy 3D. I'm sure I own others that are even more broken on a basic, technical level, but I'd still rather play those and laugh at how pathetic they are than subject myself to Bubsy 3D.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aussie2B View Post
    I've never really understood the mentality of buying games because they're infamously bad. Seems like a waste of money to me, plus you're setting yourself for disliking the game because you're expecting it to be bad. Don't get me wrong, I've bought tons of games that don't have good reputations, but that's because I want to genuinely give them a shot. I don't care how widely lambasted a game is, there's still a chance that I may like it (just as I might dislike a game that's extremely popular). Anyway, my most hated game in my collection is probably Bubsy 3D. I'm sure I own others that are even more broken on a basic, technical level, but I'd still rather play those and laugh at how pathetic they are than subject myself to Bubsy 3D.
    When you get a group of sarcastic people together you can have a pretty good time ripping the game to shreds. Alcohol helps. Also, if it has gratuitous nudity (ie-the yakyuken special) it's an extra plus.

    Haven't you ever watched a total piece of shit movie and found it entertaining to watch the train wreck?

    Eh, to each his own.

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    Some of the games mentioned are actually very good games (Friday the 13th for NES), while others are widely misunderstood (Bokosuka Wars, which is perfectly decent for what it is & when it was released).

    Pac-Man is a bad port but a perfectly playable game, and Tomcat Alley is one of the better FMV games on Sega CD -- you should try Supreme Warrior or Slam City if you want to see how low the FMV library could sink.

    I also like Plumbers Don't Wear Ties, inasmuch as it's funny as hell. It may be a bad "game" -- really, more of a visual novel -- but I got more entertainment out of it than plenty of "good" games.

    Anyway, what's the worst game I own? Probably some PlayStation shovelware I haven't even tried yet, or one of the RCA Studio II games my wife inherited from her dad (no console). But as for games I've actually played, I'd nominate:

    Hockey/Soccer (Odyssey^2) < though I sold it; truly terrible game though
    Andre Agassi Tennis (Genesis)
    Onslaught (Genesis)
    Fist of the North Star (Game Boy)
    Race Drivin' (SNES)
    Shadow: War of Succession (3DO)

    I'm sure there are others worth nominating, but these stand out. Shadow: War of Succession is especially horrendous -- it's a would-be Mortal Kombat clone that looks, sounds, and plays like a damaged Flash game ca. 1999. As for Onslaught, it's barely even a game.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Graham Mitchell View Post
    When you get a group of sarcastic people together you can have a pretty good time ripping the game to shreds. Alcohol helps. Also, if it has gratuitous nudity (ie-the yakyuken special) it's an extra plus.

    Haven't you ever watched a total piece of shit movie and found it entertaining to watch the train wreck?

    Eh, to each his own.
    Oh, I definitely have fun laughing at bad games with friends, and MST3K is great too. I just don't decide that a game is bad before I've even bought/played it. Like some of the games mentioned in the topic thus far I think are actually fun, and I think it would be sad had I bought them already convinced they were going to be awful and then my view of them would be a self-fulfilling prophecy of course. So I try to go into every game with an open mind and hope that it'll be something I'll enjoy, but if not, then hopefully it'll at least be good comedy fodder.

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    I'm really not sure, honestly, but I'm fairly positive whatever it is it's something for the 3DO or Jaguar.

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    Cherry (Level 1)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Emperor Megas View Post
    I'm really not sure, honestly, but I'm fairly positive whatever it is it's something for the 3DO or Jaguar.
    The Philips CD-i, RCA Studio II, and Game.com would like to have a word...

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    Default Crappiest game that you own?

    Quote Originally Posted by Aussie2B View Post
    Oh, I definitely have fun laughing at bad games with friends, and MST3K is great too. I just don't decide that a game is bad before I've even bought/played it. Like some of the games mentioned in the topic thus far I think are actually fun, and I think it would be sad had I bought them already convinced they were going to be awful and then my view of them would be a self-fulfilling prophecy of course. So I try to go into every game with an open mind and hope that it'll be something I'll enjoy, but if not, then hopefully it'll at least be good comedy fodder.
    Right! And I think a lot of universally panned games (star voyager, cybernoid, deadly towers) are quite good if played properly.

