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Thread: Wanna be a paid games tester for EA?

  1. #21
    Chaos Knight
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    Huh... just down the road from me. Still, something to consider should HP dispense with my services and I get stir crazy at home.

    (not that I would need the money at the point as I'd get a good layoff package)

    If anything, you can try and make EA games just that little bit less shite then

  2. #22
    Red (Level 21) Jorpho's Avatar
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    "You need to tighten up those graphics!"
    "There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge." --Bertrand Russel (attributed)

  3. #23
    drowning in medals Ed Oscuro's Avatar
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    Typical verbal comments from a playthrough tester working on a hot new football game:

    11/21
    8:25 - Big bug: this game is terrible. Was I playing a football sim just now? Looked like Pong...
    8:35 - I personally indemnify EA and forswear any confidence that they will ever make a good game.
    3:45 - Am I bug-testing the feedback system, or the game? I typed out all my comments and suddenly the system prompts me to enter my username and password, and then just puts up a quote of the last user.

    11/22
    4:45 - Odd, the announcer keeps repeating the same lines over and over. Where do I fill that in on the form..?

    11/23
    8:55 - Fell through the level after the ball carrier (the one with that victory dance where he spikes the ball into, erm - could that be toned down? I'm sure that bumps the game up at least one rating) and landed in the stands a minute later.
    4:35 - Turns out I've been in the stands the whole time.

    11/24
    9:25 - The new collision system works great, but now I can't see the astroturf.
    9:30 - Actually, the whole stadium is upside down now.

    11/25
    11:00 - Spent all morning messing around with the new live commentator updates. The audio is horrible.
    1:15 - Turns out the guy who used Ghost to set up all the boxes had this pop CD in that installed custom drivers. Explains why everything sounds lousy.

    11/26 (Looking forward to the weekend!)
    9:45 - Audio is fixed, but now all I hear is "You talk about a quarterback that can light up a scoreboard!"
    10:55 - The quarterback did that dance again, but this time on the field of scrimmage. Then the whole other team rushed him before the match started. Sadly, that didn't put him out of the game.

    11/28
    8:55 - More collision funs. Time to pay the piper.
    4:30 - The game owns my soul.

    11/29
    3:35 - Hmm, the controller makes me itchy.
    4:20 - Another issue found: big heads mode makes the stadium lights big, and the crowd all has big heads too but that looks awful as they're all clipping into each other.

    11/30
    Somebody said we'll be working on another game soon. I...cannot...allow this.

    12/1
    Wierd time to be working on a game, isn't it? Why was I working through Thanksgiving, and why are we putting out a game that won't appear until April, at best? Especially one that sells as strongly as this one? I think ARRGH THE PARASITE

    12/2
    My collision-inducing skills are the scourge of the programming department and the envy of the Q&A department. THEY DO NOT KNOW THE FULL EXTENT OF MY POWERS

    12/
    Itchy itchy Scott came ugly face so killed him.
    TASTY.

  4. #24
    Bell (Level 8)
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    Default Re: Wanna be a paid games tester for EA?

    Quote Originally Posted by Vroomfunkel
    Electronic Arts Chertsey Surrey
    Any jobs like that in Maryland or Virginia???
    .

    () - "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.
    Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

    "Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use." - Emily Post ----- Component Video looks just as good as RGB, is a heck of a lot easier to set up, and also a lot cheaper!

  5. #25
    Insert Coin (Level 0)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jorpho
    "You need to tighten up those graphics!"
    haha that commercial really is the lamest thing ever.
    Currently Playing: Limbo, CoD: MW2
    XBL: Kazaam McFresh

  6. #26
    Apple (Level 5)
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    Gawd, I think I'd rather be a Nazi or something....

    I mean c'mon....EA? Don't you sprout wings and horns the instant you sign the offer letter?

  7. #27
    Strawberry (Level 2) importaku's Avatar
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    Hehe maybe they can re-title the job from games tester to turd polisher.

    I find it shocking that some of you would be tempted to go for it i gurantee it would destroy any love you had for videogames.

    Can't they just get people in prision to beta test for EA. Hehe punish them twice force them to play EA shovelware all day, evey day.

  8. #28
    Ryu Hayabusa (Level 16) rbudrick's Avatar
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    Well, just remember, to quote some random EA exec, "It's a prvilege to work for EA, and if you don't like it, you can GET THE HELL OUT. You piece of crap." True story.

    -Rob
    The moral is, don't **** with Uncle Tim when he's been drinking!

  9. #29
    Crono (Level 14)
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    EA mostly publish the games, not develope them. So blame the developers ;P
    Anyway, how long can u test the games? It says 3 or 6 months contracts, but how many hours of total testing is possible?

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