So I'm back into Linkara, and he heavily hinted he's going to be reviewing a comic of the Street Fighter movie soon.

I've had a DVD of it for years (got it for three bucks) but... I've been dreading it. Like, its a movie nobody defends. Even Super Mario Bros. has its fans (I honestly think its an interesting take on the Mario universe), but Street Fighter, no.

But I figured it was finally time.

.... I went in with a little hope. I mean the USA Network animated series was kinda-sorta an attempt to reconcile the movie with the games, and that was better than I thought...

...I had kids with me too. I had to profusely apologize to them afterwards by showing them the SFII anime movie, and then the actual game.

Okay, like...

Where do I start?

Like, its not even the inaccuracies that bother me, its that the SF movie feels absolutely directionless. Even episodes of Bibleman tend to actually have a logical through-line. This felt like "here's a thing that happened: the movie." Like, Guile fakes his death... but then like, he doesn't even hide his being alive... and like suddenly there's this guy who wants to give in to Bison instead of attack, which Guile is immediately like "no f---- you" in a scene that would've been inspiring if there had been any buildup to it... and like, suddenly Chun-Li tries to kill Bison in his bedroom and actually nearly succeeds... and like, he gives a speech about how if they had worked together it might've worked, but they DID work together so what the hell Dictator?

Like.... this movie almost feels like a practical joke.

How is it that the Mortal Kombat movie was actually pretty good, but then Street Fighter tanked so hard?

Why does Bison have a flying desk with blue lights that look like eyes? Why does this feel more like Command & Conquer Meets Mighty Morphin Power Rangers than anything?

I need to go take some painkillers.