Alrighty kids, gather 'round. It's story time.

The scene: Splatterhouse, the arcade version. It was the first time I got to level six in the arcade. I had beaten the Turbografx-16 version before. Level six frustrated me on the TG. Those godfecking alien hunchback fetus goblins were getting the best of me, and I whenever I got to the boss, I usually only had one heart left, which I quickly lost to the giant heart and his army of fetuses. However, my reflexes sharpened as I kept going through the stage, I beat the fetuses as fast as I could, and I got to the boss, flogging any alien that came my way, and I beat that heart to a pulp, standing close to what it once was. I went on to beat the last level of that game, but that's not important. Now, here I was, at the arcade version, working twice as hard as before, because the original arcade version of any game is most likely more difficult than anything released on a home console port. Splatterhouse was not an exception, and I had to take at least one break to vent my rage. Then, I got to the boss. He kicked my ass. I kept trying this maddening stage over and over again, and my persistence paid off. I beat the heart into submission, and I stood close to its dying form, like I did on the TG-16.

BIG. EFFING. MISTAKE.

No one told me that the heart's insides ripped open and exploded into an acidic puddle on the arcade version, and I knew they didn't do that on the TG-16! The heart's last ditch effort worked. I was on my last heart, and I had to start the most infuriating stage on Earth all over again. At that point, I had the urge to drive my heel into the computer. Anything to get out the feelings of shock and anger out of me. But do not worry. I beat it, and I beat the game. Every time I flog the heart, I stay away. It's habit to me now, because I am certainly NOT going to forget what happened that day. NEVER AGAIN.