I just got over THIRTY crappy Super Nintendo games. WHY?!?

[Atari7800]

I just got a pile of shitty Super Nintendo games as a gift. It’s the thought that counts, but I wish the thought had been spent somewhere else…

After watching me complete my collection of Super Nintendo shooters and seeing me enjoy playing them, my boyfriend came to the incorrect assumption that I would enjoy ANY Super Nintendo game. I have a fair number of the “really good” SNES games like F-Zero, some Mega Mans, Starfox, Biker Mice, Rock/Roll Racing, the Mario games, all the shooters, etc(still looking for Ogre Battle.)

My boyfriend, bless his heart, made a deal with a co-worker on a pile of loose SNES carts. He paid $100 for the lot. After playing through the games, I realized that the Super Nintendo was not the shining, glimmering console that I had thought it to be… it is, like the PSone, a great console with a ton of great games and a ton of absolutely stinky games. Here’s what I got…

Road Riot 4WD: Forced split-screen crap racer with crap graphics. F-Zero was a LAUNCH TITLE, yet no one managed to ever top it? Ridiculous!
Monopoly: The computer opponent is an idiot, plain and simple.
Kendo Rage: This might not be so bad… very Japanese platform game.
Lord of the Rings: This SUCKS. I heard it was bad, but I had no idea.
True Lies: Seems to play OK, but looks like crap.
Wild C.A.T.S.: Scroll and hit, scroll and kick, scroll and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Phantom 2040: Didn’t play this much, may have potential.
Smart Ball: This SUCKS. BAD. Terrible Mario clone starring a blob of Jell-O.
Battle Blaze: Battling Diarrhea is more like it. A really bad fighting game!
X-Zone: Uses that worthless bazooka attachment. Unplayable. What a joke!
Super Buster Brothers: This game MIGHT be ok… need more time.
Alien 3: Nice graphics, impossible gameplay.
GP-1: Don’t remember this one at all, and that’s not a good sign.
Turn And Burn: I was amazed by how bad this game looked. Why bother?
Jurassic Park: I played this awhile back… way too hard to be any good.
Jurassic Park 2: I heard this was better, but still…
Super Offroad Baja: This BLOWS. I have played F-Zero a zillion times. Why did no one ever top it?
Choplifter 3: This might be ok… I liked the original, and this plays like an enhanced version of the original game.
Total Carnage: The biggest disappointment, I think. This sequel to Smash TV is just awful. Bad graphics, impossible gameplay… it’s nothing like the first game!
Spectre: Wow. This game really sucks hard. Who let this past testing?
Sparkster: This might be pretty good, actually… I’ll play it some more
Ignition Factor: I did not dig this firefighting game.
Wild Snake: Nor did I dig this weird puzzle game.
Ka-Blooey: Or this one, either.
Mohawk & Headphone Jack: This platform game just plain sucks.
Top Gear: NES emulation of the SNES. Great!
Big Sky Trooper: This may have some depth… I’ll have to play it a bit more.
Super Strike Eagle: Oh, no. This should never have been attempted.
Frogger: Uh, where’s the music? Is this a 1-meg game or what?
Star Trek: My ears are BLEEDING! The MUSIC! Make it STOP!
Super Star Wars: I have never seen this much slowdown in ANY game, ever.
Michael Jordan in the Windy City: It’s not Shaq-Fu, but is still sucks.
Spawn: Are all Spawn games this bad? Not as bad as the PSX game, but close.
Ultraman: Awful. Just awful.


Thanks for the games dude, but I would have preferred something else. A few really good PSX games, or maybe Ogre Battle and Mr. Do! Advice to boyfriend: just because it’s a video game does not mean that I WANT it.

[Bratwurst]

Sounds like a 3 bucks a cart almost, what shape are they in? I'd execute a salvage operation and keep what I liked, sell the rest on ebay. Seeing as most of those aren't the dreaded common sports games you may be able to make up the absurd cost of the lot if you listed some by themselves.

I liked Alien 3 a ton myself, Sparkster's supposed to be really good.