    Oh, and the game that gets the most play if anything in my house is the yakyuken special. Something about strip Rock Paper Scissors against 90s Japanese girls is a crowd pleaser. They all look so uncomfortable, like they have to do it to pay off their fathers gambling debt to prevent him from losing a finger.

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    Strawberry (Level 2) AdamAnt316's Avatar
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    Probably Bible Adventures for the NES. Pretty much the only game I've bought specifically because of hearing how cheesy it was. Bought it from a local collector fairly cheap, and had it signed by the AVGN at the screening he held for the trailer for his movie.

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    Quote Originally Posted by goldenband View Post
    Some of the games mentioned are actually very good games (Friday the 13th for NES), while others are widely misunderstood (Bokosuka Wars, which is perfectly decent for what it is & when it was released).

    Pac-Man is a bad port but a perfectly playable game, and Tomcat Alley is one of the better FMV games on Sega CD -- you should try Supreme Warrior or Slam City if you want to see how low the FMV library could sink.

    I also like Plumbers Don't Wear Ties, inasmuch as it's funny as hell. It may be a bad "game" -- really, more of a visual novel -- but I got more entertainment out of it than plenty of "good" games.

    .
    To me, The mark of a good game is how well it ages. If you can pick it up 10 years later and find it enjoyable and aesthetically pleasing, it's a winner. But stuff like Bokosuka wars or 1942 for the nes do not remain fun once the novelty wears off, and the technology is so thoroughly eclipsed by newer games that it seems pointless to play those games.

    For what it's worth, super pitfall actually holds up.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Graham Mitchell View Post
    But stuff like Bokosuka wars or 1942 for the nes do not remain fun once the novelty wears off, and the technology is so thoroughly eclipsed by newer games that it seems pointless to play those games.
    There are definitely genres where I buy that argument, like early flight simulators and military copter games, many of which are now pretty hard to swallow. But I don't think the last 20 years or so of tech have too much impact on what Bokosuka Wars or 1942 were trying to do, since there are other strategy games and shmups from the era that still hold up wonderfully today.

    (I also find myself repulsed by a lot of the aesthetic changes that've happened since 1995 and, especially, since 2005, so I often actively prefer older platforms and technology. Same thing with movies and music, FWIW.)

    For me, the main test of a good game is simply whether I enjoy & look forward to playing it. No matter how good the graphics may be, or how loudly reviewers insist that it's the greatest thing ever, a game I don't enjoy isn't a good game -- and a game with horrible graphics and play control that I do enjoy is a good game.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Graham Mitchell View Post
    Cruis'n usa for n64 (promised so much and delivered garbage)
    I paid full price for that at launch, which I think was $69.99 in 1996 bucks ($106.08 today) and while it was stupidly spend, I enjoyed the game for what it was.

    We didn't have nearly as much to choose from in those days, and new games always cost more than forty bucks. Technical competence wasn't always a given, and with the state of game reviews in those days, it's only fair that most stores had reasonable return policies for garbage games. I wonder what the minimum age is for someone remembering buying something based on box art?

    When people complain about trashy mobile games, I want to shake them and tell them about Hover Strike on the Jaguar. When people complain that said mobile games are "too expensive" at $4, I want to tell them about Kasumi Ninja at $70 in 1996 bucks (still $106.08 today).

    There has been and always will be garbage in every medium, but I think the crap filters have gotten a lot better with digital distribution, competitive pricing, and information everywhere.

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    Quote Originally Posted by goldenband View Post
    The Philips CD-i, RCA Studio II, and Game.com would like to have a word...
    I don't own any of those systems, fortunately.

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    Silent Debuggers, TG-16

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    Crappiest game that I own... hmm thats a tough question considering I dont own any Sega Master System games.
    Ill have to get back to you.

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