Well... this is weird. I'm about to repost a story that I wrote about three years ago. It seems that I intended to make it part of a series of the random crap I write about video games, but it never really took off. Ah well, here it is in all of its context; the pilot of the "I, Gamer" serial, "Genie Gaiden!"

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I play to play. I win to win. I destroy the final boss to destroy the final boss. It is my duty. It is what I desire. This is the path I chose... the path of... THE GAMER.

I hark back to the older days, where my main forms of entertainment were the NES and SNES. In those days, I used to be a... 'cheater' is such an ugly word... let's just say that I couldn't ride the bicycle without my training wheels. My proverbial 'wheels' in this case was a quirky little device labeled the Game Genie, made for both the NES and SNES, as well as several other consoles and portables. The purpose of this Game Genie was to alter the game in some way, favorable to the gamer or not. The basics include infinite lives, invincibility, level select, and the sort. Less orthodox functions of this device were the abilities to slow down or speed up gameplay, cause all enemies to disappear before you could even begin the game, or even taking you straight to the ending, no game at all. Not very ceremonious, is it?

I am still a young man, and my abilities in the field of video gaming are still evolving. However, I rarely need utilize cheat devices nowadays, as I have grown to be a veritable professional at some of the games I used to play all the time as an elementary school student. I don't think that could have been possible without the Game Genie.

Allow me to cite a specific example, which is arguably one of the greatest challenges of all time: Ninja Gaiden. I often activated the cheats where I had infinite lives and limitless Ninja Power, which if I ever ran out of, I could not use my helpful special weapons. With these cheats activated, I could blaze through the game, slaying all minor enemies and bosses. Then I got to Act 6, the final chapter of the game. Game Genie or not, I spent every breath I had cursing the game for its insane, almost unfair difficulty. The trio of final bosses weren't exactly pushovers either. And yet, I kept at it, and I was eventually able to conquer the Masked Devil, Jaquio, and the Demon Jashin. Although I did not play the game for the ending, I did enjoy the closing cinema. A worthy reward for a grand challenge.

Fast forward to about one year ago from today. I attempted to conquer Ninja Gaiden, sans-Game Genie. OUCH. What a brutal task that was, having to start at the beginning of the stages for continuing and not having enough Ninja Power to throw those ever-so-helpful Fire Wheels. Still, I was not as frustrated as I could have been, as for having constantly played through those scenes with the Game Genie there to help me out. I found myself at Act 6 yet again, full of dread and fear of what I knew was going to happen. Death. Repeated death at the hands of pitfalls and eagles. However, my previous experience of this painful gauntlet of demons made me stronger and wiser, and I knew where and when each enemy would come in to assault me. I would find myself at the final bosses again, and I was beating down the Masked Devil with my Fire Wheel, when a frightening obstacle made itself apparent: No Ninja Power left.

NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!

I died. I had to start at the very beginning of Act 6. My memory is hazy, but I recall a distinct tornado of profanities directed at the TV screen. I eventually gathered my sanity and found the courage to attempt the 'gauntlet' again. I found myself at the Masked Devil soon enough. This time, I was not so reliant on the Fire Wheel. I actually managed to dodge his projectiles and hit at the weak spot with my sword, and I beat the first boss. Then came big bad Jaquio. This was going to be a bigger problem. I died at least three times before figuring out the timing to hitting Jaquio with my sword and dodging his fireballs. When I defeated the accursed sorcerer, I was surprised at my own ability to vanquish the game's main villain. But then, there was the Demon Jashin. Oy. There was no rest for poor Ryu Hayabusa.

Long story short, (and I imagine this delightful tale's already gone on long enough) I banished Jashin to whence it came, and after at least eight attempts (and perhaps more than that) of struggling through Act 6, the game was over, and I had finally won after all those years of owning Ninja Gaiden. I do not consider a game officially beaten until it is finished without any forms of cheating whatsoever. I had done this with one of my favorite games ever, but I do not think it was possible to have beaten it if I had not practiced with the Game Genie so many times. To beat it without cheat codes, I had to beat it with cheat codes first. Ironic, yes, but I owe part of my victory to the Game Genie. Granted, I use it not much today, but that is only because my skills have evolved beyone its use.

They haven't evolved far enough in the case of Ikari Warriors. Heh...

This was only a small portion of my life as a gamer. Perhaps I shall spin the yarn of another tale in the near or distant future. Until then, may all others like me continue to game on.

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I amended some grammar errors here and there and updated a few things. Heh, that was pretty fun. Maybe I should get working on another one