Nokia N-Gage: What the hell?

[hezeuschrist]

So the N-Gage is nearing release, and I have to ask just one question. Why?

Seriously, everyone who has had anything to say about this "platform" has only been full of negative comments, and you can even tell in writing about it they try hard to take a neutral standpoint but always come off negative. The thing sucks. $300 for a half-assed gameboy with lousy third party support and no name recognition? SIGN ME UP. Everyone who saw it at E3 said it sucks. Terrible controls, cramped by the cell-phone digit pad, tiny ass screen, what the crap were they thinking?

So if you were to try a new idea, and all you met was a brick wall of negative feedback, would you contine with your incredibly expensive idea? I'd take a second thought and say "Eh, maybe I was wrong and it's a crappy idea." I understand trying new stuff in the market is incredibly important, but this is just absurd. THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS. I could buy 2 Gamecubes! I could buy 3 GBA SP's! Who in the HELL will pay for that thing? (Other than the insane and overzealous collectors here )

[zmeston]

So the N-Gage is nearing release, and I have to ask just one question. Why?

Game developers are obsessed with the new frontier of cell-phone gaming at the moment -- Game Developer magazine, for example, recently introduced a bi-monthly mobile-gaming insert -- and Nokia is trying to capitalize on all the excitement. Unfortunately, the company knows jack-shit about the game industry, proven not just by the N-Gage's horrendous hardware design but its extremely disturbing E3 press conference, the lowlight of which was a pre-pubescent girl stripping off her shirt. (Andy Eddy detailed the disaster in his excellent "Biz Buzz" column for GameSpy.) The only real question in the industry at this point is how big the N-Gage is gonna flop.

-- Z.

[zemmix]

I guess I'm insane then. I will be getting one but I will not be spending more than $100 for it. You have to remember that first and foremost it is a cell phone that just happens to be a game system too. Not the other way around. And as such you will probably be able to get them for a lot cheaper than $300 when you sign up for a new phone plan. That's what I am doing since my contract expired a year ago. The phone that I have now used to sell for $300 retail when I got it two years ago, but when I signed up for my plan I got it for $50.

I like the Ngage not just because of the gaming potential, but its a am/fm radio and mp3 player as well. Plus its Nokia and all of my Nokia phones last forever. Even having dropped my current one in the toilet once, it just keeps working.

[Oberfuhrer Hamm]

Plus its Nokia and all of my Nokia phones last forever. Even having dropped my current one in the toilet once, it just keeps working.

Yeech, I would worry more about .... smell .... than damage, but that is just me....

[hezeuschrist]

Yeah, it's also a cell phone but the way they are marketing it is Portable Gaming system first, cell phone second. Not only that, but I think anyone will look retarded with a GBA next to their ear.

[Zaxxon]

Where are they marketing it? I haven't seen any ads anywhere.

[hezeuschrist]

They're marketing it in Gamestop, EB, and Gamespot... not heavily, but they're taking preorders.

[zektor]

Yeah, and with a $300 price t ag and screenshots that look like old old DOS games (take a look at the Tomb Raider port), I forsee this system dead in the water.

[Drexel923]

I laughed my ass off when they were asked if they were worried about competing with the gameboy. They said that they weren't worried becuase they were aiming at the "cool" adult market and the gameboy is only for kids. They also said that people would be embarresed to play the gameboy in public but not the n-gage. Absolute idiots. I give them a week until they call it quits.

[hezeuschrist]

Rather fitting avatar for that post, Drexel.

[Drexel923]

yeah.. it comes in handy every once and a while

[ManekiNeko]

People are eating up the hype, though. Just read this for proof:

http://wireless.ziffdavis.com/articl...1141512,00.asp

Your head will be spinning after you read this nonsense. I wrote the author to complain and he adamantly defends his ignorant beliefs. I just hope that he's wrong in saying that people are so concerned with their reputations that they'd be willing to slum with crappy cell phone games rather than playing good ones on a "children's system".

