"Why I Should Win DP Survivor" (NEED YOUR VOTE)
Only four players left in the game! Please read and vote on the essay you think is best. The winner gets two CGE releases (Cube Quest and Save the Whales).
KIDFENRIS:
It was the best of games; it was the worst of games. It was a game of companionship; it was a game of isolation. It was a game of hope; it was a game of bitterness. It was a game of generous rewards; it was a game of pixelly turtles that could never quite flip themselves over. In other words, it was the DP Survivor Contest.
And to this fierce test of endurance and complaining ability, there came a young man with little beyond the earnest desire to compete. He had no idea of how he would fare in his chosen tribe, and only a hazy image of what the contest would entail. Yet he was not afraid to face the challenges before him, though said events could possibly be devised by the most depraved members of the DP forums. He was undaunted, not even by the prospect of facing the likes of “Buttasuperb’s Boiling Bukkake Blitz” or “Sothy’s Cave of Skullfuckery.”
(Actually, those would scare the hell out of me, but never mind that now.)
While such tests were blessedly absent from the competition, it was not an easy undertaking. The youthful gamer watched as others, many of them better men than he, were cast out of the running. And yet he persevered, for beyond all the challenges dealing with high scores and trivia questions and boozehound cats, he envisioned a greater challenge: that of completing the tournament and walking away from it with triumph in hand. It was for this reason that he chose to stay in the contest until its end.
And that is why I deserve to win this competition. The prizes I win will not merely serve as conversation pieces and means of amusement. They shall be proof of my existence, evidence that I seized the potential of my being and formed my own destiny. The spoils of my victory will be a monument to say, “I was there. I did it. And I wanted a game about saving whales.”
So I hope that . . . that . . . Oh, the hell with it. Vote for this essay and I’ll buy you a drink at the next CGE.
KAINE:
(To find how I did this, go here: http://rinkworks.com/dialect/)
Howdy-doo, Kaine hyar. Thet lovable bastard Jeff axed us in th' Final Four
t'write an essay, reckonin' we were back in high skoo an' not on th' DP
Survivo' islan' about whuffo' we desarve t'win, as enny fool kin plainly see.
Af'er dealin' wif frestrashuns by playin' Conker's Bad Fur Day, ah came up wif
sumpin.
Dis game's been some lot uh fun fo' me- met new homeys on bod sides, had fun
mudslin'in' and da damn challengers wuz interestin', 'sept fo' de 'Stay down
all night one, but we won't hold it against Jeff, honestly! Right on! I've had
some lot uh fun and even surprised mah'self makin' it dis far and would real
much likes t'go all de way! Right on! Even if ah' don't win in de final 2, o'
make it past da damn next 2 immunities, ah' still had some lot uh fun dough.
Lop some boogie. So's why should ah' win here? I've bene one da damn harda'
players uh dis game- bein' around fo' mos' all challenges 'sept fo' some couple
and tryin' t'motivate our tribe t'do our best unda' de circumstances we wuz
presented.
I awso want to win to gain some wespect. I know I may not be the bwightest of
the gwoups knowwedge-wise ow that big into cowwecting ow know which games ow
deaws awe good and whatnot, but I twy my best. Soonew ow watew I wiww go
totawwy into cowwecting and the knowwedge and fwiends I find hewe couwd hewp me
find good titwes instead of the Atawi 2600 E.T.s and Pac-Mans. Oh, dat scwewy
wabbit! I know I may have posted stupid comments aww ovew which upset a wot,
hense why I may be ignowed sometimes, but upon wetuwning I wiww be bwightew and
wisew...duwing my time hewe I've gained a PS2 and a new wiking fow gaming and
getting into cowwecting thanks to the games given to me, and cowwecting ideas
fwom othew Suwvivow pwayews. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Hopefuwwy making it as faw
as I did against the odds and making new fwiends in this game, I can get some
wespect back home and pewhaps when I do wetuwn when the game ends ow I'm voted
out, we can aww stawt on a cwean swate.
Well here's my essay. Like it or not, vote it whatever, I enjoyed doing this
and I do have the hopes that those reading it will listen to my words, take
them in and allow me to be accepted moreso back home.
PACKMAN:
Why do any of the final four deserve to win? We've all been at the majority of the challenges, and we've all done what we could to win. We all also love video games, so I think we all equally deserve to win.
What have I done that makes me worthy? I've only missed one challenge throughout the game, and that was only because I had to go out of town. The power went out at my house 15 before one of the challenges, but I didn't let that stop me. I sat there in the dark on a laptop fumbling my way over the keyboard. I can't type, so finding the correct keys is not an easy task in the dark.
I've done everything I could to stay in the game, except for maybe trying to form alliances once the two tribes combined. Because of that, I'm guessing that this is my last challenge. Win or lose, I've had fun and enjoyed participating in DP Survivor. I hope it was at least somewhat entertaining for the folks on the mainland. Good luck to my fellow survivors.
And now for the gratuitous begging. Since this is probably my last challenge, it is also my last chance at winning some gaming goodies. Ever since I was a young boy, it has been my dream to own a game released at the amazing Classic Gaming Expo. Don't let my simple writings keep you from making the dreams of a poor, uneducated peasant boy come true.
ACHIKA:
Who’s to say who is worthy? It’s like asking whether a painting is ‘art’ or not. Everyone is ‘worthy’ in their own respects, perhaps not to one person but maybe another. Maybe by other peoples standards I’m not worthy to win this thing, but for my own satisfaction I have stayed in the game this long and gave it my all. I’ve had fun playing and fun it was. I’ve made friendships and strengthened ones that I had going into this game and the fact that now I am talking to people that I normally wouldn’t have talked to outside a UBB or BBS has broadened my horizons to more that is going on in the world besides in my little corner of Michigan. In my opinion, that’s the best thing I’m going to get from this game. But for the parting of this small essay, I give you this, and you may take what you will from it as I am sure you are aware of its’ original context:
“Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him. The good is oft interred with their bones; So let it be with Caesar. The noble Brutus Hath told you Caesar was ambitious : If it were so, it was a grievous fault, And grievously hath Caesar answered it, Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest, For Brutus is an honorable man; So are they all, all honorable men; Come I to speak in Caesar’s funeral. He was my friend, faithful and just to me; But Brutus says he was ambitious; And Brutus is an honorable man.
…Yet Brutus says he was ambitious; And Brutus is an honorable man.
….O judgment ! thou art fled to brutish beasts. And men have lost their reason. Bear with me; My heart is in the coffin there with Caesar, And I must pause till it come back to me.”
-Shakespeare, William. Julius Caesar, a Tragedy.
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