What Type of Person Would "Game Company Y" Be?

[Nz17]

I'll start the thread with an example:

Electronic Arts used to be an artist with a lot of friends. But now he is a polygamist who married some of his former buddies. He is married to several spouses, and they are all one-sided marriages. He's a bad husband who marries talented women so he can sell their art without paying them anything more than a meager living wage; due to his greedy, bad behaviors, EA breaks their spirits and the spouses turn into shadows of their former selves. Their children have nothing to do with EA after they leave the house. But EA is the richest man in his country and one of the richest in the world, so he keeps adding more brides to his long line of sham marriages. People fondly remember how he used to be, but lament what he has turned into.

...That was far darker and less funny than I was hoping for. Perhaps some of you can craft better personifications of game companies than I have.

Here's some to choose from:
---
Square
Enix
Taito
Irem
Midway
Namco
Acclaim
Bandai
Game Arts
Atari
Activision
Hudson
Konami
Capcom
SEGA
Nintendo
SONY
Microsoft
Ubisoft
Treasure
Rare
Harmonix
HAL Laboratories

[PreZZ]

Drugs are bad... mmmmmkay?

[Nz17]

Drugs are bad... mmmmmkay?

That's not what Walgreens says.

[Tanooki]

Square a company that started from meager roots, grounded, on the level, firm. They enjoyed their work, made some nice projects, but were always just a bit performer on the stage hoping to hit it big. Upon deciding it maybe wasn't their forte acting on a public stage they decided to do a big last hurrah event, their final, a fantasy presentation hoping to capture the hearts of the audience. Amazingly for them, quitting was surviving. People took notice of Square's showmanship, scripting, acting, the talent they had and fans began to come from all around to their town to see what they could do. As the fans grew, so did the fluff, the pomp, the glitz and glamour and finally some questionable decision making. Eventually arrogance clicked in and they felt unstoppable, it became a big fluffy show with candelabras, flowing music, lots of colors and sparkles, Liberace personified! But just like Liberace all the foof and glitz began to wear on people and they just weren't coming in like they used to, trying to do more it would hit and miss with backfires and some successes trying something new. Eventually having to merge with a grounded partner of the stage only ultimately tainting their reputation while the partner would always try and be the rational bit of the group. And like Liberace the Square we once knew and loved for consistency and greatness ended up being consumed by a fatal illness and is just waiting to die once the disease runs its course which sadly will take it's loving partner in deaths embrace along with it.


That work?

[celerystalker]

Taito used to be the prettiest girl in Iowa. She married a rich guy named Square who hides her away like a trophy wife and makes her flash her good bits at his friends at parties occasionally. She spends most of her time crying in the shower while blaring Zuntata on her stereo so he won't hear her and rough her up. Every now and then, she looks into the mirror in disgust and dreams of being back home, wearing her Space Invaders dress to prom or blowing bubbles in the front yard. She still has nightmares about being attacked by giant fish as a child.

[Tanooki]

Rare...
The unmitigated genius slacker for life that just never really handled fame, fortune, or even a good work ethic. The early days of his career the boy genius would toil away at many games, yet Rarely ever got credit because their boss would publish their formulas for greatness and get the credit. Once the slacker finally took enough it just didn't show up for work one day and took a risk and went to go live the love of a dude in a van for awhile living off the land and trying to do what it wanted for once. The slacker decided being the genius was fun and the work started to happen and a partnership with what some could consider the devil was sewn and their soul was owned for a time. The slacker was prodded, poked, and repeatedly bribed carrying all their weight because as smart as the dude was, a genius really as the work that did get finished really showed it with the celebrity like geniuses fans, the slacking returned. Genius came to the fans, but the slacking returned in force, and nothing the boy genius ever made was out on time, usually not even in the intended year but when it arrives it worked and worked well. The keeper of their souls would time and again pay to room, board, and feed the slacker because of the eventual returns...for a time. Eventually the slacking hit a point where years could pass before something came up and still at a loss for the slackers babysitter. Eventually like an era long ago, the slacker was sold into indentured servitude to a new cruel master who would crack the whip and keep cracking it, life drained from the slacker. Parts of the slacker would just die and slough off like dead skin or a gangrenous digit or limb. In time the slacking would ravage the body of the genius, little to no good would come from the slacker as the genius mind too eroded into a poison stricken dementia trying to relive its former glory with fuzzy memories and hope that would be little realized and ultimately it was just rot as a virtual zombie until some future death to come under the boot of its master.

[Gentlegamer]

EA is 80s guy from Futurama. And so is Microsoft.

[Tanooki]

^Hah look a graphic novel of few words yet deep meaning. Problem is for EA or MS to get that, it would need to be a pop up book.

[SpaceHarrier]

SEGA rose to power in the midst of the great console wars, crowned king briefly in the 16-bit era. Truth be told, SEGA truly cared little for the politics of war, yet loving glory, instead preferred to lavish large sums of royal money upon multiple artistic endeavors. Commissioning grand edifice after edifice, sometimes several at the same time, as well as fine art to adorn said architecture, the coffers were emptied at an alarming rate. No one could restrain the vision SEGA strove for, great lover and patron of the arts, thus many advisors came, and went under SEGA's rule.

Just when SEGA had completed the most fantastical construction, and began to decorate it with the greatest of tapestries, the well was dry. It was over, the grand project abandoned. Legend has it, after a fight with a financial advisor, SEGA drowned in a shallow pool of water at the base of a hill, overlooked by the massive Dreamcast that towered overhead.

Not long after, all of SEGA's grand legacy was usurped and transformed into a tourist trap which still operates today.

[Niku-Sama]

Atari is the person every one liked but they still made stupid decisions and killed them selves any way

[PreZZ]

EA is a fancy las vegas hooker. As long as you dont mind paying for extras, you'll eventually get the full package.

[Tanooki]

That and if you piss off her pimp, he'll beat your ass and bury you (like EA does to competition and random good studios.)

[Niku-Sama]

Sierra feel victim to ea's pimp beating murder

[Tanooki]

One of too many. EA's rap sheet would be best memorialized in marble or granite with just a solemn list of names of the companies and all the people who got fucked working for each one under it. It would look like a war memorial.

[celerystalker]

Sierra has cholera. Sierra has died.

[celerystalker]

Acclaim sold me a beat up station wagon that was once owned by Homer Simpson. Sure, it was missing the wheels, and I'm pretty sure Homer Simpson is a cartoon character, but it was so convincing. Later, I went to return it, and he let me exchange it for the actual helicopter from First Blood Part II. I mean, it was blown up at the end of the movie, but I was assured that this was the real deal, even if it does say "News 5" on the side. I was thinking about never doing business with him again, but he invited me to hang out with Dave Mirra and some strippers...

[Nebagram]

Not on the list above, but I always viewed Codemasters as the guy you knew in school who would always entertain you with their wit and creativity and was universally popular, but when you run into them 20 years later they've turned into the most boring accountant who ever lived, and when they try to entertain you with the jokes they told in school, they just come across as flat.

[Niku-Sama]

wow and considering that avatar that's a first hand experence

[retroguy]

Nintendo is a famous actor who used to be the biggest star in the world but whose career has diminished as the public's initial love affair with them wore off. They truly love the craft of acting however, so they continue to do so even if it means taking smaller roles and making less money. They still have loyal fans who enjoy their work, but the number is far smaller than it used to be and they're okay with that, settling into a comfortable not-quite-obscurity.