[Arcade Antics]

I just got a pile of shitty Super Nintendo games as a gift. It’s the thought that counts, but I wish the thought had been spent somewhere else…

Thanks for the games dude, but I would have preferred something else. A few really good PSX games, or maybe Ogre Battle and Mr. Do! Advice to boyfriend: just because it’s a video game does not mean that I WANT it.

Evidently you and I have very different ideas of what constitutes a "shitty" pile of SNES games. If someone had given those games to me as a gift, I would have thanked them. Several times. But that's just me.

Maybe next year you'll just get the traditional lump of coal!

Total Carnage: The biggest disappointment, I think. This sequel to Smash TV is just awful. Bad graphics, impossible gameplay… it’s nothing like the first game!

To each his own, but I like the SNES version of Total Carnage. It's not nearly as good as the coin-op, but other than the green "blood", I think it's actually pretty respectable given the scope of the original. How is the gameplay "impossible" ?

And If I had been able to score that pile of games for $100, I'd have considered it quite a good day "on the hunt."

[ClubNinja]

Wow. Talk about ungrateful. I'd dump your ass in a heartbeat.

Related short story: A former girlfriend scored me about 12 SNES carts for our first Christmas together. Mega Man X - awesome. Mortal Kombat 2 - sweet! A bunch of superhero and sports games that I couldn't care any less about? Still great! She put the time into getting me something I loved, whether they were spot on or not. I just traded off what I didn't want, she was fine with that, and I was very *very* happy with her. Loosen up.

[Ed Oscuro]

I personally got a good deal of fun out of Super Star Wars (that's the one with Luke flipping over womprats and driving the landspeeder in stages 1 and 2, right?) and I don't remember this slowdown. Am I wrong, or is calling this game horrible rather offbase?

[Half Japanese]

Well, if ANY of my usual gift-givers got me something video game related I'd surely be very grateful. As it stands you got a pretty good lot of common~uncomon games, nothing to whine about methinks. Enjoy what you can and ebay the rest, just don't let your boyfriend see this post...he'd likely do exactly what ClubNinja stated....and with good reason.

[Scoots]

I liked pretty much all the SNES Star Wars games. I agree for the most part that these games suck, but seriously, I'd still be psyched if anyone I knew did this for me. Like I'd enjoy the socks or grill tools any more! At least you can trade/sell these for stuff you like.

[Arcade Antics]

I personally got a good deal of fun out of Super Star Wars (that's the one with Luke flipping over womprats and driving the landspeeder in stages 1 and 2, right?) and I don't remember this slowdown. Am I wrong, or is calling this game horrible rather offbase?

I don't recall a TON of slowdown in this one, at least not enough to say it's the biggest offender in the slowdown category. But there definitely is some slowing along the way.

However, I do remember that most of the stages are far too long. Like a Flintstones cartoon, the exact same background repeats indefinitely for each section. It could have been pared down a bit to make the game more enjoyable.

Regardless, I certainly wouldn't call it a bad game by any stretch.

[metal_head]

If you dont want these "stinky" games, I'll pay shipping to the UK, take them off your hands and give them a loving home!

[Atari7800]

Perhaps I was a bit harsh in my post... I DID thank him profusely, and I was touched that he had his heart in the right place and bought me something that he believed I would enjoy. I told him most of the games were GREAT (and some might actually be pretty good.) I'm sure I'll play Choplifter some more, Super Buster brothers, maybe some True Lies, and Sparkster actually looks really, really good. He will never know that I thought the majority of the gift was crap. I'm not heartless, people.

My point was that the SNES certainly has its fair share of turds.

Total Carnage sucks. Too hard. The bosses look like crap compared to the Smash TV bosses. The whole concept has been changed, and not for the better.

I played through Super Star Wars YEARS ago, and it's too hard and riddled with atrocious slowdown. REALLY BAD SLOWDOWN. Play awhile and you'll see what I mean.

[Sniderman]

Whenever my wife - who has no knowledge or inkling of interest in videogames - takes the time to track something down for me, I'm eternally grateful that she made the effort. She's brought home stacks of Combat and Pac-Man carts, never realizing I have zillions of both. She's brought home Sega Saturn games for my Playstation 2. She's bought me Powerpuff Girl Gameboy carts, for Pete's Sake. And I thank her everytime and I dutifully place these items - common, unwanted, or whatever - into my collection.

