His life started so innocently. I didn't change the stats much, just generally aiming him towards being intelligent, agile, fast-healing while giving him the "prefers one-handed weapons" perk, then sent him off on his adventure to find a new water chip.

Things went well, and I quickly figured out how to do things like targeted attacks, and wasn't long at all before I was on the desert and found some wandering merchants. I talked to one guy who mentioned Shady Sands, but more importantly I bartered with him, giving him one of my flares in exchange for 30 bottlecaps... simply because I intuited from the interface that bottlecaps were money and I figured having some money was better than none, and I couldn't imagine ever using that flare. Turned out I was more than justified as when I got to the next area there were tons of flares just laying around for the taking.

The next stop was Shady Sands, where I talked to everyone, learned about the radscorpion situation, but even though I offered to help I felt like my people needed me so I went on to Vault 15, figuring I'd swing back by and help if I happened to come this way.

This, however, was where I noticed an oversight I had made: Someone asked me my name, and both the options (one slightly more assholish) involved me saying "I am None." Oops. I had forgotten to give my character a name. And I had been so meticulous, too. Still, "None" is an interesting name for a protagonist, and who knows, maybe he was named after his first word or the answer he often gave when asked how many toys he had growing up.

As it happened, soon into exploring Vault 15 I found an elevator shaft that None refused to descend without a rope.

I'm not sure how or why but I somehow just automatically figured I could just barter with anyone. This was kind of a strange thought really--I thought I was able to barter with the one dude because he was a merchant, and in general I'm used to having to go to designated shops in RPGs, but whether through some buried memory or just some sort of intuition I realized I could barter with anybody, and finally found someone with a rope (turned out the guard at the gate had one, I guess for tying up raiders or lassoing brahmin who get loose... sure hope he has a spare, since I had None). I gave him a stimpak in exchange, even though my stimpak was valued higher, it seemed more sensible to give him something useful instead of just some stupid bottle caps.

As you can tell, I was really getting into the spirit of the thing, and really caring about None's place in the world.

And then None ran into some radscorpions and died. More particularly, I knew from convos in town that these things were dangerous so my first thought was to try and run, but it seemed they could keep pace with None, so in desperation None tried to fight... and got bloodied.

I didn't even get to hear what the game over screen's narrator said because it cut back to the menu. I guess a life cut short deserved a game over cut short.

Thus ends the tragic tale of None.

Perhaps his successor will have better luck.