Why are you sticking to your guns with a wired router? I have a wireless router but I only use the wireless for my DS. When it comes down to it you MUST use wireless in some form.
Also AOL does not support ICS, it greys out lots of options you could have. Atleast with dial-up it does, the broadband program may have residue of that BS. Change ISPs. Having AOL is like having a virus, you've gotta remove it before any serious tech help can be given.