JR

[Drexel923]

Thats the biggest thing I think is funny. You want to call the cube a kiddie system (which its not) then go ahead, you can look at some of the games and say well it looks like kids stuff. But you look at the GBA and even GameBoy in general and the huge library has so many diverse games that encompass all age groups. Plus I've seen more adults with the GBA than kids, especially when the SP came out.

[portnoyd]

Wow, that guy thinks that the PSP will have a battery life longer than 2 hours. And anyone will want to play NGage games. Funny.

dave

[tssk]

After seeing video of the e3 launch I concur. It will sell.

If the public want ports of seven year old PSOne games running at half the speed that they did originally at almost four-ten times the price.

[bargora]

It seems to me that the writer of that article has not actually played games on a GBA/SP.

[zmeston]

After seeing video of the e3 launch I concur. It will sell.

If the public want ports of seven year old PSOne games running at half the speed that they did originally at almost four-ten times the price.

The public hasn't demonstrated any hesitation about buying ports of 10-year-old Super NES games, so why not seven-year-old PlayStation games?

And, given the PSP's announced specs, what on Earth makes you think that PlayStation/PSone ports would run at "half the speed"? If anything, those specs indicate that PlayStation ports will run faster and smoother on the PSP than on their original hardware, as with SNES ports to the GBA.

-- Z.

[zmeston]

Thats the biggest thing I think is funny. You want to call the cube a kiddie system (which its not) then go ahead, you can look at some of the games and say well it looks like kids stuff. But you look at the GBA and even GameBoy in general and the huge library has so many diverse games that encompass all age groups. Plus I've seen more adults with the GBA than kids, especially when the SP came out.

The fact that Nintendo continues to be pigeonholed by mainstream journalists and consumers as a kid-oriented company, a decade after giving up its hardline family-friendly stance, is a huge problem -- but Nintendo doesn't help its case when its own leaders are declaring at E3 that "Mario will never shoot hookers," dismissing GTA and M-rated games as a passing fad.

-- Z.

[Drexel923]

Thats the biggest thing I think is funny. You want to call the cube a kiddie system (which its not) then go ahead, you can look at some of the games and say well it looks like kids stuff. But you look at the GBA and even GameBoy in general and the huge library has so many diverse games that encompass all age groups. Plus I've seen more adults with the GBA than kids, especially when the SP came out.

The fact that Nintendo continues to be pigeonholed by mainstream journalists and consumers as a kid-oriented company, a decade after giving up its hardline family-friendly stance, is a huge problem -- but Nintendo doesn't help its case when its own leaders are declaring at E3 that "Mario will never shoot hookers," dismissing GTA and M-rated games as a passing fad.

-- Z.

I totally agree with you, I just find it funny that everyone is still using this same old "childrens system" attack. Its like all of those political ads you see on tv. If your system is so much better and your games trump your competitors then say that and tell us why. They obviously want to confuse stupid people and tell them becuase something is "cool" you have to buy it. It doesn't matter anymore what the product is, as long as it has the right image. And americans love it. If this keeps on going on much longer, than pretty soon were going to have nothing but shit games coming out...but at least they'll be "cool".

[calthaer]

Unfortunately the sheer number of crappy games on the GBA means that Nokia doesn't have to do all that much to succeed. Not that I'm saying that they'll survive - a $300 price tag is insanely high (esp. when Xbox and PS2 are both under $200, AND when the GBA is $100 or less) and I don't see them coming out with any Mario-killer games to draw people to the system. But those Mario games are diamonds in the rough when it comes to the GBA - most of the games are slipshod pieces of licensed crap. If the Ngage has a few quality titles to rival the few quality titles on the GBA then they still don't have a chance, but if every game that comes out for it somehow is some shining paragon of awesomeness...

Point is, Nintendo will probably remain the leader, but it won't be because they're so super-good and smart. The GBA's software library largely sucks. Whatever happened to the "Nintendo Seal of Quality?"