And, because of my encouragement, she still looks for things for me - like the 3 complete Atari 2600s, or the complete in box Virtual Boy, or the box of 200+ 2600 carts with many rarities, or a hundred other true "scores" I would never have located.

You got a keeper with that b-friend of yours. Be sure to let him know that.

[evilmess]

I agree with Sniderman

Having a spouse or significant other who supports your gaming habit is worth more than that whole lot of SNES games any day.

Keep in mind too that it's usually pretty hard for us guys to buy good presents for you ladies so I'd say he did ok and you scored no matter how you look at it.

[Atari7800]

I opened the floodgates!

I really do appreciate his gift, and he has no idea that I think the bulk of the games suck. That's why I posted here. He's a real sweetheart, and I really am blessed that he tries so hard to please me. I, too, have gotton games for consoles I don't own and he's always calling about a sale he's just seen... he just doesn't get the whole different games for different consoles concept. I don't own any of the current consoles, and I've given him explicit instructions not to buy me one as I have issues with overspending on games. It's great that he's always on the lookout, even f he doesn't know what he's looking for. He's NOT a gamer (dammit) but he tries his best, and I appreciate his attempts more than he knows. I'll take your advice and let him know that more often.

By the way... I'm a guy. Queers play games too.

[Oobgarm]

IBy the way... I'm a guy. Queers play games too.

I was wondering why everyone considered you to be a chick....

I'm shocked that you know a guy who isn't into games. I thought that was almost a part of a guy's DNA or something.

[evilmess]

Sorry Atari7800

My comment regarding us dudes buying gifts for the ladies was a little off base in regards to your topic (...but it's so true anyway!)

big ole DOH on my part!

[Half Japanese]

Whoops! I guess I usually assume that when most folks talk about a "boyfriend" that it's a female. I think EGM used to refer to gay gamers as "gaymers," although I'm sure they might find the term offensive now.[/quote]

[ClubNinja]

By the way... I'm a guy.

If it's any consolation, speaking for myself, I knew that.

Anyway, in a previous response you say that your point was to illustrate that the SNES had its share of duds. Agreed - many duds. Unfortunately, if you re-read your initial post, then you'll probably see how it looks more like an attack on your boyfriend than the weak titles in the SNES library. That's all.

Oh, and Sparkster rules!

[hydr0x]

I opened the floodgates!

I really do appreciate his gift, and he has no idea that I think the bulk of the games suck.

i don't know what you want, but there some GREAT, some good, some mediocre and of course also some crap games in there

some good ones:

Truel Lies, Buster Bros, Alien 3 (<< very good), Jurassic Park 1+2, Offroad Baja, Sparkster, Top Gear, Big Sky Trooper, Super Strike Eagle, Frogger, Star Wars

[chadtower]

Anyway, in a previous response you say that your point was to illustrate that the SNES had its share of duds. Agreed - many duds. Unfortunately, if you re-read your initial post, then you'll probably see how it looks more like an attack on your boyfriend than the weak titles in the SNES library. That's all.

I've read it three times now and have trouble seeing as anything but a complaint about his nongamer boyfriend. It looks to me like the backlash has made him change his story some, or maybe even rethink his feelings on the topic.

[Atari7800]

Anyway, in a previous response you say that your point was to illustrate that the SNES had its share of duds. Agreed - many duds. Unfortunately, if you re-read your initial post, then you'll probably see how it looks more like an attack on your boyfriend than the weak titles in the SNES library. That's all.

I've read it three times now and have trouble seeing as anything but a complaint about his nongamer boyfriend. It looks to me like the backlash has made him change his story some, or maybe even rethink his feelings on the topic.

Read it again, especially the part about the "After playing through the games, I realized that the Super Nintendo was not the shining, glimmering console that I had thought it to be… it is, like the PSone, a great console with a ton of great games and a ton of absolutely stinky games. "

My post WAS a bit bitchy, but I didn't mean it as an attack on my guy. Perhaps I'm a bit grouchy after getting a great-looking pile of games and then spending the better part of an evening playing crappy game after crappy game. I DO appreciate the gift, and I DO think most of the games suck. How's that, Chadtower?