So I picked up URU and hunkered down to consume this newest addition to the Myst puzzle game line. Before I launch into this, allow me to preface it with this: I have played and beaten all 3 previous games sans walkthrough (though I did prod a forum or two for help once or twice) But most impressive about the hype for this game was the MMO Puzzle Game features it touted on the box. What's this? A chance to gloat about my wicked big brain in real time to the stuttering mongs who all were walking the Uru Live servers scratching their heads in confusion? Where do I sign.

I go through the interesting and extremely customizable avatar creation process (The one I made for Carmen looks just like her) and get ready to leap into an online world full of frustrating migraine inducing confoundedness to find:

The shit isn't up yet.

Still in beta, maybe I'll get invited to come and play, but I shouldn't hold my breath, but the website is filled with news stories about the fun time that all the jerky beta testers are having, cavorting with the game designers and getting new fleece vests for their avatars. I hate them, and hope they bleed to death rectally.

Sure that might be sour grapes talking, because I too want a digital fleecy vest for my avatar (who still sports the pony tail that I was forced to cut off to get a job). But seriously, if you're going to hype your uber puzzle game as having an online component, have the frikking servers up before you sell me the gotdammned disc.

Ubisoft, I hate you so much. I have hated you since I bought the Uber Collectors edition of Pool of Radiance. I even read that crap novel. I want hours back. Bah.

All of that said, URU is a great goddamn Myst game, it's pretty as hell to look at and the freeform running around surprisingly is less frustrating than the oldschool static screen jumps.

I just wanted to bitch is all.

SF