GAH...talk like that will get your gamer's license revoked. Blasphemy I say, BLASPHEMY!!
You mentioned shovelware, are you sure you're not thinking of the Wii? It's small and white like the DC with 4 controller ports.
All kidding aside, it's a damn shame you think that of the DC and Saturn, they're two of my most favorite systems. But then, to each their own I suppose.
I can't expect to get you to like them anymore than you could get me to hate them but I have to wonder, were you there at the ground floor of it or did you experience them well after the fact?
Anyway...I can't conjure up any system that I have absolutely no desire to play again. The only system I can think of that might even be close to this would be the PC-FX. I owned one several years ago and just could not get into the system. To be fair, I only had 3 titles for the system (pretty sure I bought it as a bundle) and the titles I did have either weren't fun or had a steep language barrier that prevented me from playing them. I ended up selling the machine to my friend when I was in a tough spot but if I had held on to the system, I'm sure I would have sought out the desirable/popular titles for it and give me a reason to want to play it again at some point.
Honestly, most of my systems I can't be arsed to hook back up. That said, I own some titles for each system that would make me want to hook them up if I got the wild hair up my arse to play them. Some titles like Dragon Force actually force me to NOT hook up the systems as I do not want to get addicted to them all over again.