I'm confused. Are you trying to avoid not having a kid? Ie, you want a kid? That doesn't make sense in light of your pro-abortion stance. My wife just had our first child and I'd give up all my games to keep him without a doubt. Once you've held your own child in your arms you will then not be able to imagine how you lived without one. I put off having one for a long time, but I knew I would die miserable with regret in a nursing home with no one to visit me if I didn't have a kid.