I was playing Ninja Gaiden for NES earlier, and I asked myself: "Which one of these enemies is the most annoying?" Even though there are several extremely annoying wacked out Ninjas and dogs(I guess they're dogs), the answer was obvious. The birds! But it's not only this game that these birds annoy.. It's basically every platformer from '87-'96. I really don't get it. I've taken strolls through a forest, and I've seen birds.. they don't challenge innocent strangers to fight to the death! So why did video games paint such a bad picture of birds? Maybe every game ever designed after Super Mario Brothers was actually designed to be based on Hitchcock's The Birds, but at the last minute they lose the film rights or something, and in a panic they change all of the graphics.... but they leave the birds. Ooorr.... Maybe soon after Duck Hunt was released, bird activists(they exist!) demanded they remove the game from the shelves... but instead the bird activists made a secret deal with every game developer to compensate for the killing of ducks.. The birds get their revenge.. and then some. And this way the kids wouldn't go out shooting birds... they'd fear them.

Not only are the birds incredibly annoying.. they're incredibly unrealistic. Imagine you're walking, and a bird decides that you're gonna die. So, he swoops down at you.. and just uh.. kind of.. crashes in to you. All you have to do is grab it and twist it's neck! It could crash onto you all day,.. you wouldn't die! Trust me! Try it out some time. Plus it's weight surely wouldn't obstruct your jump.. if say.. you're jumping from one platform to another... it wouldn't send you plummeting down.. uh... down.. ..So where exactly do you go if you fall down one of those holes in Super Mario Brothers? Hell? Nevermind.. that's a whole other pointless rant...

I guess what I'm trying to say is... uh... leave me alone.