Here's the solution:
1) Download a Virtual Machine (for games that don't require any sort of hardware acceleration, Microsoft Virtual PC 2007 is the easiest to use)
2) Go through the steps to create a virtual hard drive and install the OS of your choice. Keep in mind that older versions of Windows have coniptions about hard drive sizes--Windows 98 SE is supposed to be unlimited but you should stick to 30gb just to be safe. Windows 95 requires the HD to be 2gigs or LESS, and I would assume the same is true of Windows 3.1 (which requires DOS so I recommend installing either 95 or 98 instead).
3) Install the game in the virtual machine. It should play just fine here.
Seriously, Virtual Machines are a GODSEND for those older Windows games.
If you're asking "how do I get Windows 98?" .... ummm... well.... I have an answer but its not one I'm allowed to say in public.