I am really sorry guys, but it really is over this time. There is nothing anybody can do for me, it's just a matter of time before I go. All they can do is give me chemotherapy and hope that it works and that will help me live through the rest of this year. Otherwise, I'm going to have to go sooner than that.
It just spread everywhere. There's too many ways I can die. It's in my lungs so eventually I may stop breathing. It's in my back so eventually I may become completely paralyzed. It's starting to form in my head so I may die from seizures after I eventually suffer memory loss and that kind of stuff. There's more. I have so much pain everyday that I can't function like a normal person anymore. It's so painful to stand that using the bathroom and taking a shower are two of the hardest things for me. I can hardly eat anymore. I can't walk anymore either, nothing is wrong with my legs but the pain on my back when I walk is too much. I can't breathe like I used to. Just about everything I do involves pain and difficulty and it's not going to get any better. I'm sorry I couldn't come through for you guys, I tried my hardest and so did my doctors, but there is just nothing left to do for me but to wait for me to eventually die in however many months it's going to be.
Right now I am just doing my best to try and learn to accept this the best I can and to find the best way to spend the rest of life.
Thank you all for all of your support. This kind of thing is what makes SRK a different place.
If you really think about it, it is a pretty lame idea. Hundreds of people spending time online posting messages on a bullietin board because we are drawn together for our love of, of all things, video games. A childish hobby that we take so seriously, or have so much fun with, that we have people dedicated to the sole purpose of ensuring we can all get together and play. And not just play. Put in ridiculous amounts of time, effort, and money.
What happened here is different though. This a community of people that just happens to be drawn together by video games. It's just a common bond.
If the moderators can get the staff of SRK to read this, I would really appreciate it:
To the Cannons, MrWizard, and all others who are instrumental in the upkeep of SRK and its events -
I would like to extend my gratitude to you for working so hard to keep this place alive. I know that it's not easy and it's not cheap. I also know you don't even have to do it all. If you really wanted to, you could throw in the towel and save yourselves of trouble.
For the sake of the players and the community that has grown here, you all work your hardest to maintain this place just so people have a place to come together and bullshit about things that more than half world doesn't even take seriously. Because you do this, you have managed to bring together people from all over this country and it's really an amazing thing.
Because of this site, I was able to make friends whenever I moved in the US. It was very hard for me, because I had never lived here in the US and, even now, I am still adjusting my way of life to accomodate the differences between the culture I grew up in and one I currently live in. I moved from Boston to Gainesville during a very difficult part of my life and because of this place, I was able to meet with and make friends with very good people.
I appreciate your hard work and dedication to keep this site up. A vast majority of the people here don't even know me and are great enough people to be willing to support me through the last part of my life. This is a great community of people. Please don't stop doing what you do, because no one does it better.
I'll be back and post again sometime soon. Thank you guys for everything.